Wednesday, January 9, 2008
A Fresh Start
What do you want 2008 to be about? Don't make a list for yourself of everything you want to accomplish or hope to gain. Then if you aren't able to check things off your list you will feel you've failed or that your year is somehow incomplete or has not lived up to its full potential. Just choose one thing...one thing you want to do or attain or become or understand or feel or realize or complete. Just one. Make it a good one. And make 2008 about that thing. Don't make the mistake of becoming too focused on that one thing. 2008 has a lot to offer you and everyone; it shouldn't be about obsessing over one particular thing. But keep a goal in the back of your mind and work toward it when you can.
And one more thing...
This year, try to learn from yourself.
That's it. Don't try to analyze yourself. Don't try to emulate others. Don't try to find the answers to everything you have a questions about. Simply learn...from yourself. There's a lot to learn. The first step to learning is listening. Listen to yourself. Even if you can't make sense of yourself, listen. Learn.
Because it's true...everything starts with you.
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Tell Your Tale Tuesday (# 4)
Happy Tuesday, everyone! And thanks, Rachael, for sending me this wonderful essay/rant/empowering declaration! If anyone's interested, you can find more of Rachael's awesome words here: Twisted Barbie Weighs In
And you can always find a link to her blog on the side panel of my site. And without further ado...
By Rachael Stern aka Twisted Barbie
The weight industry is an incredible enterprise isn't it? They're trying to sell us self worth and were so hungry from starving so long we eat it all up. Entrapment in an all encompassing paradigm, where an intellectual double standard is the normative fare, is what womanhood has turned in to. Entrapment in a society that wants to feed and stuff us with the image of starvation as satiety.
What are we to fill up on when double standard is the coach fare of our culture? Certainly not food for that would make us un-hungered for. A cultural analysis of our bodies is hardly necessary when our physical contextually is the primary factor in determining our personal worth, and yet somehow in the attempt to empower our hips and thighs, those of us who are still tormented by the jiggle that our very humanity might conjure are digested as traitors, unconsciously working against the slowly ticking clock, setting it into a counterproductive, counterclockwise spiral.
A convenient way to view this problematic social structure would be through Flocculation tinted lenses. Are we not creating our own neo victorian standards? Do we best feed our movement by continuing to feed it with propaganda, rejecting those who are imprinted by the very mold our non allied communities are trying to cookie cut us out with? Let the sustenance of our community feed those un sustained by themselves. After all, in the end, who would you rather sit down for dinner with? Driving home from a Rally seemed like an everyday act for me, but passing out at the wheel wasn't what I envisioned as empowered. I have always and will always label myself a feminist. It is at the core of my identity, wholly and truly. How is it then, that I ended up being so effected by society that I would sacrifice myself?
I set off on a journey that went against every value I hold. I transformed myself for others into something socially and culturally appropriate. I disabled my own beliefs, my own activism, my own power.
Not anymore.
I hereby agree to revel in my humanity and do the very things necessary to support its livelihood. I agree to love with my whole heart unapologetically. I agree to stand at the edge of the cliff and not only to sit amidst, but dance in the fire surrounded by friends. I agree to have no apologies. I agree to embody my own beliefs that I hold so steadfast for others and never sacrifice myself to fit what another might consider good or better or appropriate. I agree to speak my mind when my voice shakes, to cry when I'm hurt, to scream when I'm angry, to sing when speaking cannot express my joy, and to dance when words fail my truest expression.
I have worked myself into an oblivion attempting to prove my right to inhabit this world, when my mere existence should have sufficed. I have always been enough just as I am. I agree from this day forth to feel entitled to my life, my voice, my body and my food. I agree to exist as counter culture within the diet ravaged society that I am forced to contextual myself in. I agree to grapple with the tough questions. How is that I have reconciled an eating disorder with a strong feminist selfhood?
Why is it that the standard I hold for others falls away when I stand in front of the mirror? I agree to keep questioning what the difference is between personal and political activism. What does it mean to effect change from within, and is this in opposition to without? Is personal liberation as important as political liberation? I have come to believe it is.
I agree to work for radical change within something that will be the most prevalent in my life beyond laws and beyond labels. I can return to the very beginning and work from the source. I can be me. I promise to be me.
How is it that when the very gears of the political machine are falling apart, we fail to notice? How is it that activists everywhere have alcohol problems, drug problems, self injury problems, food problems and it is accepted? How are we okay with this? Why is it okay to kill yourself to feed the movement? What are we really fighting for if not our own lives?
