Last Wednesday's video - 'cause I forgot to post it!
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Thursday, August 26, 2010
The Beauty Message Challenge
I am participating in the Beauty Message Challenge. And I hope you will too.
Click here to see what it's all about.
I will actually be a guest blogger for the first week in September. And here's what I'm doing for my special challenge:
1 - Each day for the next 10 days (starting with today), I will tell one woman in my life that she is beautiful and why. I plan to do this in a variety of ways, depending on the woman in question - by email, phone, card in the mail, in person, etc.
2 - I will also keep up with the main goal of the Beauty Message Challenge by telling myself that I am beautiful.
3 - I will have a special message for all my readers/viewers posted on September 4th, and the readers of The Beauty Message blog will see it as well, as it will be posted there too. The special message on September 4th will detail my experience sharing the beauty message with others and I will also share my thoughts on beauty. In addition, there will be a video posted that relates to the topic at hand.
Join me in telling yourself that you are beautiful each day for the next days. Please?
Click here to see what it's all about.
I will actually be a guest blogger for the first week in September. And here's what I'm doing for my special challenge:
1 - Each day for the next 10 days (starting with today), I will tell one woman in my life that she is beautiful and why. I plan to do this in a variety of ways, depending on the woman in question - by email, phone, card in the mail, in person, etc.
2 - I will also keep up with the main goal of the Beauty Message Challenge by telling myself that I am beautiful.
3 - I will have a special message for all my readers/viewers posted on September 4th, and the readers of The Beauty Message blog will see it as well, as it will be posted there too. The special message on September 4th will detail my experience sharing the beauty message with others and I will also share my thoughts on beauty. In addition, there will be a video posted that relates to the topic at hand.
Join me in telling yourself that you are beautiful each day for the next days. Please?
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Beating the "Eating Out" Dilemma
This is a question I received from a friend a couple of months ago. I responded to her and told her I planned to post that response on my blog so you could see it too. Hope it helps. :)
***"So my boyfriend LOVES food. Of course he knows about my eating disorder, but we are planning a bunch of trips... and he wants to eat out like all the time.. and I'm just not comfortable. You know what it's like... eating out is just a different ball game... I can eat out like once a day max, have whatever I want, without getting uncomfortable. And I mean I can eat out for lunch and dinner if I need to but I usually get crabby and uncomfortable about it... I was just wondering.. have you ever had that issue in recovery and what has helped you with it?"***
Yes, I definitely know what you mean about eating out. I used to really get antsy about it and it takes the joy out of being on trip.
1 - I found that knowing exactly what the plan was beforehand really helped any anxiety I had about it. So if there's any way you can sort of a) figure out where you two will head for the meals (or what kind of food you will be getting) the night before or first thing in the morning, that's ideal and b) if that's not gonna happen, YOU can at least plan what you will have for each meal. I know you won't have any menus in front of you, but you can set yourself a little generic plan for breakfast, lunch, dinner. That way when you get to the restaurant you already feel more secure and contained and know what to "look for" on the menu.
2 - Remember that if he knows about your ED you can be up front with him and make point 1 able to happen. Tell him it may help you to plan things out more before just doing, doing, doing so that you can enjoy yourself more. That at this point it's hard for you to just go with the flow, etc.
3 - Eating out doesn't necessarily mean you're eating unhealthily. If you can break your mind of that thinking, you'll feel better. Sure, one of the meals might feel heavier and more like "junk" than the others, but eating in a restaurant can honestly be every bit as FINE as eating a home cooked meal. So try to think of it in a different light.
4 - Make a deal with him that if you are going to eat 2-3 meals out per day, YOU and only you get to pick at least one of them. Then YOU pick the place. You'll feel more in control AND you'll be able to find a place that feels safe and healthy to you if you've had a day of eating a lot. And if you keep that "deal" up for the duration of your trips, you will feel lots better.
***"So my boyfriend LOVES food. Of course he knows about my eating disorder, but we are planning a bunch of trips... and he wants to eat out like all the time.. and I'm just not comfortable. You know what it's like... eating out is just a different ball game... I can eat out like once a day max, have whatever I want, without getting uncomfortable. And I mean I can eat out for lunch and dinner if I need to but I usually get crabby and uncomfortable about it... I was just wondering.. have you ever had that issue in recovery and what has helped you with it?"***
Yes, I definitely know what you mean about eating out. I used to really get antsy about it and it takes the joy out of being on trip.
1 - I found that knowing exactly what the plan was beforehand really helped any anxiety I had about it. So if there's any way you can sort of a) figure out where you two will head for the meals (or what kind of food you will be getting) the night before or first thing in the morning, that's ideal and b) if that's not gonna happen, YOU can at least plan what you will have for each meal. I know you won't have any menus in front of you, but you can set yourself a little generic plan for breakfast, lunch, dinner. That way when you get to the restaurant you already feel more secure and contained and know what to "look for" on the menu.
2 - Remember that if he knows about your ED you can be up front with him and make point 1 able to happen. Tell him it may help you to plan things out more before just doing, doing, doing so that you can enjoy yourself more. That at this point it's hard for you to just go with the flow, etc.
3 - Eating out doesn't necessarily mean you're eating unhealthily. If you can break your mind of that thinking, you'll feel better. Sure, one of the meals might feel heavier and more like "junk" than the others, but eating in a restaurant can honestly be every bit as FINE as eating a home cooked meal. So try to think of it in a different light.
4 - Make a deal with him that if you are going to eat 2-3 meals out per day, YOU and only you get to pick at least one of them. Then YOU pick the place. You'll feel more in control AND you'll be able to find a place that feels safe and healthy to you if you've had a day of eating a lot. And if you keep that "deal" up for the duration of your trips, you will feel lots better.
