What Gives You Hope?

In this life, in this stage of wanting recovery, or of being in recovery, what gives you hope?

Perhaps it's a large goal, like wanting to have a child one day.

Perhaps it's a smaller idea, like being able to truly be yourself around a particular friend.

Hell, it could even be a soothing cup of tea late at night, when you're snuggling into your sofa, reveling in the time to yourself at the end of a long day and feel at peace.

Today, I'm not talking about plans you have to make or concepts you need to manage in order to keep going. I'm talking about hope. Pure, simple, unique-to-everyone hope.

What gives you hope? For the future? For each day as it stands alone?

Figure out what gives you hope. And if you can't think of something, you're not trying hard enough.

You may not have a support system. Your family maybe hurting your recovery rather than helping it. You may have been abused or bullied or treated unfairly. You may feel completely alone. You may be sick. You may be tired. You may be busy beyond belief.

But there is always hope. It's up to you to find it. I promise you, no matter how bleak things seem, the hope is there. It may be a tiny sliver barley showing itself... but it is there. And if you don't find it and hold it close, you're only keeping yourself in the dark.

Move towards the light, people! Grab the hope.

Eating with Others

Just a quick video in the middle of my responses to reader questions.

This week, for my Wednesday video, I responded to the question: "Is this rare or does anyone else find that eating with others can be easier than eating alone?"

Crazy Little Voices

Something I wrote 4 years ago...before I realized I was NOT alone.

Crazy little voices

Tricky little words

Something in my corners

That looks to me absurd

I travel in a triumph

I whither in the rain

Cold white bone beneath

The tightening skin and pain

The somethings all around

Blare up like heinous horns

I hold my ears in horror

While my little sore heart mourns

The trees are standing watch—yes

The eyes are all on me

And are they coming closer

To see what they can see?

My face looks like a child’s

My mind feels like a stone

My body is a battlefield

And here I stand alone

I think sometimes the scariest part is that we feel we are trapped and alone. But the truth is, there is a way out and it just takes time to find it. There are a lot of people who deal with the same pain, the same circumstances, and we can help each other. You've got to use what you've got inside--what you've dealt with so far and are continuing to deal with on a daily basis--and you've got to consider it an advantage, a wisdom, and a power. Instead of letting it bring you down, rise above.

Much love,

Arielle

Help Me Live

I wrote this 4 years ago today. At the time, I thought I was writing to someone--to some unknown source--for help and guidance...but now, in retrospect, I realize I was writing to myself. I was asking for help, pleading with myself. This poem describes how I used to feel each morning when I woke up. I'd feel drained. I'd feel scared. I'd feel alone. I'd feel miserable.

Help me live

To face the day

Look around

And be okay

Help me live

To face the night

Think alone

And be all right

Help me live

To face the me

In the mirror

That I see

Help me live

To face the crowd

Beat the battle

Make them proud

Help me live

To face the day

Look around

And be okay

(c) Arielle Lee Becker 2003

I finally helped myself live...just like I was always asking. It was mostly about self-realization, self-love, and self-expression. It was partly about listening to myself. It was partly about doing what I really wanted--what I really really wanted. It was partly about deciding I was ready for a new life. It was partly about getting rid of the bad in my life and surrounding myself with some more good. And it was a little bit about lots of other things that made me stop, made me think, made me turn my head to see, and made me understand at last.

Arielle