A Brand New Motivational Mash-Up for EDAW

EDAW continues... and here is a brand new Motivational Mash-Up, much like the 11 before it, in case you need a boost. :-)

ENDING Distorted or Bad Thoughts

Distorted thoughts can sometimes be harder to eliminate than actual behaviors. This week, I answer the question "How do you let go of them when you are already behavior free, at a healthy weight but your negative thoughts and fears are still in your mind?" In this video, I detail a 3 step process for ending distorted or negative thoughts. 

What Could Make Your Morning Brighter?

In search of the perfect coffee or tea mug? Check out a bunch of Arielle's Recovery Cats. Their simple and positive outlooks will keep you smiling each morning. :-)

All mugs can be found here at the print shop: Ceramic Mugs

If you buy a mug and take your picture with it, I'll post it! :-)

Positive Changes

Be the Change

My shortest video EVER. It's only 30 seconds long.

Thanksgiving Message from Arielle

If today is hard for you, the message below is for you. It's my annual Thanksgiving message, and regardless of whether you're an American who celebrates this holiday or are living elsewhere, the message is still relevant. Take care of yourself, be kind to yourself, and celebrate how far you have come today. It's all about gratitude.

Happy Thanksgiving.

TA DA!

Each year, for the anniversary of the site, I typically give it a fresh look. Well, ACTIVELY   ARIELLE won't turn 5 until October, but instead of waiting 2 more months, I decided to give the site its new look today.

I decided to keep the same words in the header, but opted for a new pic with more of a smile to fit with the positive atmosphere. :-) I also changed up the colors, going with a more simplistic look, where the words and images shown here will have to speak for themselves.

I wanted to steer away from anything too busy or distracting. I want this to be a calm space, waiting for whoever chooses to visit. I want this to be a clean, fresh, unmarred space with energy on the pages.

In other news, I'm hoping to showcase some new Recovery Cats in the coming weeks. Currently, there are 33 delightful cats, all available on a variety of products (magnets, mugs, art prints, photo prints, greeting cards, postcards, mousepads, and coasters!).

The Print Shop is here: Arielle's Recovery Cats.

Recovery is the cat's meow. :-)

Actively Arielle is now on Tumblr!

Actively Arielle is officially on Tumblr! I have a created a tumblr to go with the main site, for brief, positive posts & images. Have a Tumblr account? Follow away!

CLICK BELOW to head to the Tumblr:

 or:

http://activelyarielle.tumblr.com/

Recovery Messages

This week's video is about Recovery Messages. I discuss some negative ones, personal experience, and as always, spout the positive ones! :)

Messages Girls DO Need to Hear

I know a bunch of you have watched my most recent video called "Tell Her," which I posted earlier this week. Interestingly enough, this week's Wednesday video is:

Messages Girls DO Need to Hear

Check it out!

Calling All Art! I’m Having a Giveaway!

Are you an artist? Do you doodle to get your feelings onto paper? Maybe you draw in the margins of your notebook in class. Maybe you paint murals. Maybe you’re just trying to find an outlet for your emotions. Whatever the case, if you’d like your artwork displayed on my blog, here’s what you can do:

If you’ve created some form of art, whether it be a sketch, a painting, a sculpture, etc. and you’d like to share it with the eating disorder recovery community via my blog, I’d love to help you show it. Send me a picture of your artwork via email (arielle.becker@gmail.com) with a few sentences about what your art represents or what you are trying to portray with it.

I’ll post one piece of artwork per week, including your name and your words about the piece, along with my own thoughts. (I don’t consider myself an art critic by any means, but I am an artist and I am in the ED recovery world!) I’ll also add a photo of your piece (along with your name of course) to my sidebar so that throughout the month it can be easily viewed even as my posts continue.

So, if you participate, you get a post about your art AND your art displayed on my sidebar for a month. Everyone wins. :) BUT, by the end of November, I’m going to choose one person who will get 4 Love Your Body postcards, from the Love Your Body campaign AND this awesome water bottle from NEDA. (It says "Be kind to your body.")