Perhaps as activists, we need to start with ourselves. We need to go back to the drawing room and retrace our steps. What are our goals? What do we really want, and why? Can we structure a movement that supports healthy individuals? These are questions that take us back to the consciousness raising group. We have grown too far from the personal. We are people, we are human and no amount of protest, no amount of social movement, no amount of anything can change that. H0w can I tell bush he isn't fit to run the country, much less anything when I cant feed myself? and what right do i have, pretending to be someone that younger people can look up to when I'm sacrificing myself? Perhaps we need to take a step back and acknowledge that by engaging in these self defeating acts we are not only stopping our own gears, but we are allying with the other side, forgetting what the focus is, turning inward and contributing to our own ineffectiveness and erasure.
How is it that we have ended up in a society where the very act of consuming food, sustenance is a political act? If I buy a diet pepsi, it supposedly isn't political, even-though I am supporting bullfighting. If I buy a bag of chips, it breaks an unwritten social code. People form opinions about me. I form opinions about myself and all of a sudden i'm not thinking about how my gay best friends can't get married, or why I care about the current paradigm. Eating without judgment becomes a political act, a stance I am taking. It is noticed and I am choosing to be a part of this world without letting others judgment keep my presence at bay. I refuse to take it
on. I want chips damn it and I am no less of a woman because of it. This is feminism. I am here and I'm not leaving. I want to change the world, I want to dance naked and have sex with the lights on.
The personal is political, and the political is personal.
The time has come to put our food where our mouths are.
Who is with me?
***Awesome, is it not? Rachael, so glad you sent me this. I love the concepts, the words, and the meaning. But most of all I love the spirit and the strength! I'm also kind of partial to the fierce feminist voice speaking out against what's wrong with this society. I know a lot of us are "with you." I know a lot of us appreciate the strong voice of this essay. Thanks again for sharing it. I am with you!
Arielle
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
Tell Your Tale Tuesday (# 3)
Here is the email that was sent to me; I hope you all will read it!
These are the pendants Karin Collins donated for the auction.
These are just a couple of the spoon pendants on her website that are for sale.
Hello Arielle! Please consider this important health/lifestyle/fashion/charity item for coverage on your Actively Arielle blog at some point during the month of November!
Acclaimed Los Angeles-based wearable art designer Karin Collins (please see her inspiring health-related story below and at http://www.spoonfedart.com/) is once again promoting and participating in the annual National Eating Disorders Association "Every BODY Is Beautiful" Online Fundraising Auction, which is running from November 1st through December 2nd, 2007. There are a number of fantastic items up for sale, including jewelry, clothing, tote bags, spa packages, beauty products, celebrity-autographed collectibles, vacations, music, books, art - and many more great items will be added as the auction progresses! The event is being chaired by music superstar Sara Evans and features many other celebrity contributors!
The delightfully diverse auction offerings include a trip to Tokyo, a backstage concert meet & greet with Sara Evans, a manicure in Beverly Hills, yoga classes in Seattle, an iPod Nano, an autograph/clothing package from American Idol singer Carrie Underwood, a one-of-a-kind customized guitar signed by Bo Diddley, tickets to the Regis & Kelly show, a Disney Snow White animation cel, an Orioles jersey autographed by Cal Ripken, Jr., a weekend in Malibu, and much much more....
Please let your audience know that they can go to this link for the scoop on this great event: http://www.blogger.com/www.nationaleatingdisorders.cmarket.com
And please do take a moment to check out Karin Collins' latest SpoonFed Art work (and the brand new look of the website!) at http://www.spoonfedart.com/!
Karin's gorgeous wearable art spoon necklaces - made from actual spoons! - are gaining popularity all around the globe (see a sampling of our press clips below)! AOL Style recently referred to Karin's pieces as "staggeringly beautiful pendants with a soul," and as NYLON magazine writes, SpoonFed Art is "...an imaginative jewelry collection that takes wearable art to a new level... The L.A.-based designer hacks the handles off ordinary utensils and fills them with all things sticky, shiny, and bright... Wear one, and you\'re guaranteed to cause a few mouths to open."
