A Letter for the Fighters

Dearest YOU,

Maybe you're hurting. Maybe you're numb. I can feel it in your words when I read them in the forums, blogs, Facebook groups, and messages. But your spark is not gone, because I can feel that too. Am I worried? Yes. But am I hopeful? Yes. Always. Why? Because I know you can do this. I know you can beat this thing that for some reason has seen fit to grab hold of you. I know you didn't choose to have an eating disorder, but what's awesome is that you can choose to recover. Be brave, be bold, and make that choice! This world needs you - the whole, beautiful, amazing you...not the hurting, numb, compromised you.

I know you're stronger than your eating disorder. I know you are a fighter. Are you forgetting?

I can't let you forget. I won't let you forget. I can't let you throw away all the progress you've made. You deserve better and recovery is the only "better" there is. Trust me. I know how it is - sometimes a huge part of you wants to just throw in the towel and let the glamorous version of your eating disorder take over. But you are not a quitter. And that glamorous version may scream "You'll be thin!" or "You'll be happy!" or it might spout pleasing numbers at your numbed mind or illustrate pictures of contentment, but it's all fluff. Fallacy.

I've seen what you can accomplish - even from a afar. I've seen what you can do on your own, and with help, and with support. The fact is, you can accomplish a lot and amaze people around you - not by your dwindling physique or your unwavering exercise routine, but by your determination, your true beauty, your intelligence, your passion, your creativity, and your sense of fun.

You have a real sense of fun.

And guess what? It's going to go away. A part of you thinks you'll be happier if you continue down this path of letting the illness and obsession take over... but you're wrong. And I don't want you to find out the hard way.

I know sometimes it all seems like too much. I know sometimes recovery seems too hard, too annoying, too overwhelming, too invasive. And I know that you're screaming inside, "That's not what I want! I want to be thinner! I want to be happier! I want to be in control!' or whatever it is that pesky, devilish voice says to you. But every time you give in to that screaming voice, you're losing a piece of yourself.

And I don't want to see you go.

I'm willing to play hardball and tell you to cut the crap. I'm also willing to love you fiercely and wholly. And you're allowed to vent and rage and cry and freak out. As long as you won't give in to that voice. Deal?

I know it sucks. I know it's hell. But the time to move forward is now. You can do it.

No, you can do it.

NO, you CAN do it.

Okay?

I love you. Now get to work.

Love, Arielle

Body Flaws

Arielle's Word of the Day #26: PURPOSE

Almost 5 years ago, this was the first post on Actively Arielle:

I have started this blog to support eating disorder recovery and to help others along their way. I'm dedicated to contributing something, however small, to those who are in a position I know too well. It's really a blog for others.

I have a lot of writings from over the years--writings from when I was dealing with anorexia--that I'd like to display because they are a voice that can speak to others. I have poetry, dialogues, rants, entries, etc. These will be slowly posted here. I think sharing is important and extremely beneficial. I know that when I was struggling I would have loved to read writings about eating disorders (and all the respective emotions) on someone's blog--someone who I knew recovered. It's about hope. It's about strength. It's about turning tears to words so we all have something to work with, something to go to, and something to feel besides the pain and confusion.

Writing and sharing is a way to showcase the struggles, the battles, and the pain so that we end up coming out on top. I've learned to be actively ME--a me with whom I am happy. I've learned to live a life with which I am content. But to make a new beginning, one must first realize many things about the self, about the goal, and about the tendency to relapse, revisit, and revert to old habits.

Basically, what I'm saying is: I'd like to help.

So, read, comment, and feel free to email. We can help each other.

The blog took off and became an activist and motivational speaker and support group leader and a professional. But before all that, it started just as simply as stated above. That has always been my purpose, here and in life - to turn tears to words, to give hope, to help. I don't plan on stopping any time soon. Actually, ever.

Arielle's Word of the Day #16: BEGINNING

I hope today will be the beginning for some of you. If you're struggling right now or if you haven't yet fully chosen recovery, this is for you.

For Those in the Depths of Despair (it's more than a year old, but it's just as true today as it was then... and maybe, just maybe, it will mark a new beginning for some of you...if you let it).

Day #29: This is my Song...