The awesome thing about the postcards is that they have original artwork on each of them, so if you like art that symbolizes eating disorder recovery and/or loving your body, this is pretty cool. Have a look:

You can save 'em, send 'em, or tack them up as art.

(Sorry I'm not giving away much, guys, but I promise this won't be my last Giveaway.)

The stipulations:

* Make sure in your email to me you list your name as you wish it to be displayed. That means if you’d like to be credited with your full name, give me your full name. If you’d like to be credited with a username only, please specify that and list the username. If you’d like to be credited with just your first name, again, specify that and tell me what it is. If you’d like to be recognized as anonymous, just let me know.

* Make sure your art represents RECOVERY, not just an eating disorder. I don’t want to post ANYTHING on this site that could be mistaken for pro-ana or be seen as a representation of someone wallowing in the disease. That means NO art depicting ultra-thin bodies, skeletons, bones, or anything that shows self-injury, blood, etc. I fully understand that art often shows the pain the artist is experiencing, and I’m all for art therapy, but that’s for you personally, to be for your eyes and not the eyes of all readers. My readers are extremely important to me, and so is their safety and well-being. I don’t want anyone coming to this site and feeling triggered or unsafe in any way.

* So that means the goal is to show RECOVERY... a transformation, a change, growing self-love. Show HOPE. That doesn’t mean you it has to be all rainbows and daisies, people...and that doesn't mean it can’t depict a struggle, because we all know recovery can be a struggle, but please make sure that struggle is headed in the right direction. :)

See, guys, it’s a challenge. :) And that (along with me wanting to see your great art and share it with everyone!) is really the purpose here.

So, hit me with your art, past or present, and get ready for Show and Tell!

Question # 4: Beyond Negativity...

“How can you find positivity and strength to fight against anorexia, when all around - and, moreover inside - you spread negativity?”

Start inside and work your way out. It’s no easy task, but if you work on what’s inside of you first, the rest will follow. Positivity and strength aren’t things you find, they are things you realize, things you tap into, things that you must force yourself to remember time and time again.

The strength is there. If you think it isn’t, you won’t find it. If you tell yourself you don’t have what it takes to be positive and strong, you won’t be.

Try simple things to add some positivity and strength to your life.

-Create a special playlist with strong, recovery oriented songs that have a positive message—a message that makes you want to keep fighting.

-Keep a journal REGULARLY and get out most of your negativity there. That way, you won’t be berating yourself as constantly because you’ll have an outlet. The plus: you won’t be spreading negativity all around either—it’ll be kept in one place, between two covers of a book.

-Use Post-Its. They’re quite an invention. Force yourself to write positive phrases and stick them where you’ll see them. Your mirror, for one. Your computer. Your desk. Your refrigerator. Right smack dab on the calendar page of your planner. Even on the underside of the toilet seat if it’ll help you.

-Pummel a positive message into your head, especially one that’s difficult for you to swallow. For example, my daily cell phone idea.

I realize that these things won’t keep you positive and strong 100% of the time. But they’re a start. And don’t underestimate the power of asking for help when you need it. It takes so much strength. So if you’re looking to be strong, do that. It’s a test. And it can’t hurt.

One big thing: Instead of getting angry at yourself and calling YOURSELF “stupid” and other choice names, get angry at it. In your case, as the question above states, anorexia. (Insert "bulimia, ednos, orthorexia, binge eating, etc.) You have the power to turn things around. You do. But getting angry at yourself is only going to spread more negativity. Channel your anger in the right direction—at the source of your pain. Not at another person or at circumstances in your life. Not at yourself. AT IT. At this disease.

It might make you feel more empowered... STRONG, if you will. :) Use it.

*All links direct to more elaboration on my answer to the question. :)

You Are A Beautiful Flower

Sounds like bullshit, I know...but hear me out.

Today I was looking at a flower and thinking. I was thinking about the flower in reference to self-destructive behavior and/or thought.

Think of yourself as a flower. And every time you think or say something bad about yourself--or do something bad or negative to yourself--you are ripping a petal off. If you do it enough, pretty soon you'll have no petals left...and you'll be just a stem with nothing left...or worse yet, you will die.