Karin originally started making her SpoonFed Art pendants as a very personal art-oriented therapy to overcome a serious eating disorder she\'d been battling for almost 20 years. Karin is entirely free of her eating disorder now, and she continues to contribute to and spread awareness of the National Eating Disorders Association to keep the focus of her SpoonFed Art business on the reason it was started - to help heal.
For more information on the inspiring story behind SpoonFed Art, please see this profile of Karin on Yahoo! Health: http://health.yahoo.com/topic/mentalhealth/inspirational-stories/article/capessa/63_karinc
...or this SpoonFed Art article from the LA Weekly: www.laweekly.com/la-vida/la-vida/the-art-of-spooning/14389/
Karin Collins has donated three of her SpoonFed Art pendants to the NEDA fundraising project, including an exclusive NEDA-commissioned one-of-a-kind necklace featuring the NEDA logo. Last year's one-of-a-kind NEDA Logo pendant from SpoonFed Art sold for $370!
Please let your audience know that they can go to this link for the scoop on this great event: http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.cmarket.com/
Karin Collins is available for interviews and can be reached at Karin@SpoonFedArt.com and her number is 310-467-8648.
Please feel free to use any of the images from the NEDA auction and SpoonFedArt.com sites in your coverage of this event - or let me know if you'd like higher-res jpegs of the three pendants Karin contributed to the auction!
Thanks so much! Hope all is well!
Kira Bloom
SpoonFed Art
SpoonFedArt has recieved awesome reviews in many popular magazines like Jane, Venus, Vision, Health Magazine, and TONS of others. Have a great Tuesday, everyone!
Arielle
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
Tell Your Tale Tuesday (#2)
I woke up from the bed rubbing my eyes with laziness. I looked beside me and saw my very own image lying on the other bed. “Ah! Such a strange mirror! I said “I’m sitting on the bed and it shows me to be sleeping. And yeah, this mirror wasn’t there last night so how come it’s here now? Never mind!”
As I washed my face and returned to my senses, I noticed that it wasn’t a mirror image after all! It was a living body like you and me. I woke up that girl having a really spooky feeling inside myself. It looked as if Vegna (he...he that’s her name of course!) was wearing my mask over her skull.
She was just as surprised to see me as I was mind boggled! After some heated discussion, I discovered that she was my identical twin sister. Wow! Maybe…. We were separated at birth or Oh, you can assume it to be any story that you know about some twins meeting so late. Who cares?
Well I didn’t. All I cared about was how much fun I could have by doing all the pranks I knew about and then putting Vegna to fault! I soon ran around the house breaking my brother’s toys, troubling my mom and shuffling the papers on my father’s desk.
I spilled some oil outside the door of my brother’s room and hid in the corridor. I laughed to my heart’s content when I saw him fall yelling out loud. Later I put some pins on my father’s chair but this time I didn’t wait for the result because I was a bit scared. I then broke many utensils in the kitchen and had fun watching the troubled expression on my mother’s face!
When the whole house ran around yelling my name in anger I soon hid in the attic (my secret hiding place). Poor Vegna! She is the one who got all the scolding and punishment for my naughty pranks. I suppose she couldn’t speak out in her defense for she was too astonished to say even a single word. Anyways, I was glad at that news!
We, the twins, Vegna and myself, must have been real devils I suppose. I say so due to the stories or maybe myths I’ve heard about two twins being similar to each other. Arghhh…. Why did I play those pranks on Vegna, after all? I really acted like a fool and never thought that she too could trouble me in the same way as I did. Unluckily this is exactly what she thought and aah….did.
Vegna played naughty jokes on my family and talked rudely to my friends. The next day I was amazed that none of my friends talked to me and my parents scolded me unnecessarily for something I never did. Ah, it’s my fault after all. Anyways this really made me burn with anger.
To apologize for my bad behavior or actually Vegna’s bad behavior, I did some surprisingly good deeds. Everyone was surely amazed to see the other side of me. But that wretched Vegna, She took all the credit for everything I did. You must be wondering what I was doing at that time. So your answer is that I was shouting at the top of my lungs in the attic which used to be my hiding place. Vegna had found it out and had locked me inside the attic where no one could hear my voice!
The next on her list to trouble me was (Gasp) get really bad marks in….in…Oh, in my English Test. Can you imagine? English was my favorite subject, after all! I got very poor marks in the Test and my teacher scolded me telling that she had never expected such a thing from me. How could I tell her that it was not me who wrote the test but Vegna and I had been lying on the bed suffering from fever.
