Showing posts with label writer. Show all posts
Showing posts with label writer. Show all posts

Saturday, January 14, 2012

The Slender Trap - A Must Read!


I’m excited to share something special with you: a book. More specifically: a workbook. Even more specifically: a food and body workbook. I had the pleasure of reading and reviewing The Slender Trap by Lauren Lazar Stern, MA, ATR-BC, LPC, but the really exciting part is now – when I get to share it with you.

There are so many ways to review a book, and since The Slender Trap is by far the most creative workbook for eating disorders I’ve seen, I’m going to take a more creative approach to reviewing it. Not needing a food and body workbook for my own purposes, I read through The Slender Trap with the intent to share it with you. I took some time and marked my favorite parts and pieces of the workbook… and when I finished there were more than two dozen Post-Its sticking out from the pages. That’s how I know Lauren Lazar Stern has some great stuff to share.

Sharing so many delicious bits and pieces with you would prove lengthy, so I managed to narrow my favorite passages further and hope to mold the review by sharing them.

The first word that pops into my mind when flipping through The Slender Trap is CREATIVE. It’s just so different from other workbooks out there. There is a focus on workbook activities (or exercises)  in a way that doesn’t seem too childish and there is a focus on art that is not intimidating for folks who consider themselves less than artistic. There is A LOT for readers to do in The Slender Trap – so much, in fact, that they really cease to be readers and become participants. And yet – I don’t think it would be daunting to those in recovery, even for those just starting out.

The workbook is comprised of 12 chapters, which are in turns insightful, introspective, practical, and – dare I say it? – fun. I can envision teenagers working through the book, but I can also envision adult women discovering a lot about themselves while “participating.” The beauty of The Slender Trap is that it can be tailored to YOU. The workbook is the fabric, the material. YOU are the tailor.

Furthermore, it’s a book for a wide variety of people – those with anorexia, bulimia, EDNOS, binge eating disorder… as well as those with poor body image and low self-esteem who may have never been officially diagnosed with an eating disorder. It’s a tool to learn about yourself, to work through issues, and to set you on a path to peace with food and body, whatever your specific problems or diagnoses might be.

The chapters are diverse and useful. If one chapter doesn’t speak to your body image or eating disordered issues, other chapters will. By “useful,” I mean to say that the activities are applicable to real life, not just the stuff floating around in your head.

At the end of Chapter Four, entitled “Body Image and Societal Pressure,” the author challenges the reader:

“Dress for yourself, not for your date. Choose an outfit that you like and wear it on your night out. Draw a picture of yourself in that outfit. Write about how it felt to have made your own choice.”
I imagine that some parts of the workbook might seem difficult initially, but sense that the final product the reader churns out with each new exercise might be quite surprising in a positive way. In short, The Slender Trap will really make you think.

In Chapter Five, entitled “Food Traps & Plans,” there is an exercise called The Food Plate. 

It involves both drawing and writing and I personally think it is so…SMART. This exercise in particular made me wish this book had existed back when I was struggling with anorexia. For many, listing food and the contents of meals during recovery can be triggering, unhelpful, anxiety-producing, or all of the above. By drawing each meal on the pages (and plates, cups, etc.) provided, it’s all THERE, but the focus is not on the rigid structure many with eating disorders (especially those with anorexia) are seeking to leave behind. I used to suggest to members of the eating disorder recovery group I lead and to various blog readers and video viewers that taking a photo of their plate before they ate each meal could serve as just as decent a “food log” as keeping a food journal or tracking their intake for family members/treatment teams/nutritionists/etc. This exercise in the workbook is very similar to that concept, which really speaks to me.

An exercise in the same chapter asks the reader to “Draw Your Traps” and there is a convenient picture page to help the process flow. The author instructs,

“In as many traps as you need below, draw what gets in your way of healthy eating. It may be that you feel trapped by your thoughts, fears, or something else. Let your drawing be your guide.”

Farther into the same chapter is a new exercise called Getting Out of My Trap, for which the author instructs, “Now that you’ve drawn and described your traps, it’s time to plan a way to get out.” There are deep boxes on the page in which to draw your strategies. It’s cool.

Another cool page can be found in Chapter Six, entitled “Full of Feelings.” There is an exercise about destroying your scale – but in art form right on the page. I think it’s extremely smart to start out like that; destroying a scale is such a big and scary step for a lot of people. It takes a long time to feel “ready” for that and preparing by destroying it in the workbook is just plain awesome. The exercise is meant to help the reader work through feelings associated with having destroyed the scale.

Finally, in Chapter Nine, entitled “The New Me,” there is an exercise called A Party to Celebrate the New Me and the author writes:

“On the party planner on the next page, organize a party celebrating your hard work. Invite as many guests as you would like. Eat the kind of food that you want. Create the invitation of your dreams. Use your imagination. Remember this celebration is for you.”

How great is that?! 

And these are just a handful of the exercises and challenges The Slender Trap presents. 
I want to tell you so much more about The Slender Trap, but I really want you to get the book – so I’ll leave you here, with your appetite wet, curious about the other 240 pages of fantastic-ness. :)

I want to thank Lauren Lazar Stern for sending me her book and allowing me to share my specific thoughts. For more on Lauren Lazar Stern, visit her website here: http://www.laurenlazarstern.com  You can also find details there about how to purchase the book.