There have been many songs over the years that have spoken to me on a deep level. There is actually a playlist I share that I feel is helpful, uplifting, consoling, and hopeful. You can find it in one of my header tabs, Arielle's Recovery Music Playlist. I'd love to tell you what each of those songs means to me, but I'd rather have you find out what they can mean to you. That's the beauty of songs - they are open to interpretation, they can express different things for different people, and they have the power to help us in an almost spiritual way. I will, however, talk about 2 here that have been very important for me.

The first is Watershed by the Indigo Girls. I have taken the liberty of highlighting the lyrics that I find most important.

Thought I knew my mind like the back of my hand,
The gold and the rainbow, but nothing panned out as I planned.
And they say only milk and honey's gonna make your soul satisfied!
Well I better learn how to swim
Cause the crossing is chilly and wide.
Twisted guardrail on the highway, broken glass on the cement
A ghost of someone's tragedy
How recklessly my time has been spent.
And they say that it's never too late, but you don't get any younger!
Well I better learn how to starve the emptiness
And feed the hunger

Up on the watershed, standing at the fork in the road
You can stand there and agonize
Till your agony's your heaviest load.
You'll never fly as the crow flies, get used to a country mile.
When you're learning to face the path at your pace
Every choice is worth your while.

Well there's always retrospect to light a clearer path
Every five years or so I look back on my life
And I have a good laugh.
You start at the top, go full circle round
Catch a breeze, take a spill
But ending up where i started again makes me wanna stand still.

Up on the watershed, standing at the fork in the road
You can stand there and agonize
Till your agony's your heaviest load.
You'll never fly as the crow flies, get used to a country mile.
When you're learning to face the path at your pace
Every choice is worth your while.

Stepping on a crack, breaking up and looking back
Every tree limb overhead just seems to sit and wait.
Until every step you take becomes a twist of fate.

Up on the watershed, standing at the fork in the road
You can stand there and agonize
Till your agony's your heaviest load.
You'll never fly as the crow flies, get used to a country mile.
When you're learning to face the path at your pace
Every choice is worth your while.

Based on my liberal highlighting, you can see that I think a  lot of the song is important. And when you hear it with the music and the natural, raw voices of the Indigo Girls... well, you'll just feel every word even more. I could sit here and try to explain, piece for piece, why I like this song so much, how it relates to my own personal journey, and what it means for me... but I feel like it would be an insult to your intelligence. You can read it, you can feel it as I do, and you can understand.

The second song is What I Cannot Change by LeAnn Rimes. I have again taken the liberty of highlighting the lyrics that I found to be most important, and I have also crossed out the parts that allowed the song to make sense to my personal life.

I know what makes me comfortable
I know what makes me tick
And when I need to get my way I know how to pour it on thick
Cream and sugar in my coffee
Right away when I awake
I face the day and pray to God I won't make the same mistakes
Oh the rest is out of my hands

I will learn to let go what I cannot change
I will learn to forgive what I cannot change
I will learn to love what I cannot change
But I will change, I will change
Whatever I, whenever I can
I don't know my Father
Or my Mother well enough
Seems like every time we talk we can't get past the little stuff
The pain is self inflicted
I know it's not good for my health
But it's easier to please the world than it is to please myself
Oh the rest is out of my hands

I will learn to let go what I cannot change
I will learn to forgive what I cannot change
I will learn to love what I cannot change
But I will change, I will change
Whatever I, whenever I can
Right now I can't care about how everyone else will feel
I have enough hurt of my own to heal

I will learn to let go what I cannot change
I will learn to forgive what I cannot change
I will learn to love what I cannot change
But I will change, I will change
Whatever I, whenever I can

 

So many things in my life have seemed unfortunate, unfair, upsetting, out of my control... I have had to learn to let go what I cannot change, even learn to forgive some things I cannot change, especially as they have related to my father. But I have also learned that I will change whatever I CAN. And that is a very important less to take away from this. Change is such a scary, powerful word. It can be powerful in a bad way, but also in a good way. You get to decide what to do with the stuff that can be changed... and as difficult as it often is, you can make the choice to let go of the stuff that is out of your hands. Doing these 2 things - letting go what I can't change and changing what I can - has made me a happier person.

 

Day #26: ED Activist/Sufferer/Survivor Book Review

I'm going to completely blow you away with my book choice today.