Monday, August 23, 2010
Slip-Ups vs. Relapses
Here's last week's Wednesday video. I'm a bit behind. :) It was up, but I forgot to post it here.
I think this is an important topic: Slip-ups vs. Relapses. A lot of people want to know the difference and what each one entails. Here you go!
I think this is an important topic: Slip-ups vs. Relapses. A lot of people want to know the difference and what each one entails. Here you go!
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Struggling with Growing Up
A reader asks,
"There are still things that I struggle with that I do not blog about, such as how my eating disorder is related to my fears of growing up and regression issues. I think a lot of people with EDs struggle with fears of growing up and regression- especially adolescents. I feel like a lot of people know that they struggle with this, but they're not very open about it. I would love to see you post something about eating disorders and fears of growing up. I've done my research and my therapist also tells me it is very common."
It is quite common. You're not alone. My hardest time within my own eating disorder was when I went away to college. I was turning 18 and everything seemed like a huge transition for me. I was becoming an adult, I was adapting to living on my own, I was figuring out who I was and what I wanted. I was making new kinds of friends. I was becoming more and more independent. It was very strange and made me very anxious.
I remember a time, as an older adolescent, that being dependent on my parents just seemed safer to me. It felt more natural and more comforting. I felt like growing up was completely out of my comfort zone.
And I think that's really what's at the heart of this issue: growing up feels unnatural. Why? Because you are so used to being young. You aren't used to being an adult because you've never been one yet. So how can you like it? Understand it? Be okay with it?
Some people are just better at adapting than others. I wasn't one of those people. I was anxious and I was looking for a way to make myself feel better about the whole thing. Cue eating disorder. I don't mean to say that my eating disorder stemmed completely from the fear of growing up, but that fear certainly played a part in my anxiety, in my transitional thinking, and in my eating disorder development.
I think being a kid is (normally) associated with feeling safe. So NOT being a kid often feels like the opposite.
The question then becomes, my friends, WHAT can you do to make you feel safer as you embark upon the journey of growing up? What's going to make you feel better about the whole strange thing?
A few suggestions:
1) Don't let go of childhood completely. Keep something with you/near you that represents comfort to you, whether it be a blanket, a picture, a stuffed animal, a book, a doll, etc. You'd be surprised how the memories and the feelings that go along with that object sink into your subconscious when you look at it/hold it while you're feeling anxious.
2) Talk to someone (or more than one someone!) who represents great adulthood to you. Someone you admire. Someone who is not very far from your own age. For example, if you're 18, maybe someone in their mid to late 20s would be able to make you realize that growing up can be just as good as staying a kid. Seek someone out who embodies positivity... someone who can be a role model... someone you like to be around. Let those encounters/talks/discussions be a guide into the future.
3) Remember that you're not alone. Everyone grows up sometimes. It's not necessarily a fun process, but it doesn't have to be terrible. Ask yourself why you're really afraid. What is it specifically about growing up that makes you so anxious that you want to regress?
"There are still things that I struggle with that I do not blog about, such as how my eating disorder is related to my fears of growing up and regression issues. I think a lot of people with EDs struggle with fears of growing up and regression- especially adolescents. I feel like a lot of people know that they struggle with this, but they're not very open about it. I would love to see you post something about eating disorders and fears of growing up. I've done my research and my therapist also tells me it is very common."
It is quite common. You're not alone. My hardest time within my own eating disorder was when I went away to college. I was turning 18 and everything seemed like a huge transition for me. I was becoming an adult, I was adapting to living on my own, I was figuring out who I was and what I wanted. I was making new kinds of friends. I was becoming more and more independent. It was very strange and made me very anxious.
I remember a time, as an older adolescent, that being dependent on my parents just seemed safer to me. It felt more natural and more comforting. I felt like growing up was completely out of my comfort zone.
And I think that's really what's at the heart of this issue: growing up feels unnatural. Why? Because you are so used to being young. You aren't used to being an adult because you've never been one yet. So how can you like it? Understand it? Be okay with it?
Some people are just better at adapting than others. I wasn't one of those people. I was anxious and I was looking for a way to make myself feel better about the whole thing. Cue eating disorder. I don't mean to say that my eating disorder stemmed completely from the fear of growing up, but that fear certainly played a part in my anxiety, in my transitional thinking, and in my eating disorder development.
I think being a kid is (normally) associated with feeling safe. So NOT being a kid often feels like the opposite.
The question then becomes, my friends, WHAT can you do to make you feel safer as you embark upon the journey of growing up? What's going to make you feel better about the whole strange thing?
A few suggestions:
1) Don't let go of childhood completely. Keep something with you/near you that represents comfort to you, whether it be a blanket, a picture, a stuffed animal, a book, a doll, etc. You'd be surprised how the memories and the feelings that go along with that object sink into your subconscious when you look at it/hold it while you're feeling anxious.
2) Talk to someone (or more than one someone!) who represents great adulthood to you. Someone you admire. Someone who is not very far from your own age. For example, if you're 18, maybe someone in their mid to late 20s would be able to make you realize that growing up can be just as good as staying a kid. Seek someone out who embodies positivity... someone who can be a role model... someone you like to be around. Let those encounters/talks/discussions be a guide into the future.
3) Remember that you're not alone. Everyone grows up sometimes. It's not necessarily a fun process, but it doesn't have to be terrible. Ask yourself why you're really afraid. What is it specifically about growing up that makes you so anxious that you want to regress?
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