A Special Voice

The more voices that are devoted to eating disorder recovery, the better. A variety of perspectives is also vital, because every recovery is different and that is something that should constantly be highlighted. That's why I am so pleased to share with you the very unique voice of a very unique individual: Jenn Friedman. 

Jenn Friedman is a dear friend of mine, so it is with as much pride as awe that I share her beautiful new book and album with you. If you read her book, Eating Disorders on the Wire: Music and Metaphor as Pathways to Recovery, you're in for a new and wonderful journey. BUT if you also listen to her breathtaking CD, On the Wire, which accompanies the book, you will never forget the emotions that surface. 

In her book, Jenn describes her personal path through the pain of an eating disorder and soul-enriching recovery, but it's not just another memoir. The music and metaphor you know to expect from the book title really drive home every raw and honest note of life with an eating disorder. In fact, Jenn masterfully shows the reader life AGAINST an eating disorder. The fight in the words, the inward battle portrayed, and the momentum are so evident and so strong.

Although the book and music album can each stand alone, unique and wonderful as separate works of art, it's really as a union that they shine their brightest. The project is a double whammy: written backstory with an emotionally charged soundtrack. 

How do you tell the tale of a woman making her way through the darkness of an eating disorder? Well, Jenn found a way. And it's something that has never been done before.

You can listen to her astounding album right on the web here, but be warned: you won't be happy until you've purchased her CD to travel with you on your own journey. And don't for one second think that you need to have an eating disorder to appreciate Jenn's music. Her well-crafted lyrics can guide any individual through hardship, introspection, and triumph. Never trite, her lyrics are complex when called for and simple when necessary, but so artfully evoke a range of emotions. Listen to the album once and you'll immediately play it again, eager to relive the musical journey and discover new pieces of yourself as you do. 

From start to finish, On the Wire is an experience. You don't just hear it. You don't just listen to it. You FEEL it. And it doesn't get old. It's an experience that keeps giving. Jenn's talents are many: she writes (both the book prose and her own lyrics), she composes and arranges her beautiful songs, she plays the piano, and she sings. To know that such an artist exists is a gift, but to know that she exists within the world of eating disorder recovery is a treasure. 

We all have creativity. Eating disorders attempt to stamp out that creativity. Jenn Friedman allows us to embrace who we are by understanding ourselves through music and metaphor. Her book is her story, but after listening to her music, your own story will take flight. 

Day #26: ED Activist/Sufferer/Survivor Book Review

I'm going to completely blow you away with my book choice today.

I have never been one to throw myself into books by eating disorder activists, sufferers, or survivors. I have read my fair share, back in the days when I was struggling with my own eating disorder and I have written my fair share of self-help stuff as well. I remember playing the comparison game with certain books I read back in the day - mentally trying to assess if I was sicker than the person in the book or not. For me, it was difficult not to compare, not to judge myself. A lot of books I read, though they were written with heart and good intentions, still glamorized the disease. Like, "things were THIS bad" and the focus was so much more on the illness than the GETTING OUT OF IT.

That's why my blog is the way it is. It's to give tools and resources and advice and motivation for the getting OUT. The NOW. Not where I've been or how bad it was. That only serves a purpose for about 5 minutes. And then (I feel) it's important to move on. Because chances are, if you're reading self-help, you already KNOW how bad it is. You're living it. Or you have lived it.

It's that "message from the other side" that is so under-represented in books. I think it's important to show that real resilience and perseverance exist ... and that real recovery exists too. There are a handful of books that have shown this "other side"... but strangely, there is one book that has spoken to me on a level of resiliency, strength, and human spirit and it was NOT written by an eating disorder survivor.

The book is entitled All But My Life and it was written by a truly inspiring woman named Gerda Weissmann Klein. It's a true story, written about Gerda's experience during WWII and the Holocaust. (Don't write it off as the same as other books on the Holocaust you may have read. PLEASE.) She is a Holocaust survivor, not an eating disorder survivor - and I won't for one second try to insinuate that the two are the same. Surviving horrible atrocities and traumas inflicted upon you and others you love is different from surviving an eating disorder. ...BUT not wholly different. How many eating disorder survivors have survived traumas? How many have been inflicted with this horrible disease, not by choice, but by an uncontrollable turn of events, or by an inescapable mental health diagnosis? At some point, there is a choice to be made in recovery from an eating disorder... and if we're talking about surviving the Holocaust, well, that choice may be taken from you. And the magnitude of something as terrible as genocide is just not on the same spectrum as other traumas. So yes, these two things are very, very different. But similar enough that I KNOW the book will speak to your heart if you just pick it up and read it.