I have never been one to throw myself into books by eating disorder activists, sufferers, or survivors. I have read my fair share, back in the days when I was struggling with my own eating disorder and I have written my fair share of self-help stuff as well. I remember playing the comparison game with certain books I read back in the day - mentally trying to assess if I was sicker than the person in the book or not. For me, it was difficult not to compare, not to judge myself. A lot of books I read, though they were written with heart and good intentions, still glamorized the disease. Like, "things were THIS bad" and the focus was so much more on the illness than the GETTING OUT OF IT.

That's why my blog is the way it is. It's to give tools and resources and advice and motivation for the getting OUT. The NOW. Not where I've been or how bad it was. That only serves a purpose for about 5 minutes. And then (I feel) it's important to move on. Because chances are, if you're reading self-help, you already KNOW how bad it is. You're living it. Or you have lived it.

It's that "message from the other side" that is so under-represented in books. I think it's important to show that real resilience and perseverance exist ... and that real recovery exists too. There are a handful of books that have shown this "other side"... but strangely, there is one book that has spoken to me on a level of resiliency, strength, and human spirit and it was NOT written by an eating disorder survivor.

The book is entitled All But My Life and it was written by a truly inspiring woman named Gerda Weissmann Klein. It's a true story, written about Gerda's experience during WWII and the Holocaust. (Don't write it off as the same as other books on the Holocaust you may have read. PLEASE.) She is a Holocaust survivor, not an eating disorder survivor - and I won't for one second try to insinuate that the two are the same. Surviving horrible atrocities and traumas inflicted upon you and others you love is different from surviving an eating disorder. ...BUT not wholly different. How many eating disorder survivors have survived traumas? How many have been inflicted with this horrible disease, not by choice, but by an uncontrollable turn of events, or by an inescapable mental health diagnosis? At some point, there is a choice to be made in recovery from an eating disorder... and if we're talking about surviving the Holocaust, well, that choice may be taken from you. And the magnitude of something as terrible as genocide is just not on the same spectrum as other traumas. So yes, these two things are very, very different. But similar enough that I KNOW the book will speak to your heart if you just pick it up and read it.

The book title refers to the fact that the infamous "they" had taken everything from Gerda... ALL BUT HER LIFE. And her mission became one of brutal simplicity: to survive. By surviving she could keep the one thing they had not yet taken. And how she did this is ASTOUNDING. I do not use the word astounding lightly.

There is so much I want to tell you about this book, but I don't want to ruin for you the beauty of the story. So read it for yourself. It's not long and you won't regret it. (You can find it for $10.85 or less right here on Amazon.com and let me tell you, EVERYWHERE this book is reviewed it gets no less than 5 stars.)

I came across this book at age 19. I will never forget it. It's part of the reason I think positivity and hope have such a place in my work and in my lifestyle. THIS WOMAN, mistreated, traumatized, and dying in more than one horrific concentration camp, organized her friends to PUT ON PLAYS in their barracks... to keep them sane, to spread the tiny drop of joy she knew still existed because she was still ALIVE, to give hope. And you know what? She wasn't even really quite a woman yet. She was 15...16...17...

This is Gerda. She's 88 and still alive. And if you read her book, All But My Life, you'll never forget her and her spirit. And it might just teach you a thing or two about surviving yourself. Because if SHE can do it, you totally can too.

 

By the way, she's more than just an author (as cool as being an author is!). She's also a humanitarian, a historian, and an inspirational speaker. According to Wikipedia, "her powerful message of hope, inspiration, love and humanity" has captivated people worldwide. That is obvious to me. She's a human rights activist, super charitable lady, and also won an Academy Award AND an Emmy for the documentary based on her book and her life.

This is a President Obama awarding her the Presidential Medal of Freedom in 2010.

So, I'll end this unorthodox post with 5 words:

SPIRIT
HOPE
INSPIRATION
FREEDOM
GERDA

Check it out.

Day #1: I Write About Eating Disorders Because...

...because eating disorder recovery, advocacy, and activism is My Life's Work (and I'm not joking when I say that)...because I believe that Hope is where healing begins...because I love to share and teach and HELP.

