Possible

I hope you all enjoyed the first ever Tell Your Tale Tuesday yesterday. I know I did. I found it very empowering and inspiring in such a simple way--which is so wonderful.

Here is something I wrote yesterday. I feel very strongly about it so I thought I'd share it with you. Just consider it a...mantra, of sorts. A declaration. A personal proclamation to take to heart.

Recovery is possible.
It's not a guarantee. It's a possibility. It's not simple. It is difficult and sometimes seems impossible. It's not a one-step process. It's a multi-step process complete with twists and turns and bending roads...and roads you didn't even know were there. It's not the same for everyone. It's not always a happy process. It's not always a sad process. It IS empowering. It's not about pleasing other people. It is not about them. It's about YOU. It's not about perfection. It IS about emotion. It IS about honesty. It IS about self-discovery and self-affirmation. It's not about what you don't have. It's about using what you've got. It's not about hiding. It's about finding and displaying. It's not a quick-fix. It's a lifelong plan set into motion by truth and nurturing and self-love. It's not about external factors or environment. It IS about what's within. It is not crazy. It IS real.
Recovery is possible.

When I first read this over last night, I really felt every word. When I re-read it over again this morning I felt every word even more. I think re-reading this "mantra" is a good way to keep things in perspective.

Maybe I should post this permanently on the site somewhere...

Have a great Halloween, everyone. You are all constantly in my thoughts.

Arielle

Cards for Life's More Difficult Issues

I know this is an old article (by a few months), but I wondered if perhaps some of you hadn't heard about it. I think it's pretty cool and definitely shows awareness of issues.

Hallmark's new line of cards (including ones for those struggling with eating disorders)

What do you think about this?

Arielle

Tell Your Tale Tuesday (# 1)

Welcome to the very first Tell Your Tale Tuesday! Thank you all for your wonderful emails. I loved hearing from you and I hope that more of you will share in the future. It doesn't matter how many times you email or submit anything...there is no limit. I want to hear anything and everything you have to say. Even if you only have a question, I'd be happy to answer.

This week, I received some wonderful poems...

Darling Downer by Tabetha

The pigeons cant fly with broken wings
My sinful greed for other things
Has led me to this double life
Smoke filled rooms
Stable+Simple Lives

Can't escape myself
Take me away to the unfamiliar
A moment
Where the sun is wet
The rain is dry

One moment less to live
One moment more to die

I need the stars
I need the night sky
I need the moon
I need you tonight


I love Tabetha's poem, because it is written with such heart and simplicity. She boldly states what she was feeling. In speaking to herself openly and honestly, she addresses a variety of things. She writes of life, escape, and need. Tabetha, I'm so glad you shared this with me (and all of us). I hope if you ever have anything else to share, ask, or tell, that you will do so. Your poem was the first one I received and I was delighted to read it and ponder it. Thank you, Tabetha!

***

the way it was by Sarah

I wish

I were back at your uncle's house at the end of the oak alley
The only one the Yankees didn't burn
Wisteria twining
Swimming in the creek, gasping at the chill
Sleeping on the porch
(Everything on the porch)
Joggling boards and hominy and bonfires
Hammocks and hunting dogs

I wish

For sweet tea and icy lemonade in mason jars
Fried green tomatoes and okra
Seersucker and white linen
Redbud blooming
Watching you dig a barbecue pit
Your mama's biscuits light as feathers
Barefooting
Capture the flag and horseshoes as the sun dips down

I wish

I could have my fortune told again in Jackson Square
Drink hot thick black chicory coffee with you
At midnight, just getting started
Air so heavy it settles on my skin
Creole tomatoes and duck gumbo and sleepy gators
Knowing what I wanted
Walking along a levee
Not being afraid

I wish

For Abita Purple Haze
Crawfish and corn and potatoes
Spread out on the Times-Pic
The streetcar clattering by
Kissing tourists for beads
Music everywhere
Dey all ax'd for you

I wish

For dirt roads
And red sandstone
Peaches still warm from the sun
Mint juleps and straw hats
Cotton bolls and Sundrop
Old Master every day
The way magnolias fill the air
And knowing who I was

I wish I'd done some things differently
Taken more chances
Lingered longer
Paid more attention
Worried less
About what I didn't have
And understanding what I had


Sarah's poem makes me feel good inside; it reaches down deep to get at all those pleasant memories. It has a distinct feeling of nostalgia and self-affirming daily happenings. What's more, this poem has a subtle and beautiful undertone of self-love. Though it's looking back on "the way it was," Sarah's poem shows that what once was is not forgotten...and in fact, is remembered with happiness. Though things may have changed into less beautiful times, the promise of feeling good is still there, because she felt it once. Thanks for sharing this, Sarah. I enjoyed it so much. Though your wonderful poem looks back on happier times with a sense of sadness in your "I wish" refrain, it's clear you have a positive attitude and a love for life. I hope you'll share again if the feeling moves you. I'd enjoy hearing from you in any sense.

***

I hope everyone is having a wonderful week so far. Start sending in your words, thoughts, writings, poems, questions, comments, stories, etc. for next Tuesday! I'd love to hear from you!

