Be the Change

My shortest video EVER. It's only 30 seconds long.

Insecure

Something completely different for your Wednesday Warrior video this week: slam poetry from Arielle. It's doubling as a Wednesday Warrior video and a video in my new Poetry Series, simply because it can! We're currently doing a 4 week rotation on Acceptance, and this week's specific topic is Insecurities.

Enjoy! Take your power back!

Exit to Make a Return to Yourself

My fabulous friend Tracey, at Just As I Am, has been facilitating a great blogging program for interested bloggers in recovery. The weekly prompts can be found at Blogging for Wellbeing and it's a wonderful way for the eating disorder recovery community to gain support, share wisdom, and use their individual voices!

This week, I wanted to pop into the Blogging for Wellbeing mix with a little something.

Last week's blog prompt was "Self" and this week's is "Beauty." To me, those two go together, creating a union that is unstoppable. When I saw each of the blog prompts, I was reminded of a poem I wrote some years ago. Though the title of it is "Exit," it's really about beginning anew. "Exit" refers to leaving one thing in order to jump full-force into something better. To me, it's about the self and it's also about beauty... beauty OF the self, beauty of life, beauty of the power within. Thanks, Tracey, for reminding me of this poem and for the opportunity to share it with others.

Exit

Exit—here I go,

I’m leaving like a flash of light

That shone once and was gone.

Safer to go than to stay,

Better to learn than to wait,

I’m going.  I’m flying.

Exit—here I go,

I’m leaving and I’m coming back

A new woman.

Out of my life and into my dreams,

Born once again,

I’m running away.

Exit—here I go,

I’m leaving like a gust of wind

You feel only for an instant.

I’m ready to jump,

I’m ready to fall,

I’m ready to go.

Exit—here I go,

I’m leaving and I’m coming back

A new woman.

To care for myself,

To leap into the unexpected,

To grow like a flower in the rain.

Exit—here I go,

I’m leaving like the moon leaves

In the morning light.

Like rain that falls from full clouds,

My thoughts cascade and flow

Into carved paths time digs into the ground.

Exit—here I go,

I’m leaving and I’m coming back

A new woman.

Leaves fall and bloom again in spring;

So do our spirits fall, only to again

Be replenished with happiness.

Exit—here I go,

I’m leaving like the seeds

Leave the swaying trees.

Like a seed, bursting from earth

So I have grown too,

A flower not yet fully blossomed.

Exit—here I go,

I’m leaving and I’m coming back

A new woman.

Promise is there—

The promise to experience

With a face upturned toward the sun.

Exit—here I go,

I’m leaving like yesterday

That turns into tomorrow.

Exit—here I go,

I’m leaving and I’m coming back

A new woman.

© Arielle Lee Bair 2006

Arielle's Word of the Day #29: MYSTERY

Life is a mystery. That's what makes it scary. That's what makes it wonderful. The beauty of it all is that we get to live the mystery one day at a time, together. We can do anything. Life is ours for the making. Mysteries abound.

We are all a mystery. To each other and to ourselves. That's what makes us scary. That's what makes us wonderful. The beauty of it all is that we get to live the mystery one day at a time, with ourselves, with each other. We can do anything. You can do anything. Life is ours for the making. Life is yours for the making.

GO!


Living the Mystery: Everyone is Looking

I am sharp, a polished statue

With eyeliner that speaks volumes

And hair that shines and falls

With perfect poise

Against the lapels of my suit jacket.

My smirk is confident,

My nods are important.

My nails are sleek,

My eyes are quick to discern.

I walk in brisk steps, heels click-clacking

On the hard floor.

Everyone is looking.

I am free, a hippie chick

With long, messed hair

That travels with me

And a singular smile

That proves I’m dancing

To the music in my head.

My swishing skirts

Follow my moves

As I walk in circles,

A book of poetry clutched in my hand,

Oblivious to the world around me.

Everyone is looking.

I am buzzed, a dance floor queen

With drink in hand

And hips that sway

To the beat of excitement and

The hum of the rhythm.

The darkness is loud

And the bright lights are

Calling to me

As I move each part of my body

With a passion.

My eyes are closed as I feel the song.

Everyone is looking.

I am rosy, a child in a meadow,

The green grass around me

And the blue sky above me.

My sunburned cheeks can

Feel my smile

As I twirl with abandon

And skip with delight.

My hair is wild,

My heart is light.

I wear a wreath of flowers

And my bare feet are brown.

Everyone is looking.