While I may have a unique understanding as a recovered individual, I can also offer a professional perspective from a social work standpoint as well as that of an ANAD Support Group Leader, ANAD Resource Person, and speaker. I mold all of those together for my work as an Eating Disorder Recovery Blogger...and that work, though unpaid and on the web, is very important to me. Part of my blogging style is to post regular videos on specific eating disorder topics, because I recognize the impact of seeing the face (and hearing the voice) behind the words. I'm passionate and I'm passionate about showing my passion!

 I write about eating disorders because for me, every week is Eating Disorder Awareness Week. I want to give voice to pain, stigma, problems, hope, solutions, fear, education, encouragement, and celebration. I want to be a voice for those who are not able to use their own. I want to be a voice in order to show others what they can do to use theirs! Being a leader in this area is vital and fills my life with purpose. I write about eating disorders because I care about you, about the ones you love, about the society and the world at large.

I write about eating disorders because THERE IS A NEED.

I don't write for me. I write for YOU.

Voices of Recovery

I'm excited to share with you some special voices. I am privileged  to know a few fantastic fellow bloggers who are recovered. I don't like to imply that there is some hierarchy of recovery in which those who consider themselves fully recovered are better than those who are not. I just like to show people out there who are struggling or who are still fighting their way through recovery that full recovery is completely possible and real.

Therefore, I'd like to do a series of "interviews" with a variety of fellow bloggers. Some are dear friends of mine, others are new friends, and others are what I'd call colleague friends. My goal is to showcase people who are writing about recovery and are healthy and well themselves. You know me - I want to spread positivity and GOOD messages. Some of the questions I ask each recovery blogger will be different from those I ask the other bloggers, and some will be the same. You may find that you know some of the bloggers. Perhaps you already read their blogs or are familiar with their stories. Others may be new to you.

In a nutshell, I like to show people that I'm not the only recovered lady out there using my voice. Sometimes I think people think I'm like 1 in a million or something. So please stay tuned. 2 interviews are fully finished and 2 more are in the works. I hope to share the first blogger with you next week.

Thought You Might Like to Know...

that other people feel as I do! :)

These Letters to the Editor were published in the NY Times, in response to the article I discussed in my previous post. Rock on, recovery warriors. Click to read the published responses.

And thank you for all the wonderful and positive feedback I received regarding my own response to the detrimental article. I appreciate it so much!

HOPE for Recovery! Take THAT, NY Times!

Kat over at Recovering Inspirings asked me to do a guest post in response to last week's NY Times article, which had a distinctly negative slant on eating disorder recovery. Some amazing people were interviewed for the NY Times article, and yet after reading I was emotional and angry, and so were MANY others. Recovery is real! Here's what I have to say in a nutshell and you can find it over at the collaborative blog - Hope, Truth, and Possibility {{Guest Post}}

Please check it out, take heart, and have hope!

Friendship, Eating Disorders, and Everyone's Right to Lead a Life

I received a message about something I think can be very helpful to many who are in recovery from eating disorders. I'd like to share with you the question (asking for advice) and my response, in the hope that it will give some clarity to others who are dealing with the same dilemma. I know it's a rather long post, but if you read it through to the end, I think you'll find it worth the time.

---"My best friend of 15 years (after ignoring me for a few months) decided to call me up last week and basically list out everything I've done wrong in the relationship over the past 15 years and how I've pretty much been a terrible friend this whole time. Furthermore, she seems to be putting some kind of condition on our friendship in terms of my eating disorder. She claims that I fail to take personal responsibility for it and that she can't handle all of the 'back and forth' (meaning relapses), that she doesn't like to see or hear from me when I'm not doing well, and that we basically can't be friends unless I can guarantee that I'll never be symptomatic or sick again. To an extent I can kind of see where she is coming from because I am sure it's not easy to watch a friend self destruct especially when it seems like they are doing it on purpose. I tried to explain it to her, but she didn't want to hear it. She's had 'enough.' I also tried to explain that I'm doing fairly well at the moment and the kind of progress I've made over the past few months (when she was ignoring my calls), to which she responded, 'yea, well, I don't know how long that's going to last.'


