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Monday, August 25, 2008

We Are All Special

I know that sounds like something out of a children's book, but it's true. So hear me out.

So often, there is a feeling of "specialness" associated with having an eating disorder. It's a big part of the reason people are afraid to really recover. They fear losing that specialness, that part of them that makes them someone, that feeling of power, that deep seated persona.

The thing is, we are all special. Specialness does not die with your eating disorder--it just gets re-applied, reassigned to something WORTH that feeling.

Why are bones special? Or feelings of hunger? Or conquering those feelings of hunger? Or being in control of depriving ourselves day after day? Why is self-sabotage special? Will holding onto unhealthy ways really keep us special? It's a fallacy. Believe me. It is.

Depression. Dying. Misery. Pain. Confusion. Since when are those things special? I mean, really special?

Your mission, if you choose to accept it: FIND OUT what REALLY makes you special.

Because I promise you--it's NOT your eating disorder.
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6 comments:

  1. AnonymousAugust 25, 2008 at 10:25 PM

    I have never thought of it as specialness. Just...my identity. Me. Who am I if not my eating disorder? It's the only me I know. Who am I if I'm not hungry? Who am I if I'm not restricting?

    I'm nobody special. I'm afraid without these things...I'm nobody at all.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Arielle Bair, MSW, LSWAugust 26, 2008 at 8:02 AM

    Anonymous,

    That's untrue. The hardest part is discovering WHO YOU REALLY ARE without it. Trust me. It's a difficult thing, but you are definitely more than your eating disorder. I used to feel as you do--day in and day out--but there's a light at the end. There is. It's just many miles away and it takes a lot of strength to get to it. Keep building your strength. Keep wanting out. You'll make it. I believe in you.

    Much love,
    Arielle

    ReplyDelete
  3. Mrs. BAugust 28, 2008 at 9:30 AM

    Thank you for another insightful post--I have kinda figured that out with my daughter. She doesn't want it anymore but who am I without it---we have alkways told her that she is specail and beautiful and amazing. One day I hope she truly believes it. I wish you lived here:)--I think I am going to let her start reading your posts.
    mrsb

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  4. Arielle Bair, MSW, LSWAugust 28, 2008 at 12:17 PM

    Mrs. B,

    Your comments are always very important to me. As someone who once struggled with an eating disorder, the concept of not being special enough without one is a hard one to shake. It takes a long time for that old pull to go away.

    I hope that one day (sooner rather than later) your daughter realizes her worth and beauty too. I know so many lovely and wonderful girls/women who can't seem to feel special enough without their eating disorder--and who can't seem to recognize their own beauty. Such a great shame.

    I know I mentioned this before, but I'd be happy to talk with your daughter via email! She has a great mother.

    Thanks so much again.

    Much love,
    Arielle

    ReplyDelete
  5. Mrs. BAugust 28, 2008 at 10:43 PM

    Arielle;

    I let her read your blog today--she didn't say a whole lot--I will pass on what you said. thanks again. mrs b

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  6. Emily JolieSeptember 20, 2008 at 2:40 PM

    Dearest Arielle,

    I just caught up on your recent posts. You are always such an inspiration, and you express your thoughts so beautifully!

    with much love to you,

    ~ej

    ReplyDelete

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