Going Through the Motions

The longer you "go through the motions," the easier recovery becomes. Soon you do it more naturally and you discover things that are unknown to you right now. You learn about yourself. You will get where you want to be, but it takes time and effort.

You are probably giving a tremendous amount of effort right now. And you're probably thinking, "When will something give a little?" or "When will I actually be free of this?" Keep reminding yourself that the best is yet to come. You can do this. It will get easier.

Setbacks are going to occur. Don't let them stop you in your tracks.

No one can tell you what you are feeling and experiencing. Don't let anyone define it for you. And it really makes no difference what you call it--a relapse, a slip-up, depression...whatever it is, it is real and you can change it if you want to or live it if you don't. (And who wants to live it?) The only word that matters is Recovery. If you feel you are going through recovery, good. If you don't think you are but want to, then do something to change it. If you think you have a recovery mindset but lack the drive or the will to care 100% of the time, you can change that too.

Change one thing and you end up changing a lot.

Recovery doesn't mean you are doing well 100% of the time. It just means that you WANT to be.

No matter how many cons there are to your dilemma, one big pro outweighs them all: you getting better, you feeling better, you learning to live life again.

You don't have to define what you are going through with a word (relapse, recovery, slip-up, setback, etc.). You just have to know where you want to go.

Winds Are Blowing

Winds are blowing; I am here.
I stand, unchanged, in the midst
Of whipping air and blinding cold.
Long walks in a wealth of winds
Has aided me in my quest for strength.
Winds are blowing; I am here.
I stand, unwavering, in the center
Of close currents and closer chill.
Winds are blowing; I am here.

(c) Arielle Lee Becker 2008

A Fresh Start

2008 is a new beginning. It's a brand new year that's clean and blank and just waiting for you to do something new with it. So make a conscious effort to do something different from the usual things that haven't brought you happiness in the past. It's worth a try. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. That sentence in itself may be psychologically triggering or scary. Forget about words and concepts for a moment. Just think about yourself. There is so much more to you than words and numbers and concepts.

What do you want 2008 to be about? Don't make a list for yourself of everything you want to accomplish or hope to gain. Then if you aren't able to check things off your list you will feel you've failed or that your year is somehow incomplete or has not lived up to its full potential. Just choose one thing...one thing you want to do or attain or become or understand or feel or realize or complete. Just one. Make it a good one. And make 2008 about that thing. Don't make the mistake of becoming too focused on that one thing. 2008 has a lot to offer you and everyone; it shouldn't be about obsessing over one particular thing. But keep a goal in the back of your mind and work toward it when you can.

And one more thing...
This year, try to learn from yourself.

That's it. Don't try to analyze yourself. Don't try to emulate others. Don't try to find the answers to everything you have a questions about. Simply learn...from yourself. There's a lot to learn. The first step to learning is listening. Listen to yourself. Even if you can't make sense of yourself, listen. Learn.

Because it's true...everything starts with you.