The book title refers to the fact that the infamous "they" had taken everything from Gerda... ALL BUT HER LIFE. And her mission became one of brutal simplicity: to survive. By surviving she could keep the one thing they had not yet taken. And how she did this is ASTOUNDING. I do not use the word astounding lightly.

There is so much I want to tell you about this book, but I don't want to ruin for you the beauty of the story. So read it for yourself. It's not long and you won't regret it. (You can find it for $10.85 or less right here on Amazon.com and let me tell you, EVERYWHERE this book is reviewed it gets no less than 5 stars.)

I came across this book at age 19. I will never forget it. It's part of the reason I think positivity and hope have such a place in my work and in my lifestyle. THIS WOMAN, mistreated, traumatized, and dying in more than one horrific concentration camp, organized her friends to PUT ON PLAYS in their barracks... to keep them sane, to spread the tiny drop of joy she knew still existed because she was still ALIVE, to give hope. And you know what? She wasn't even really quite a woman yet. She was 15...16...17...

This is Gerda. She's 88 and still alive. And if you read her book, All But My Life, you'll never forget her and her spirit. And it might just teach you a thing or two about surviving yourself. Because if SHE can do it, you totally can too.

 

By the way, she's more than just an author (as cool as being an author is!). She's also a humanitarian, a historian, and an inspirational speaker. According to Wikipedia, "her powerful message of hope, inspiration, love and humanity" has captivated people worldwide. That is obvious to me. She's a human rights activist, super charitable lady, and also won an Academy Award AND an Emmy for the documentary based on her book and her life.

This is a President Obama awarding her the Presidential Medal of Freedom in 2010.

So, I'll end this unorthodox post with 5 words:

SPIRIT
HOPE
INSPIRATION
FREEDOM
GERDA

Check it out.

The Slender Trap - A Must Read!

I’m excited to share something special with you: a book. More specifically: a workbook. Even more specifically: a food and body workbook. I had the pleasure of reading and reviewing The Slender Trap by Lauren Lazar Stern, MA, ATR-BC, LPC, but the really exciting part is now – when I get to share it with you.

There are so many ways to review a book, and since The Slender Trap is by far the most creative workbook for eating disorders I’ve seen, I’m going to take a more creative approach to reviewing it. Not needing a food and body workbook for my own purposes, I read through The Slender Trap with the intent to share it with you. I took some time and marked my favorite parts and pieces of the workbook… and when I finished there were more than two dozen Post-Its sticking out from the pages. That’s how I know Lauren Lazar Stern has some great stuff to share.

Sharing so many delicious bits and pieces with you would prove lengthy, so I managed to narrow my favorite passages further and hope to mold the review by sharing them.

The first word that pops into my mind when flipping through The Slender Trap is CREATIVE. It’s just so different from other workbooks out there. There is a focus on workbook activities (or exercises)  in a way that doesn’t seem too childish and there is a focus on art that is not intimidating for folks who consider themselves less than artistic. There is A LOT for readers to do in The Slender Trap – so much, in fact, that they really cease to be readers and become participants. And yet – I don’t think it would be daunting to those in recovery, even for those just starting out.

The workbook is comprised of 12 chapters, which are in turns insightful, introspective, practical, and – dare I say it? – fun. I can envision teenagers working through the book, but I can also envision adult women discovering a lot about themselves while “participating.” The beauty of The Slender Trap is that it can be tailored to YOU. The workbook is the fabric, the material. YOU are the tailor.

Furthermore, it’s a book for a wide variety of people – those with anorexia, bulimia, EDNOS, binge eating disorder… as well as those with poor body image and low self-esteem who may have never been officially diagnosed with an eating disorder. It’s a tool to learn about yourself, to work through issues, and to set you on a path to peace with food and body, whatever your specific problems or diagnoses might be.

The chapters are diverse and useful. If one chapter doesn’t speak to your body image or eating disordered issues, other chapters will. By “useful,” I mean to say that the activities are applicable to real life, not just the stuff floating around in your head.

At the end of Chapter Four, entitled “Body Image and Societal Pressure,” the author challenges the reader:

“Dress for yourself, not for your date. Choose an outfit that you like and wear it on your night out. Draw a picture of yourself in that outfit. Write about how it felt to have made your own choice.”

I imagine that some parts of the workbook might seem difficult initially, but sense that the final product the reader churns out with each new exercise might be quite surprising in a positive way. In short, The Slender Trap will really make you think.

In Chapter Five, entitled “Food Traps & Plans,” there is an exercise called The Food Plate. 