Arielle

Sonnet for the Self

To go along with my post from yesterday, here is a poem I wrote within the last year or so. It's a sonnet (I call it "Sonnet for the Self"), for those of you who are into poetry. I've done a Shakespearean sonnet, which means it is written in iambic pentameter abab rhyme scheme...until the last 2 lines, which is an iambic pentameter couplet. That's a lot of English talk for those of you who could care less, but regardless, the poem has a good message.

Inside the mind, there is a little room.

It has a tiny lock and just one key.

Around it, doubt and shadows tend to loom,

But when the door is opened, truth goes free.

This little room—it houses all self-love.

Tear down the curtains; let the sunlight in.

No need to worry what you’re worthy of—

To love yourself can never be a sin.

Just bask beneath the rays of love and pride,

And never keep this bright room locked away.

Do not be meek or feel you have to hide—

Without self-love, true joy will never stay.

So give this room all that you have to give,

And you will always have a place to live.

(c) Arielle Lee Becker 2006

Remember, tomorrow is Tell Your Tale Tuesday, so if anyone else has anything they'd like to share, please email me by this evening.

Arielle

Refreshing Reinforcement

Glamour magazine has a segment each issue called "glamour list." It is typically a list of 12 things of a particular nature...you know, 12 things it's okay to do, etc. In the most recent issue, the segment is entitled: "12 things in life never to take for granted."


I liked a lot of the items they had on the list, but #4 stood out and made me happy:


Just wanted to share that with all of you. It's good to see a women's magazine give some positive reinforcement, however small.

***

Along those lines, there was a page in the same Glamour issue entitled: "The 7 best (and worst) things you can say to a girl." There is a photo of a little girl playing dress up and laughing. The sub-heading reads: "What you say does make an impression. Make sure it's a good one."


The first column is NEVER SAY...

"I feel fat." (After a second helping of stuffing, sure you do. But beware! If she sees you hating your body, she may learn to loathe hers, says Courtney E. Martin, author of Perfect Girls, Starving Daughters.

"You're young. You'll get over it." Yes, she'll survive being blown off my her so-called friend. But that doesn't make it sting less right now. Ask how you can help.

"Men suck." Bashing just feeds an us-versus-them mentality, says psychologist Rita Haley, Ph.D.

"Sure you want to eat that?" Eating a honking slab of pie is much less damaging got her than the feeling that everything she puts in her mouth is fodder for scrutiny.
"Paris is such a slut." Whatever you think of Ms. Hilton, trashing women teaches girls to be mean, says psychologist Sharon Lamb. Bring up Nancy Pelosi instead.
"Guys won't like you if you..." It's never good to change to "get" a guy. Tell her the right one will like every crazy, quirky thing about her.

The ALWAYS SAY... column was wonderful too, but one particular ALWAYS SAY stood out for me.

"Yum!!!!" Teach her to enjoy her food, not battle it.

This definitely made me feel positive today! What do you think about this?

Arielle

Spreading the Self-Love

There is a trail in my neighborhood that people use for walking and running. It's beautiful--especially in the fall. I have often seen people (mostly women) running there, so it seemed as good a place as any to post a body positive note.

On Thursday, I went for a little run myself, with a pre-written Post-It note in hand. It read:
You are beautiful just as you are. Love your body. I added webiteback.com's web address and my own.

I used a small tack to attach it to a tree that was prominently displayed. (It was a very small tack; I didn't hurt the tree at all.) I ran up to the other end of the trail and as I came to the end, a woman--a very, very, very thin woman--was passing me, heading in the direction of my strategically placed Post-It.

I ran home feeling good.

Arielle

To Me

Again, I wrote this about 2 years ago. This is like the letter to myself I posted earlier (below), except this is a poem and it's not necessarily to me as a child, but it does speak to the child that is IN me. I love this poem, because I say all the right things...to myself.

I need to tell you what to do--
Ask it fast and mean it true--
It's for me and it's for you:
Help yourself--it's helping two...
You and me and me and you.

I need to give you what you need,
Bandage up your wounds that bleed,
Hold you up so you succeed.
Stop and know it is not greed--
When it is time you will be freed.

Believe, achieve, receive, and grieve
For all of You that you deceive.
Reply and try--do not deny...
Above all, do not leave.

I need to hold you close to me--
Breasts and bones and dignity,
Curly hair and eyes of blue,
Because you're me and I am you.
Reaching fingers, awkward knees,
Jutting ribs, despondency...
Aching heart and tired head,
Little soul once so well fed...
I need to hold you close to me--
Precocious words and empathy,
Dreams and love and weight and pain,
Creativity and shame...
Promises and fragile skin,
Song and breath and smile and sin...
Panic, pressure, lies and fears,
Worries, wishes, fits, and tears.
I need to hold you close to me--
The loneliness, anxiety,
Feelings old and feelings new,
Because you're me and I am you.

(c) Arielle Lee Becker 2005

***

If you'd like to share your own poetry or letter (or anything for that matter), check out Tell Your Tale Tuesdays. I'd love to hear from you!