I am mystery, a mermaid in the water,

Sleek and supple,

Carefree and mischievous.

My eyes are wide with want,

My hair is like a garment.

The water moves with me

Like a friend I’ve known since birth.

If I splash, I laugh.

If I laugh, I’m beautiful.

I live for nothing

But the simplest joys.

Everyone is looking.

And I am looking back.

I am innocence, a dreamer on a porch swing

With lowered lashes and a book in hand.

Feet curled under, I breathe the summer

And smell my skin

While my eyes rove the pages

That hold stories of lovers

And sweep me up like a girl on a cloud.

I am everywhere at once,

With no experience

But a heart full of hopes.

When I sigh my softness shows.

Everyone is looking.

I am adventure, a spunky explorer

With crazy ideas

And confident independence,

The world at my fingertips

And my fingertips reaching.

The sun is my guide

And the wind is my song.

I am ready to go.

With knees rough from climbing,

I reach the top of a mountain

With respect and admiration.

Everyone is looking.

I am me.

I am looking

At everyone.

And everyone

Is looking

At me.

© ALB 2008

Arielle's Word of the Day #27: BLISS

A life without an eating disorder is bliss.

At Last

I position myself in the billowing breeze,

Just to see if I’ll waver,

And I say what I please.

The triumph I feel when I stand on my own

Lifts me up to the sky

Unlike all else I’ve known.

© 2007 Arielle Lee Bair

Arielle's Word of the Day #22: HOME

Home can be many things. The feeling of "home" is unparalleled. Beautiful. Strong. Remember that no matter where you go, you can always take a little piece of home with you. The following poem is several years old and short. It's a sonnet (I call it "Sonnet for the Self"), for those of you who are into poetry. I've done a Shakespearean sonnet, which means it is written in iambic pentameter abab rhyme scheme...until the last 2 lines, which is an iambic pentameter couplet. That's a lot of English talk for those of you who could care less, but regardless, the poem has an important message.

Sonnet for the Self

Inside the mind, there is a little room.

It has a tiny lock and just one key.

Around it, doubt and shadows tend to loom,

But when the door is opened, truth goes free.

This little room—it houses all self-love.

Tear down the curtains; let the sunlight in.

No need to worry what you’re worthy of—

To love yourself can never be a sin.

Just bask beneath the rays of love and pride,

And never keep this bright room locked away.

Do not be meek or feel you have to hide—

Without self-love, true joy will never stay.

So give this room all that you have to give,

And you will always have a place to live.

© Arielle Lee Becker 2006

Arielle's Word of the Day #21: FIGHT

Another short piece of poetry from me, for today's word. It's meant to be slam poetry - spoken word - but just imagine I'm performing it for you. :-)

My heart leaps, and reaps…it gently seeps the lessons I’ve been taught. No longer caught, I live my life without the strife of pain, strain, or fear of gain—I’m free. The world has opened up to me. I see.Struggles past have hurt their last and I have cast a new light—and in my sight is everything. I sing. I bring with me the story. There is no glory—only fact. Exact truth. No age or youth. Just life and understanding, the helping-handing, the demanding…of solution. Revolution. Retribution. I’m here, I’m here—for restitution! I’ve found at length I have the strength to now survive…really thrive…to jump and laugh and come alive. I’ve stood my ground, I’ve looked and found, I’ve died and tried to live again. I can. I can! There is no wall, no battle call, no way to know when you might fall. You must stand tall. You must recall the way you do not want to live—then give, and give and give some more, ‘til you are spent and on the floor. And then, yes then, and only then—it’s time for your ascent. You’ll start out bent…but slowly you’ll stand tall again. You can.

(c) Arielle Lee Becker 2008

Arielle's Word of the Day #12: CROWD

Today, another old poem from 9 years ago...

 

Help me live

To face the day

Look around

And be okay

Help me live

To face the night

Think alone

And be all right

Help me live

To face the me

In the mirror

That I see

Help me live

To face the crowd

Beat the battle

Make them proud

Help me live

To face the day

Look around

And be okay

© ALB 2003

Why did I choose this tiny little thing written on a piece of scrap paper to represent today's word? Because of the second-to-last stanza. I lived to face the crowd. I beat the battle. I made them proud. But what's more - I made ME proud. And I just realized now, after re-reading this simple poem of mine 9 years later, that the person whom I was asking to help me live... was me.

I used to be afraid of the crowd.

Then I was lost in the crowd.

Then I proudly faced the crowd.

Now I lead the crowd.