It seems like no matter what I do I can't win! Perhaps I'm too close to the situation and I'm not seeing it clearly (which is why I'm interested to know what you think) but to me this seems like an awfully conditional type of friendship, not to mention an impossible, unrealistic promise for me to make. She sent me this 'holier than thou' sounding e-mail about how she took personal responsibility for her life and how I never take any personal responsibility for mine. She and I were like peanut butter and jelly growing up and it would be devastating for this friendship to end, but I almost don't want to be friends with her anymore. I feel like friends are supposed to accept the good and the bad parts of each other, not just the parts they like. As you know, EDs are complex, especially if you've been dealing with one since childhood like I have. It takes a lot of work to fully conquer an ED and even to find a knowledgeable therapist who is a good 'fit.' I realize that when I engage in unhealthy behaviors I am making a choice to do so, but it's not as though I'm not also attempting to do other things to try and help myself.


Sorry this is so long, but what I am asking you is, do you agree with me when I say I think she's being unfair and unreasonable or is there something I'm missing? All of her e-mails (because she doesn't want to see or talk to me) have this condescending edge to them that make me feel like crap. I'd hate to let this friendship go, but at the same time hearing from her just makes me feel bad about myself and I don't think I should have to 'explain' my eating disorder to her or submit to this condition she is putting on the relationship. It's not like I anticipate or look forward to a relapse or anything, but I'm doubly stressed out now because I feel like I can't ever mess up again or else I'll ruin the relationship. I feel like friendship is supposed to make you feel good, not afraid of the other person's judgment. What are your thoughts? Should I go with my gut and just let go of this friendship?"---



Based on what you wrote, it does sound like your friend is being unreasonable. There is definitely a difference between watching someone purposely self-destruct and supporting someone who struggles in recovery. It is very hard for a lot of people to understand eating disorders and recovery (from anything) in general. For those who have not been through something similar, there is often a very black and white attitude. It may be easier for her to see things as all or nothing (meaning you get better and stay that way and she stays your friend or she’s done with you) because of her own feelings in regards to your circumstances.

We can’t make people understand what eating disorders are like – all we can do is explain them to the best of our ability and hope we get the support we need from those in our lives. You might want to ask yourself if she has been put through a lot in regards to your eating disorder. If she feels like the friendship has been a roller-coaster ride, she might feel emotionally unable to continue with it if there is still possibility for you to slip-up in the future. Put yourself in her shoes for a minute and see it from a different angle: it’s really hard to go through ups and downs over and over again, if it seems like the same things continue to happen. It’s emotionally draining and she may just not have it in her to deal with it any longer. That is her right. If she is saying what she is saying, it might be a form of self-care on her own part.

That said, it sounds like she expects unrealistic outcomes from you and your recovery. Even if she is unable to be a support to you any longer and must put herself first because she can’t keep going through it, it doesn’t mean you are doing anything wrong and it doesn’t mean you aren’t trying hard enough.

If you were struggling and refused care, purposely sabotaged your recovery on a daily basis, or refused to listen to words of support and encouragement, it would be different. But if you are trying in recovery, putting forth effort, but having the normal slips and falls that anyone encounters along the way, it’s not as though you are putting your fingers in your ears and shutting every positive thing out.

You can and should ask yourself if you are doing all you can in recovery right now. If the answer is no, perhaps some of your defensive feelings lie in that. But regardless, a friend should not ask you to promise you will never have another bad time ever again in regards to your eating disorder. Your recovery in many ways is completely within your own control, but all things in your LIFE are not. No one can promise anything of such magnitude and friendship should not be based on ultimatums.

If the situation were different and you were plummeting day after day, farther and farther into your disorder and she told you to go get treatment or she could no longer be your friend, that is more of an interventionist tactic and is an ultimatum I could understand. But to expect you never to need support again through rough patches is unfair.

Again, if she feels as she feels, it’s her right. Not everyone can handle life with someone who is in recovery from an eating disorder. She cannot be faulted for that. BUT her feeling the way she does is not YOUR fault either.

Think of this example – if there is a husband and wife who have been together for years, enjoying good times and loving each other, and the man becomes an alcoholic, this will be difficult for the woman to handle. She may love him and support him as he struggles with the day-to-day issues. He may get help. She may continue to love him and be there for him. Perhaps he does well in recovery for a time. Then he relapses. This is even harder for the woman to handle. It affects her life too. He doesn’t want to be an alcoholic though, and is always trying to pull himself back up. He tries recovery again, does well, but has bad days. Sometimes he slips up. Every time, it’s harder and harder on his wife. Finally, after years of this – even though she knows he is trying to leave his alcoholism behind, she can’t endure it anymore. She wants him to promise he will never falter again or she must leave. He can’t make that promise because he is afraid of breaking it. All he can do is try his very best day by day and ask for her support. She does not have it in her to continue the marriage, because she has her own life to live and her own emotions with which to contend. She leaves him.

