Question # 16: Forbidden Foods & What It's Really About

The next question comes from Kia. She asks:

"In these years of anorexia, I've stopped eating a lot of different foods (most of them, except fruits, vegetables, yogurt and meat), and some of the foods I've stopped eating, they have become some kind of 'forbidden': I still can't eat some of them (such as pizza, ice-cream, hamburgers, wrustel, etc...), while I eat hardly some others... So, I wanted to ask you: have you lived something similar? If yes, have you solved the problem, or are there 'forbidden' food to you, right now? Moreover: how did you solve this problem? How can you resist to put out again some foods from your nutrition?"

It may surprise you to know that I have no "forbidden" foods. I also have no "safe" foods. I eat everything, and I do mean everything. I'm not even a picky eater. There are a few foods I naturally dislike like creamed corn, french onion soup, and scallops, but I've disliked them since childhood. Other than those and a very few others, I eat anything and everything.

When I was dealing with my anorexia, I definitely ate very few foods. I had certain foods that I considered safe - usually low calorie foods. I had such little variety in my diet it was amazing (actually boring is a better word). I also had, as you call them, "forbidden" foods. At one point, I wouldn't eat anything with fat content. I had to have fat-free everything. I wouldn't eat sweets. I wouldn't eat hamburgers. The list went on and on.

I had to re-learn what it means to eat. I used food as a coping mechanism. As a form of control. There were problems behind the food - food wasn't really the problem. Once I was able to deal with the problems, I was able to realize that food was just food. It's what eating disordered individuals strive to learn every day - that food is just food. What a concept, you know? But it's true - food is to nourish and to be enjoyed. It's not a violent entity. It's not a weapon. It's not a punishment. It's not a reward. It just is.

I also had to slowly re-introduce foods that I had previously given up. Foods that used to scare me, I had to bring back into my diet one by one. It's really as simple as that. I can't promise you won't have moments of freaking out or feeling bad, but keep pushing through.

The following video can answer this question better than anything else I can say, and surprisingly enough it was this week's "Wednesday Warriors" video for the ED recovery collaboration on YouTube. Check it out! :)