I know that I want to be a beautiful flower, not a dying stem. What about you?




(c) Art by Arielle Lee Becker

The Holidays are Upon Us

To all:

The holiday season can be a tough season. It's often full of family, food, and obsessive behavior. I'm writing this to let you know I understand. The holidays can make you squirm and wake up full of dread each morning. But you know what?

They're not supposed to. That's not what the holidays are all about.

They're about a thousand things and none of those things should be negative or unhealthy or depressing. The question is: how do you get yourself into the right mindset?

You have to psych yourself up for it. You have to be positive and remain positive despite all the negativity you might feel closing in on you. You have to worry about YOU and not about others. I know it's hard--many times those "others" are your family or your close friends and you feel conflicted or manipulated or overwhelmed. Those feelings are okay and completely natural. All feelings are--because they're what you FEEL and they are honest. But you've got to do what's best for yourself and sometimes that means thinking only of yourself at a given point in time.

I know it might sound strange--me telling you to think of yourself during the holidays, when everything else out there promotes goodwill toward the less fortunate and giving to others besides yourself--but you have to consider that if you are first good to yourself, you will much more easily be able to be good to others. You have to start with yourself and go from there. It sounds so simple and so difficult at the same time, doesn't it?

I once had an aunt comment on what I was eating at a family holiday dinner. I had put some things on my plate and had handed it to her so she could add something to it that was nearest to her. "That's not YOUR plate, is it?" she'd said.

I just looked at her.

"I mean, you don't eat all that, do you?" she asked.

It didn't matter why she said it or what she meant by it. It was too late; the damage had been done. She'd gotten the message from my silence that I was shocked she'd say such a thing to me (for at the time, I was very very thin), but when my plate was handed back to me I didn't feel like eating. I'm sure she had no idea what she'd done to me with that short conversation. But there was a lot wrong with that conversation.

For one, she'd drawn attention to my eating. Second, she'd commented on the amount. Third, she was clearly surprised which made me question myself and what I was ready to eat.

In short, that small incident completely ruined my day. And if I'd had the right mindset at the time, it wouldn't have. Now, I know there are situations you will all deal with over the holidays that will be worse than that...or even less severe than that...that will irk you, upset you, and make you miserable. This was just an example. The point is: don't let it upset you.

As usual, it's easier said than done. But all you have to do is TRY. Just try. When something upsetting happens, or you see or hear or feel something that triggers you to do whatever self-destructive or eating disordered behavior you typically fall back on, DON'T DO IT. Don't let it get the better of you. Don't give in to pain and sadness and frustration. Use your anger or your emotions to build yourself up. Do what's healthy and what is good for you. Be good to yourself. Think of yourself. Don't think of someone else's comments or the way someone else looks. Don't think of all the food and how you shouldn't eat it. Don't think of the obsessive behaviors that may have become natural to you. Think of you and the child you once were that is still a part of you. And give her/him what she/he wants. You are allowed to indulge. You are allowed to nurture. You are allowed to FEEL GOOD. You are allowed to BE HAPPY.

Really.

Write a note to yourself. A short one, a long one, a sentence, a few words, or whatever you want. But write a note to yourself that is positive, that quickly reiterates that you can get through things. Maybe it will say: YOU CAN DO IT! YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOU GIVE YOURSELF CREDIT FOR! Or maybe it will simply say: IT'S OKAY. But whatever it is, write it. To yourself. On an actual piece of paper. And keep it. And put it in your coat pocket, or your purse, or your wallet, or something you almost always have with you. And when you're dealing with some holiday stress or you're feeling overwhelmed, take it out briefly and look at it. Reassure yourself. You will thank yourself later. Maybe later that day. Maybe later that month. Maybe later that year. Or maybe even years from now. But you will thank yourself.

Do you really want to have miserable holiday season? Or one filled with grief, obsessing, nervousness, anxiety, pain, etc? Of course you don't. And you don't deserve to. You deserve all the good things the holidays can bring. I know you can't get rid of all those bad feelings and behaviors in one day--or in one holiday season. But you can START.

Start now. Start with THIS holiday.

Best of luck to you all. You can do it!

Arielle