Neither of the people in this situation are at fault. One has a serious problem, but is ever working at recovery. One has love and support, but only to a certain point, and eventually must put herself first because it has gotten too hard. The husband has every right to say that all he can do is try his best and work at recovery every day, because he does not want to be an alcoholic. The wife has every right to say she cannot deal with his alcoholism anymore. It’s a crossroads.

Think of this story as your situation. The roles are essentially the same. Maybe the friendship has come to a close. Maybe in time, she will see your changes and understand that all you can do is take one day at a time, and will come back into your life. Maybe she will take a breathing period away from the friendship and come back with renewed hope, more reasonable expectations, and recharged stamina.

I’m sorry this is happening, especially because recovery is hard enough without losing a friend in the process, but you can only take each day as it comes and work with it. Self reflect, and whatever happens, understand that as long as you choose recovery every day, you are doing the most important thing. Whatever your friend does and thinks and feels is essentially out of your control. You can hope and talk and explain, but in the end, she can make a decision based on her own needs, and she should.

You may even feel relief if the friendship tapers off as it doesn’t sound like she is able to support you like a best friend would and should.



Good luck!

Possible Today and Every Day

I posted this for the first time in October of 2007. It was one of the first things I wrote on this now popular blog. I called it "Possible."

Consider it a mantra, a proclamation, or just...hope.

Recovery is possible.
It's not a guarantee. It's a possibility. It's not simple. It is difficult and sometimes seems impossible. It's not a one-step process. It's a multi-step process complete with twists and turns and bending roads...and roads you didn't even know were there. It's not the same for everyone. It's not always a happy process. It's not always a sad process. It IS empowering. It's not about pleasing other people. It is not about them. It's about YOU. It's not about perfection. It IS about emotion. It IS about honesty. It IS about self-discovery and self-affirmation. It's not about what you don't have. It's about using what you've got. It's not about hiding. It's about finding and displaying. It's not a quick-fix. It's a lifelong plan set into motion by truth and nurturing and self-love. It's not about external factors or environment. It IS about what's within. It is not crazy. It IS real.
Recovery is possible.

You Can Now Follow

You can still "friend" me on Facebook personally via the icon to your left in my sidebar, where you will most certainly get random updates and eating disorder info in addition to all the notifications of my thrilling personal life. :)

BUT you can now follow MY BLOG via Facebook. It has its own page and you will get all the updates through Facebook there if you so choose. Link just below. Click and you'll be taken there to follow through your Facebook account. :)


Follow Actively Arielle: A Voice with a Commitment on Facebook now.

What Gives You Hope?

In this life, in this stage of wanting recovery, or of being in recovery, what gives you hope?

Perhaps it's a large goal, like wanting to have a child one day.

Perhaps it's a smaller idea, like being able to truly be yourself around a particular friend.

Hell, it could even be a soothing cup of tea late at night, when you're snuggling into your sofa, reveling in the time to yourself at the end of a long day and feel at peace.

Today, I'm not talking about plans you have to make or concepts you need to manage in order to keep going. I'm talking about hope. Pure, simple, unique-to-everyone hope.

What gives you hope? For the future? For each day as it stands alone?

Figure out what gives you hope. And if you can't think of something, you're not trying hard enough.

You may not have a support system. Your family maybe hurting your recovery rather than helping it. You may have been abused or bullied or treated unfairly. You may feel completely alone. You may be sick. You may be tired. You may be busy beyond belief.

But there is always hope. It's up to you to find it. I promise you, no matter how bleak things seem, the hope is there. It may be a tiny sliver barley showing itself... but it is there. And if you don't find it and hold it close, you're only keeping yourself in the dark.

Move towards the light, people! Grab the hope.

Show & Tell: "Hope"

Here is the third piece of artwork in my Calling All Art! Show & Tell and Giveaway. This piece is by Jonny and is called "Hope."

[click for a larger view]

This graphic arts piece speaks for itself.


