Your Strengths

Arielle Gets to the Heart of the Matter

If you have a minute and a half to spare and you struggle with body image, this video is for you.

Recovery Starts with You

Take it to heart.

A Letter for the Fighters

Dearest YOU,

Maybe you're hurting. Maybe you're numb. I can feel it in your words when I read them in the forums, blogs, Facebook groups, and messages. But your spark is not gone, because I can feel that too. Am I worried? Yes. But am I hopeful? Yes. Always. Why? Because I know you can do this. I know you can beat this thing that for some reason has seen fit to grab hold of you. I know you didn't choose to have an eating disorder, but what's awesome is that you can choose to recover. Be brave, be bold, and make that choice! This world needs you - the whole, beautiful, amazing you...not the hurting, numb, compromised you.

I know you're stronger than your eating disorder. I know you are a fighter. Are you forgetting?

I can't let you forget. I won't let you forget. I can't let you throw away all the progress you've made. You deserve better and recovery is the only "better" there is. Trust me. I know how it is - sometimes a huge part of you wants to just throw in the towel and let the glamorous version of your eating disorder take over. But you are not a quitter. And that glamorous version may scream "You'll be thin!" or "You'll be happy!" or it might spout pleasing numbers at your numbed mind or illustrate pictures of contentment, but it's all fluff. Fallacy.

I've seen what you can accomplish - even from a afar. I've seen what you can do on your own, and with help, and with support. The fact is, you can accomplish a lot and amaze people around you - not by your dwindling physique or your unwavering exercise routine, but by your determination, your true beauty, your intelligence, your passion, your creativity, and your sense of fun.

You have a real sense of fun.

And guess what? It's going to go away. A part of you thinks you'll be happier if you continue down this path of letting the illness and obsession take over... but you're wrong. And I don't want you to find out the hard way.

I know sometimes it all seems like too much. I know sometimes recovery seems too hard, too annoying, too overwhelming, too invasive. And I know that you're screaming inside, "That's not what I want! I want to be thinner! I want to be happier! I want to be in control!' or whatever it is that pesky, devilish voice says to you. But every time you give in to that screaming voice, you're losing a piece of yourself.

And I don't want to see you go.

I'm willing to play hardball and tell you to cut the crap. I'm also willing to love you fiercely and wholly. And you're allowed to vent and rage and cry and freak out. As long as you won't give in to that voice. Deal?

I know it sucks. I know it's hell. But the time to move forward is now. You can do it.

No, you can do it.

NO, you CAN do it.

Okay?

I love you. Now get to work.

Love, Arielle

You're Invited to a Celebration!

Need a pick-me-up? This quick, bonus video might be just the thing for today:

A Little Reminder

For those of you who need a reminder:

MORE About Who You Are and Can Be!

Self-Imposed Limitations

A new 4 week rotation has begun!

This week, I'm talking about how to be true to yourself despite...life circumstances, what other people say/do, your own limitations (legit ones, not self-imposed ones), etc. I'm also talking about how this plays into making goals, achieving dreams, and feeling authentic. "Instead of saying I Wish, Say I Will" - that kind of learned mentality.

Day #11: I want you to understand that...

I could write a letter to society at large...or to parents of those with eating disorders...or to professionals who deal with those with eating disorders...or to magazine editors...or treatment center staff...

But instead, I'd really like to write to YOU. I'd really like to write to those WITH eating disorders. The ones who are struggling...who haven't yet chosen recovery...or the ones who have finally decided to make that leap, but are afraid...or the ones who have been at recovery for so long it's become a big mountain they are growing tired of climbing...

Because...

I want you to understand that...

Recovery is possible.

It's not a guarantee. It's a possibility.

It's not simple. It is difficult and sometimes seems impossible.

It's not a one-step process. It's a multi-step process complete with twists and turns and bending roads...and roads you didn't even know were there.

It's not the same for everyone.

It's not always a happy process. It's not always a sad process.

It IS empowering.

It's not about pleasing other people. It is not about them.

It's about YOU.

It's not about perfection. It IS about emotion. It IS about honesty. It IS about self-discovery and self-affirmation.

It's not about what you don't have. It's about using what you've got.

It's not about hiding. It's about finding and displaying.

It's not a quick-fix. It's a lifelong plan set into motion by truth and nurturing and self-love.

It's not about external factors or environment. It IS about what's within.

It is not crazy. It IS real.

Recovery is possible.

The length of time isn't what's important. It can take 3 years or 30 years. The goal is to get to the point where you can say, “I'm free” and mean it. Don't give yourself a deadline. Don't beat yourself up for slip-ups. Just. keep. trying.

I've said it many times before and I'll say it again: being "recovered" isn't about always being happy 100% of the time—it's about knowing what to do when you're not.

No matter how many cons it might feel like there are to your leaving your eating disorder behind, one big pro outweighs them all: you getting better, you feeling better, you learning to live life again.

Put more faith in yourself than in your eating disorder. Don’t underestimate your power to move forward and stay there. It all starts with you.

There's a 4 minute video I made that I like to share when I think people need it most. Do you need it today?

For more of Arielle's Letters to YOU from over the years, go here: Arielle's Letters to YOU.
And keep fighting...because, in short, I want you to understand that...recovery is possible.

It's All About You

You'll have to excuse the lull in posts recently. My dear grandfather passed away the week before Christmas. I hope all of you had a wonderful holiday and were able to cope with any problems, triggers, and/or circumstances that came your way. I thought some of you might be feeling down, or overwhelmed, or anxious, or all three. So...

Write yourself a letter. Don't over-think. Don't over-analyze. Don't DO anything but write. Talk to yourself. There is only one rule: do not use any negative words (i.e. fat, ugly, stupid, bad, etc.). Speak to yourself as you would to a little girl who had been crying because she was so desperate and upset that she didn't know what to do or where to turn.

If you would like to share with me, I will post your Letter to Yourself here. Sometimes seeing your own words in print somewhere other than where you put them is an embodiment of strength. arielle.becker@gmail.com

And of course, I will first share with all of you.

Arielle,

What can I best do to comfort you? Come here. Lay your head down on my lap and let me tell you what a good girl you are. Cry if you need to; I won't ask you to stop. Sometimes crying helps get out the bad to make room for the good. If you want to hold my hand, I will leave it out and open and ready for your grasp. Breathe, Arielle. Let it all out. Make room for the good. It will be okay. You have so much power inside you. You have the power to make everything okay. I will help you. You don't even have to ask. If you want to be silent, I will wait with you and our hearts can be the only sounds in the stillness. If you want to talk, I will listen. Relax, Arielle. Lean against me. You don't have to hold yourself up right now. Rest against me. Get warm. Feel loved. Don't worry. Don't be afraid. I'm right here and I'm not leaving. I'll take you anywhere you want to go.

Arielle