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Tell Your Tale Tuesday (# 1)
This week, I received some wonderful poems...
Darling Downer by Tabetha
The pigeons cant fly with broken wings
My sinful greed for other things
Has led me to this double life
Smoke filled rooms
Stable+Simple Lives
Can't escape myself
Take me away to the unfamiliar
A moment
Where the sun is wet
The rain is dry
One moment less to live
One moment more to die
I need the stars
I need the night sky
I need the moon
I need you tonight
I love Tabetha's poem, because it is written with such heart and simplicity. She boldly states what she was feeling. In speaking to herself openly and honestly, she addresses a variety of things. She writes of life, escape, and need. Tabetha, I'm so glad you shared this with me (and all of us). I hope if you ever have anything else to share, ask, or tell, that you will do so. Your poem was the first one I received and I was delighted to read it and ponder it. Thank you, Tabetha!
***
the way it was by Sarah
I wish
I were back at your uncle's house at the end of the oak alley
The only one the Yankees didn't burn
Wisteria twining
Swimming in the creek, gasping at the chill
Sleeping on the porch
(Everything on the porch)
Joggling boards and hominy and bonfires
Hammocks and hunting dogs
I wish
For sweet tea and icy lemonade in mason jars
Fried green tomatoes and okra
Seersucker and white linen
Redbud blooming
Watching you dig a barbecue pit
Your mama's biscuits light as feathers
Barefooting
Capture the flag and horseshoes as the sun dips down
I wish
I could have my fortune told again in Jackson Square
Drink hot thick black chicory coffee with you
At midnight, just getting started
Air so heavy it settles on my skin
Creole tomatoes and duck gumbo and sleepy gators
Knowing what I wanted
Walking along a levee
Not being afraid
I wish
For Abita Purple Haze
Crawfish and corn and potatoes
Spread out on the Times-Pic
The streetcar clattering by
Kissing tourists for beads
Music everywhere
Dey all ax'd for you
I wish
For dirt roads
And red sandstone
Peaches still warm from the sun
Mint juleps and straw hats
Cotton bolls and Sundrop
Old Master every day
The way magnolias fill the air
And knowing who I was
I wish I'd done some things differently
Taken more chances
Lingered longer
Paid more attention
Worried less
About what I didn't have
And understanding what I had
Sarah's poem makes me feel good inside; it reaches down deep to get at all those pleasant memories. It has a distinct feeling of nostalgia and self-affirming daily happenings. What's more, this poem has a subtle and beautiful undertone of self-love. Though it's looking back on "the way it was," Sarah's poem shows that what once was is not forgotten...and in fact, is remembered with happiness. Though things may have changed into less beautiful times, the promise of feeling good is still there, because she felt it once. Thanks for sharing this, Sarah. I enjoyed it so much. Though your wonderful poem looks back on happier times with a sense of sadness in your "I wish" refrain, it's clear you have a positive attitude and a love for life. I hope you'll share again if the feeling moves you. I'd enjoy hearing from you in any sense.
***
I hope everyone is having a wonderful week so far. Start sending in your words, thoughts, writings, poems, questions, comments, stories, etc. for next Tuesday! I'd love to hear from you!
Arielle
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Tell Your Tale Tuesdays
Each Tuesday, instead of a post from me, I will post YOUR words. All you have to do (if you're interested, that is) is email me at: arielle.becker@gmail.com. What to say? Tell me your story. share a poem or a rant. Write me a letter. Tell me what's bothering you this week. Explain a problem you're dealing with. Ask me a question. WHATEVER YOU WANT. They are your words, after all. Who's to say what you can and can't write?
I don't (and won't) pretend to be a therapist, but I will gladly respond to each story, poem, rant, letter, problem, question, etc. So, if you want to see your words on the site, feel free to email me and watch for your words on Tuesdays. You can ask to have your words posted as "Anonymous" if that feels more comfortable to you. If you'd rather NOT have your words posted, that's completely fine! You can always email me a question or story, etc. and I will respond to you via email privately. Just let me know you don't want your words to appear on the site or if you'd like them posted with your name or anonymously.
I think this (Tell Your Tale Tuesdays) will be not only cathartic, but beneifical in other ways as well. By sharing, we can keep understanding and by turning your tears to words you will be empowering yourself and those who read here. Besides, it will be a great way to "meet" and feel less alone.
I can't wait to hear from you!
Arielle