Well done, Jonny! I love the color of this piece, because it really does give a feeling of hope. The words are well chosen, the background is peaceful, and the face of the girl in the piece isn't really sad... it's expectant. Something better is coming. It's on the way. That's what this artwork says. I especially love that the largest words in the piece are "Love Yourself." Great message. This is very different, very serene, very HOPEful. Thank you, Jonny, for sharing your artwork with us. Look for it on the sidebar of my blog for the next month and consider yourself entered in the Giveaway! :)


If you'd like to enter the Giveaway and have your artwork displayed here, just click here for the instructions. I will accept artwork until the end of November. I can't wait to see all of your art!

Calling All Art! I’m Having a Giveaway!

Are you an artist? Do you doodle to get your feelings onto paper? Maybe you draw in the margins of your notebook in class. Maybe you paint murals. Maybe you’re just trying to find an outlet for your emotions. Whatever the case, if you’d like your artwork displayed on my blog, here’s what you can do:

If you’ve created some form of art, whether it be a sketch, a painting, a sculpture, etc. and you’d like to share it with the eating disorder recovery community via my blog, I’d love to help you show it. Send me a picture of your artwork via email (arielle.becker@gmail.com) with a few sentences about what your art represents or what you are trying to portray with it.

I’ll post one piece of artwork per week, including your name and your words about the piece, along with my own thoughts. (I don’t consider myself an art critic by any means, but I am an artist and I am in the ED recovery world!) I’ll also add a photo of your piece (along with your name of course) to my sidebar so that throughout the month it can be easily viewed even as my posts continue.

So, if you participate, you get a post about your art AND your art displayed on my sidebar for a month. Everyone wins. :) BUT, by the end of November, I’m going to choose one person who will get 4 Love Your Body postcards, from the Love Your Body campaign AND this awesome water bottle from NEDA. (It says "Be kind to your body.")

The awesome thing about the postcards is that they have original artwork on each of them, so if you like art that symbolizes eating disorder recovery and/or loving your body, this is pretty cool. Have a look:

You can save 'em, send 'em, or tack them up as art.

(Sorry I'm not giving away much, guys, but I promise this won't be my last Giveaway.)

The stipulations:

* Make sure in your email to me you list your name as you wish it to be displayed. That means if you’d like to be credited with your full name, give me your full name. If you’d like to be credited with a username only, please specify that and list the username. If you’d like to be credited with just your first name, again, specify that and tell me what it is. If you’d like to be recognized as anonymous, just let me know.

* Make sure your art represents RECOVERY, not just an eating disorder. I don’t want to post ANYTHING on this site that could be mistaken for pro-ana or be seen as a representation of someone wallowing in the disease. That means NO art depicting ultra-thin bodies, skeletons, bones, or anything that shows self-injury, blood, etc. I fully understand that art often shows the pain the artist is experiencing, and I’m all for art therapy, but that’s for you personally, to be for your eyes and not the eyes of all readers. My readers are extremely important to me, and so is their safety and well-being. I don’t want anyone coming to this site and feeling triggered or unsafe in any way.

* So that means the goal is to show RECOVERY... a transformation, a change, growing self-love. Show HOPE. That doesn’t mean you it has to be all rainbows and daisies, people...and that doesn't mean it can’t depict a struggle, because we all know recovery can be a struggle, but please make sure that struggle is headed in the right direction. :)

See, guys, it’s a challenge. :) And that (along with me wanting to see your great art and share it with everyone!) is really the purpose here.

So, hit me with your art, past or present, and get ready for Show and Tell!

Appreciate Today

Appreciate today. Appreciate life. If it's a fleeting moment in which you can appreciate the world around you, then so be it. At least it's something.

Don't let external factors bring you down. There is always something to appreciate in this life. Whether it be the beauty of a sunny day, spending time laughing with family, or talking for hours to a good friend, there is something to appreciate today.

Look for it. Find it. Embrace it.

Sometimes it's just a matter of realizing that there is some good floating around you. Open your eyes. Accept the bad, but don't forget about the good.

Appreciate today. You only get to live today once.

Artifacts by Arielle

I have a little side business--an artistic jewelry business--called Artifacts by Arielle.

I've started creating "Recovery Jewelry" for eating disorders.

There are currently only 13 items up for sale on my merchant website, but I hope to add more this week and continue to add more items as I create them.