You can also follow her on Twitter: @laurenlazarster



Sunday, September 6, 2009

Okay...Questions #1 & 2

I promised to answer any and all questions, so I'm starting off with two questions I got from Miss Keira. I'll stay true to my word, so if you want to add any to my mix, ask me in a comment here. I'm working my way down the list!

"Did you have a moment where you went from "recovering" to "recovered"? or was it fluid and went by without noticing? I ask because I'm at a stage where it doesn't feel like I'm 'actively' recovering... it just feels like life."

I don't know that I can pinpoint any one moment, but I do remember several times when I would stop what I was doing and realize Wow, the eating disorder hasn't been a part of my life or my thoughts for a while. It's one thing to erase all behaviors and idiosyncrasies from your life, but it's another thing entirely to realize the an eating disorder is no longer part of your thought process.

For me, on a daily basis, I don't think about having an eating disorder. It seems like a piece of my past. The only time of think about eating disorders is when I post on the blog, make my recovery videos for people, lead my ANAD support group, or post responses to people on the recovery forums on which I'm a moderator. My own understanding of the matter helps me to help people, but it doesn't cause me to think of eating disorders once I'm removed from those arenas.

Each day, I wake up and eat normally. I don't think about what I put into my mouth. That is a big indicator for me. If someone asked me what I ate yesterday, I wouldn't always know. I'd have to think about it. That is telling; in past years I would know everything I'd eaten in the last week and could name it all in 25 seconds. When I tell the women in my group that I drink "regular Coke" they shake their heads in disbelief. When I talk about cream cheese on bagels, they almost gasp. To me, it is nothing. Not anymore. But because it used to be so severely SOMETHING to me, I know how far I have come. It is part of the reason I consider myself "recovered."

The other part is that I don't feel I could help people in the same way I do if I wasn't "recovered." If there was always that little seed still inside me waiting to grow, I don't think I could say the things I say with such certainty. I don't think I could explain myself in the same way and I don't think that I could push suggestions that I know work.

As you say, Miss Keira :), when you feel you are not "actively recovering" but just living life, that is a definite piece of what I'm talking about when I refer to being "recovered." When life is life and all things eating disordered cease to exist. I used to be healthy and well, but still on occasion had to catch myself from following through with an eating disordered thought. I'd have to use positive reinforcement regularly to keep me going in the right direction. It could have been a year since I'd done anything remotely eating disordered, but the thoughts were still there from time to time. I was still recoverING.

Now, it's different. The thoughts don't plague me. My life is...freer. I'm content. I don't have the anxiety that used to follow many of my moves and moods. I'm a healthy weight and have been.

When I started up my support group, I did it not as soon as I knew I was healthy and well, but when I had BEEN healthy and well (mentally, emotionally, and physically) for a decent amount of time. Sure, I could have led my group after a year of being healthy and happy and well, but I wouldn't have felt removed enough from the issue. I wanted to be as sure as I could be that I wouldn't relapse, wouldn't be triggered by things or people, would be able to help with ALL of my being. I started the group about 2 years after being what I loosely call "recovered." I knew I was living life, I knew I was able and capable, I knew it wasn't half wish and half truth that I would always be okay. I knew it was a sure thing (as sure as any confident person can be, that is).

Though I had been recovering for years, I'd still had slip-ups, thoughts thoughts and more thoughts, and was not totally and completely well in all ways. I sit here now "recovered" for what I would say is just over 3 years. By that I mean, a healthy state of well and capable and free of my eating disorder for 3 years. Before that, even though I was committed to recovery, I would have called myself "recovering." I hope that I've made sense. :)

One thing, though--please don't for a second, readers, think that I am perfect or without fault. Please don't think that I don't have bad days and good days like every other human being. And please don't think that there aren't days when I look in the mirror and frown for a moment before I smile. I've only been on this earth for 25 years and I'm a work in progress like anyone else. But I'm free... and you can be too. Trust me on this one. If you knew me 7 years at age 18, you'd think there was no way I'd be the woman I am today. You would have seen a scrawny girl with lack of confidence, lack of hope, and sad eyes. You'd see someone with problems wrapped around her sickly form. You'd see silence, pain, and fear. Today, I'm different. So I know it's possible to achieve freedom. If I didn't know it, I wouldn't have this blog. Wouldn't run a group. Wouldn't make weekly videos with such conviction.

And question # 2:

"What does your job involve?"

I'm a Caseworker for a non-profit agency in my county/state. I help low-income families apply and receive subsidized child care funding so they can work. Day care is expensive! I also give referrals and help out in a variety of ways in the realm of child care services. It's a helper job if there ever was one, but it doesn't pay much at all, being non-profit. Lucky for me, I like the people I work with and I'm also a writer...so I'm hoping that will get me somewhere eventually. ...When I can hopefully devote more time to it! :)

For those of you who think I'm a wonder woman fighting EDs all day, every day or for those of you who just want to know the simple me--daily life, funny stories, husband tales, baby longings, writing adventures, and all--there was a blog BEFORE this one... my regular blog One Page at a Time. It's my personal blog (has been for the last few years) and you're more than welcome to see what I'm all about, ED world aside. I know I can seem a bit "unreal" from time to time, so maybe a few glimpses into my life will show you how real I truly am!