It involves both drawing and writing and I personally think it is so…SMART. This exercise in particular made me wish this book had existed back when I was struggling with anorexia. For many, listing food and the contents of meals during recovery can be triggering, unhelpful, anxiety-producing, or all of the above. By drawing each meal on the pages (and plates, cups, etc.) provided, it’s all THERE, but the focus is not on the rigid structure many with eating disorders (especially those with anorexia) are seeking to leave behind. I used to suggest to members of the eating disorder recovery group I lead and to various blog readers and video viewers that taking a photo of their plate before they ate each meal could serve as just as decent a “food log” as keeping a food journal or tracking their intake for family members/treatment teams/nutritionists/etc. This exercise in the workbook is very similar to that concept, which really speaks to me.

An exercise in the same chapter asks the reader to “Draw Your Traps” and there is a convenient picture page to help the process flow. The author instructs,

“In as many traps as you need below, draw what gets in your way of healthy eating. It may be that you feel trapped by your thoughts, fears, or something else. Let your drawing be your guide.”

Farther into the same chapter is a new exercise called Getting Out of My Trap, for which the author instructs, “Now that you’ve drawn and described your traps, it’s time to plan a way to get out.” There are deep boxes on the page in which to draw your strategies. It’s cool.

Another cool page can be found in Chapter Six, entitled “Full of Feelings.” There is an exercise about destroying your scale – but in art form right on the page. I think it’s extremely smart to start out like that; destroying a scale is such a big and scary step for a lot of people. It takes a long time to feel “ready” for that and preparing by destroying it in the workbook is just plain awesome. The exercise is meant to help the reader work through feelings associated with having destroyed the scale.

Finally, in Chapter Nine, entitled “The New Me,” there is an exercise called A Party to Celebrate the New Me and the author writes:

“On the party planner on the next page, organize a party celebrating your hard work. Invite as many guests as you would like. Eat the kind of food that you want. Create the invitation of your dreams. Use your imagination. Remember this celebration is for you.”

How great is that?! 

And these are just a handful of the exercises and challenges The Slender Trap presents. 

I want to tell you so much more about The Slender Trap, but I really want you to get the book – so I’ll leave you here, with your appetite wet, curious about the other 240 pages of fantastic-ness. :)

I want to thank Lauren Lazar Stern for sending me her book and allowing me to share my specific thoughts. For more on Lauren Lazar Stern, visit her website here: http://www.laurenlazarstern.com  You can also find details there about how to purchase the book.

You can also follow her on Twitter: @laurenlazarster

'Full Mouse, Empty Mouse' Earns My Respect

When it came to my attention that there is a fairly recent children's book out there in the world entitled "Full Mouse, Empty Mouse: A Tale of Food and Feelings," I was very interested and couldn't wait to get my hands on it.

At long last, I found the time to order the book and read it. I got choked up at parts.

Now, I don't consider the book overly sentimental. What touched me was the fact that a book actually exists which can so beautifully speak to children on the subject of eating disorders and their own feelings in regards to eating disordered behavior.

The book is by Dina Zeckhausen, who I understand is the founder and exec director of the Eating Disorders Information Network. I applaud her 1) for creating this book 2) for doing so with such sensitivity and care and 3) for including a Note to Parents, Discussion Questions (for parents/caregivers with children), and Resources in the back of the book.

Is "Full Mouse, Empty Mouse" the best book I've ever read? No. Is it meaningful and helpful? Yes.

It's written in rhyming verse, which can seem forced at times (to me anyway, since I have a degree in English and consider myself in tune with this sort of thing), but in general that sort of verse speaks well to kids, so I think its purpose is served. The illustrations (by Brian Boyd) are great. The advice for children is even better.

What I really appreciate is that the book is not gender-biased and does not focus solely on the under-eating/anorexia-like eating disorders. It depicts a boy mouse and a girl mouse who overeat (to deal with negative feelings/situations) and restrict (also to deal with negative feelings/situations) respectively.

There is no mention of purging - but I find that wise. Where it would seek to help some young ones feel less ashamed/less alone, it would seek to make others aware of the possibility of throwing up food, if the idea had not yet occurred to them. It's also not "necessary" in that the book delves into emotions and coping mechanisms in a way that does not discriminate between eating disorders.

"Listen to your body.
It's not too hard to read.
Go inside and you will find
The answers that you need.


To find out what you're feeling,
Here's the place to start:
Understand the language
Of your Tummy and your Heart.


Speak up if you're angry,
Get a hug if you feel scared,
And if you're sad, just cry those tears,
'Cause feelings should be shared!"

I'm impressed. I like the book and I highly recommend it - for kids with eating disorders, for kids without eating disorders, for kids who have displayed some poor coping mechanisms/eating disordered behaviors, and for adults too. As I said, it touched me. I'm so happy someone decided to publish a children's book that rewards the bravery of coming forward with scary feelings, that encourages talking to parents even when it feels hard, that upholds listening to one's body and heart, and that shows that no one who struggles with these things is alone.