If you haven't already read my recent post on the Beauty Message Challenge, you can do so here. Then, here's a video in which I discuss my experience with the BMC and give both an update and a special message to all of you.
You are beautiful! Thank you so much Arielle. You are an amazing and inspiring woman and I am so happy that we connected. I love the card you picked for yourself.
So this doesn't really respond to this post, but I just needed to get a question out there. I suffered from an eating disorder for 7 years. From 7th grade, up until last year. In 7th grade, it was anorexia, and I dropped to an alarming weight, but my parents seemed to afraid to ask me what was wrong. Then, for the next 6 years, I struggled constantly with going through cycles of restricting, and then binging, so that I was always a normal weight, but my eating disorder occupied my every thought. It drained every bit of life from me. Up until last year, I had no hope of getting better. Then, going away to college, and getting a new relationship seemed to change things. I was happy. And seemingly overnight, I realized that I wasn't counting calories so much anymore. I stayed at a healthy weight. I was stunned that something that occupied my every thought, could disappear so quickly. I guess I was naive. I had been seemingly recovered for over a year. As of 3 weeks ago, my friend asked me if I had gained weight. She wasn't trying to be rude, but this sent me into a tailspin. I had been having some disordered thoughts creeping back in for a few weeks, but I had stayed on track. I am so ashamed by how easily I relapsed. I've already dropped a lot of weight, and I can't pull myself out of it. In a way, I'm shamefully happy that I'm succeeding in losing weight, because that was what was so bad about my eating disorder in high school. I was a normal weight, so no one even thought to ask. I'm terrified at how fast I'm losing, but I can't bring myself to eat. I need advice on how to start taking steps towards recovery again.
First, don't give up. Relapses happen and you can stop it from becoming much worse than it is. You have the power to change what it is happening. The eating disordered part of you doesn't WANT to change it, which is the problem. But you can be stronger than that.
You asked for advice on how to start taking steps towards recovery again. These pages from my blog might help:
Slip-ups vs. Relapses: http://tearstowords.blogspot.com/2010/08/slip-ups-vs-relapses.html
Three things you can do today: http://tearstowords.blogspot.com/2010/04/three-things-you-can-do-today.html
How will I know I'm being mindful/self-aware?: http://tearstowords.blogspot.com/2010/02/how-will-i-know-im-being-mindfulself.html
Getting your priorities straight: http://tearstowords.blogspot.com/2009/11/getting-your-priorities-straight.html
Turning away from self-hate and behaviors: http://tearstowords.blogspot.com/2009/11/question-12-turning-away-from-self-hate.html
I hope they showed up as links, but if they didn't, just copy and paste the url into your browser. Keep fighting, Allison.
Thank you. I guess it's especially hard, because I've tasted what it's like to not think about food more than normal. I was free to go out and do things, I was more driven in other aspects of my life, like music. Now, getting back to this... It's so unbelievably hard, and I can't imagine doing it all over again. Right now, I'd rather drop more weight than practice piano, and music is my passion. It hurts to be so numb to that.
Allison - having the taste of what it's like to be free of the eating disorder is your best ally, not your worst enemy. Change your thinking. It makes it more upsetting right now, certainly, but in the long run, it's that reality you once knew that can help you pull yourself out of this whole. Not to mention - you did it before, so you can do it again. Don't sell yourself short, okay? I am not saying it will be easy, but you are not alone in having done well for a time only to slip up again. You can and will get through this and you will be the stronger for it. Your recovery will be even more solid once you've pushed through this bad time and come out on top.
Amazing! Soooo inspiring!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, and yes, you and I, WE ARE BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Love, Soledad
Precious friend, you never fail to encourage and inspire me and to lift my spirit to what is important. I adore you xxx
ReplyDeleteYou are beautiful! Thank you so much Arielle. You are an amazing and inspiring woman and I am so happy that we connected. I love the card you picked for yourself.
ReplyDeleteSo this doesn't really respond to this post, but I just needed to get a question out there. I suffered from an eating disorder for 7 years. From 7th grade, up until last year. In 7th grade, it was anorexia, and I dropped to an alarming weight, but my parents seemed to afraid to ask me what was wrong. Then, for the next 6 years, I struggled constantly with going through cycles of restricting, and then binging, so that I was always a normal weight, but my eating disorder occupied my every thought. It drained every bit of life from me. Up until last year, I had no hope of getting better. Then, going away to college, and getting a new relationship seemed to change things. I was happy. And seemingly overnight, I realized that I wasn't counting calories so much anymore. I stayed at a healthy weight. I was stunned that something that occupied my every thought, could disappear so quickly. I guess I was naive. I had been seemingly recovered for over a year. As of 3 weeks ago, my friend asked me if I had gained weight. She wasn't trying to be rude, but this sent me into a tailspin. I had been having some disordered thoughts creeping back in for a few weeks, but I had stayed on track. I am so ashamed by how easily I relapsed. I've already dropped a lot of weight, and I can't pull myself out of it. In a way, I'm shamefully happy that I'm succeeding in losing weight, because that was what was so bad about my eating disorder in high school. I was a normal weight, so no one even thought to ask. I'm terrified at how fast I'm losing, but I can't bring myself to eat. I need advice on how to start taking steps towards recovery again.
ReplyDeleteAllison -
ReplyDeleteFirst, don't give up. Relapses happen and you can stop it from becoming much worse than it is. You have the power to change what it is happening. The eating disordered part of you doesn't WANT to change it, which is the problem. But you can be stronger than that.
You asked for advice on how to start taking steps towards recovery again. These pages from my blog might help:
Slip-ups vs. Relapses: http://tearstowords.blogspot.com/2010/08/slip-ups-vs-relapses.html
Three things you can do today: http://tearstowords.blogspot.com/2010/04/three-things-you-can-do-today.html
How will I know I'm being mindful/self-aware?: http://tearstowords.blogspot.com/2010/02/how-will-i-know-im-being-mindfulself.html
Getting your priorities straight: http://tearstowords.blogspot.com/2009/11/getting-your-priorities-straight.html
Turning away from self-hate and behaviors: http://tearstowords.blogspot.com/2009/11/question-12-turning-away-from-self-hate.html
I hope they showed up as links, but if they didn't, just copy and paste the url into your browser. Keep fighting, Allison.
Thank you. I guess it's especially hard, because I've tasted what it's like to not think about food more than normal. I was free to go out and do things, I was more driven in other aspects of my life, like music. Now, getting back to this... It's so unbelievably hard, and I can't imagine doing it all over again. Right now, I'd rather drop more weight than practice piano, and music is my passion. It hurts to be so numb to that.
ReplyDeleteAllison - having the taste of what it's like to be free of the eating disorder is your best ally, not your worst enemy. Change your thinking. It makes it more upsetting right now, certainly, but in the long run, it's that reality you once knew that can help you pull yourself out of this whole. Not to mention - you did it before, so you can do it again. Don't sell yourself short, okay? I am not saying it will be easy, but you are not alone in having done well for a time only to slip up again. You can and will get through this and you will be the stronger for it. Your recovery will be even more solid once you've pushed through this bad time and come out on top.
ReplyDeleteYou are amazing! i absolutely loved this post
ReplyDelete& I LOVE The beauty messages challenge
Dana xo
http://happinessiswithinblog.com/