The descriptions and extra photos on the website say more, but here's a sample:



You can find more here: Artifacts by Arielle The first category at the bottom of the main page is "Recovery Jewelry."

I have a message and I'm trying to spread it. A reminder you can wear is always a good thing.
Sending love to all.

Hope

What I'm about to say is pretty much the whole point of my blog...but at the same time, I don't flat-out say it enough:

Recovery is possible.

On a daily basis, I think my heart breaks a little for all the girls and women out there (and boys and men too) who are struggling with eating disorders. I think I'd be in pieces if I wasn't able to turn my breaking heart into a force of positivity and support. I know so many wonderful people suffering from a disease they wish to control. I know so many beautiful people who don't see their own beauty. I know so many people who have so much to offer the world, but are at a loss when it comes to helping themselves.

I've been there. I stared anorexia in the face and it took me over for a while...until I decided to bite back and take my life into my own hands instead of passing it off to an illness that would have been only too happy to kill me. I know that's putting it simply. It's not an easy process and sometimes it gets more difficult instead of the other way around.

I get countless emails from people who have been touched (and by touched, I mean slammed) by an eating disorder. I ache to heal them, but know that it's not up to me. All I can offer is my support and my encouragement that it can be done. Recovery is possible.

At times, I feel like a little fairy who just spouts happy words of positivity and shows people the good in life like nothing bad ever happens--at least that's what I feel people must think of me at times.

In reality, I'm not a fairy and I'm not preachy. What I say and do is all about one word: HOPE.

I want to give hope.

That sentence above could have been something entirely different a few years ago. Change the last word and it would have been my state of mind: I want to give up.

That's no longer the case, obviously, but that journey from wanting to give up to wanting to give hope had a lot of stops in between. I wanted to get better. I wanted to get real. I wanted to get heard. I wanted to get a life. I wanted to get OUT. And when I did...when I did all of those things...I wanted to give hope.

Because it's not a fun journey, even though from time to time it has its little benefits and its little joys. A good trick is to make a celebration out of everything that could be uncomfortable or unsettling. You don't fit into your clothes anymore? Donate 'em! Call your nearest and dearest and have fun cutting a few choice pieces up and throwing the shreds like confetti! Take your mother or your sister or your best friend and head to your favorite and buy some new things that make you feel good! A little moral support can go a long way.

When things are too much, there is always hope. Hope is there and it will wait if you want to put it away until tomorrow when you have more energy. Hope is everlasting. Hope is the balm that can get you from one day to the next. And because hope is possible, recovery also is possible.

Letter to All

There are times when I feel there is so much I have to say and there’s just not enough time in the day to say it all. There are times when I feel no words can adequately express what is my heart. There are times when I remember the life I used to lead and am overcome with the deepest of desires to help. To reach out. To give back. To support. To explain. To send love.

You are out there. And we’ve never met, but I truly think about you often in my daily life. When I am at the grocery store, I wonder about you. When I am in my kitchen, preparing dinner, I wonder about you. When I am going to sleep at night, I wonder about you. When I am looking in the mirror, I wonder about you. You are very important to me.

I am not here to rescue or to save, but I do hope that I can help even in the smallest of ways. I have to admit that I feel a strong sense of duty (no, that’s not exactly the right word…maybe a calling is better) to share and help and support. I don’t mean this in an arrogant, self-righteous kind of way. I just mean that I can say with complete honesty that I have come a long way and I know I can give a sense of understanding and a positive outlook. Clearly, I am not perfect and I will never pretend to be. I do hope, however, that by telling you I was once in a terrible, low, unhealthy place and am now free and happy, I can give something. Something. Whatever that “something” may be.

In a strange way, I feel as though I went through my eating disorder partly for a reason: so that I could help others. So I could mold that experience into something new and positive. So I could bend it into something else that I could be proud of. I can’t seem to shake this concept. It always feels true. I came out of my whole horrid nightmare with a pure clarity—a really good understanding of what I had experienced and had struggled with and had overcome.

It is very fulfilling for me to give even the tiniest glimmer of hope to others that there is life after an eating disorder. It is very meaningful for me to be able to read all your wonderful, strong, and spirited responses and emails.

I think you are all incredible and fantastically beautiful. I just wanted you to know.

All my love,
Arielle