Out with the Old, In with the New

Get rid of the stuff that's holding you back.

What have you outgrown (not in a physical sense, unless that's somehow relevant)? Think on it. You are still allowed to MISS what you've outgrown, but that doesn't change the fact that you've outgrown it.

On that note, what DON'T you miss? Use that as a force to push you in a better, more positive direction. We all have memories of days, months, and even years we'd rather forget. Perhaps you'd like to wash away some recollection of pain or misery? The thing is, in NOT forgetting about it, we become stronger people. So, don't erase. Instead, remember. And then ask yourself, "Why don't I miss that?" And use it like a tool to propel yourself forward.

What aren't you quite ready for? Be honest with yourself. It's okay to realize you're not exactly ready for everything all at once. Not many of us are. It can still be a tangible goal, whatever it is you're not quite ready for--because you just have to tell yourself: I'm not ready for it YET.

And finally, when all these questions have been asked and perhaps re-asked, ask the most important question of all: What are you looking forward to?

What are you waiting for? I can't answer that FOR you! :)

A Daily Reminder

I've programed my cell phone to alarm (silently) every morning at 9:00 AM in order to display a reminder message.

The daily reminder?

"I like myself."

Yes. That's what my phone tells me to remember.

Sometimes we all need reminding. I hear you--you're saying, "But I don't like myself." Well, if you don't like yourself yet, just wait. A few weeks of seeing that daily message and it might start to sink in.

Q & A for a Rocky Road

Question: What's the mentality of a person who wants recovery?

Answer: The mentality (of a person who wants recovery) is one that will do whatever it takes to be rid of the eating disorder. The mentality is one of determination, desire, and hope.

We may not all be pillars of strength—especially in our own minds—but that doesn't mean we don't have the drive and determination to get better. If you have the real desire to truly recover, it's within your reach. And if you have the hope that it can and will happen, it's waiting for you. Understand that first and foremost, and you have taken the first step. It's a mental step, sure, but it's a significant step.

If you try to walk up the steps and the first step at the bottom is missing, you're going to trip…or worse—you're going to slip right on through and fall harder.

Mold your mentality first. Understand that you can do it. Don't try, yet still in your heart of hearts think it's impossible. You won't get anywhere that way. You'll keep hitting road blocks.

That's not to say that a path of recovery is without obstacles just because you have the right mentality. The path of recovery is going to be a difficult one no matter what, but that doesn't mean you can't travel it—it just means you have to be prepared.

And you know what happens when you manage to get to the end of a long and rocky road: the reward is that much sweeter.

 

The New Year: Just Another Day

 

"It's just another day, dear," he said. My husband, that is. He was referring to the New Year—the first day of 2009 that everyone makes such a big deal about—awaiting its arrival at midnight like it's some terribly consequential moment. Truth is, it's not. It's a cause for celebration, sure. It's a day that will never come again, yes. But, as my husband said, it's just another day.

 

There I was, putting so much emphasis on the new year, acting as if it was some powerful force—something more powerful than I am. Though I sort of brushed aside the comment "It's just another day, dear" at the time, I've actually been thinking about it a lot recently…pondering it and grasping its meaning.

 

The new year is what we make it and yes, resolutions are great to have. They keep us on track. They keep us putting our best foot forward. But what are New Year's resolutions really? They're regular goals, that's what. You can make a resolution on January 1^st or you can make one on June 25^th—it's still a resolution.

 

Sometimes the new year can be triggering. It can bring up memories we'd rather forget. It can cause us to reflect and feel disappointed in ourselves. It can also be very scary; it's a fresh year we don't want to mess up—how can that possibly NOT make us a little afraid?

 

First things first: Your goals are YOURS and no one else's. Remember that. Don't let what other people think or feel influence your lack of confidence in yourself.

 

Second: Think of the new year as a blank page upon which to write down all your hopes and plans. Don't think of it as a problem to overcome.

 

Third: Don't don't don't think of the new year as something huge. It's not. It's "just another day." It's just another year of days that we can live through in the best way we know how.

 

Cheers to you!

My Motto for 2009

Yesterday is history.

Tomorrow is a mystery.

Live for TODAY.

 

 

 

Let me hear you say it.

 

Go ahead.

 

 

Yesterday is history.

Tomorrow is a mystery.

Live for TODAY.

 

 

 

Mmm-hmm. Go for it.

Waiting Out the Storms

When life comes at you full-swing, and you're stumbling back from the blow, encourage yourself to sit still for a moment. Allow the feeling of being overwhelmed to pass. Allow a plan to form inside your head. Allow peace to attempt to permeate your muddled mind.

 

One of the worst things you can do when life comes at you hard is to rush right back at it in the same fashion. You know what happens then? A collision.

 

Sitting back is a better bet. Maybe pick up the pieces and work on gluing them back together. If a storm is happening, you can't clean things up while it's still going on. You have to wait until its over. You can't run out into the storm to fight it and expect not to be swept away by what's going on around you. You can't repair things during the storm. You have to wait until it's over. And then, when the worst has passed, you can head outside again and try to clear things up.

 

Waiting is difficult. When you see the world around you being tossed about, it's not easy to just sit there and wait. It's so much easier to panic and run full force into it all.

 

Resist the urge.

 

Wait it out.

 

The calm will come sooner rather than later…and then you can begin to mend what's been happening.

Your Life Raft in the Waters of Criticism

It’s easy to get swept up in the swirl of the world. You go to school or work and you see and hear things that make you feel inadequate. There are a lot of things out there that influence us, whether we like it or not. And in a lot of ways, it can be a good thing. Many of us have friends we have a great time with, family we love and care about, and things we enjoy doing, watching, or reading. And that’s okay.

But when you already feel a certain way and suddenly you can feel that something around you is pulling you to feel another way, you need to stop and think for a minute. A minute is all it takes. You’ve heard the advice: “Go with your first instinct.” Well, in this case, you usually should. If something you see or hear or read makes you second guess how you FEEL about yourself, it’s best to examine it.

Don’t get me wrong—it’s great when we see or hear or read something that makes us question our thoughts or our knowledge about something. It’s good to be open to other opinions, possibilities, and viewpoints. We can learn a lot by paying attention to the world around us. Just don’t let something make you feel like less of a person if you didn’t feel that way before.

If your peers are telling you something negative (that you’re fat, ugly, etc.) or worse—if your friends (which is questionable to say the least) are saying things that make you feel bad about the way you look—don’t let them bring you down to a place where you want to change to please them. Working to please others or to make others like you is no way to live and is, frankly, a recipe for disaster. At the end of the day, all you have is YOU.

Not all criticism is constructive.

Appreciating yourself is your life raft in the waters of criticism.

For girls and women, especially, life can become a competition. You want to be pretty, you want to be smart, you want to be thin. You want to make sure you are as good as everyone around you. Sometimes it can feel hard to measure up. Sometimes the people you’re trying to measure up against TELL you that you aren’t good enough in some way. You’re not pretty enough. You’re not smart enough. You’re not thin enough. Your clothes aren’t nice enough. Your haircut isn’t cute enough. The list can be never-ending.

You’ll never be able to please everyone. And you’ll never be able to hold yourself above the water if you let other people pull you under. And drowning is a horrible way to die.

Really, it’s all about survival. You can’t let people--or things you see, hear, or read--get the better of you. If you read in a magazine that being a certain size makes you somehow less appealing to the world at large, but you felt okay about your size before you read it, listen to your first instinct—that you are fine the way you are. Don’t buy into the negative pull. If your friends, school peers, co-workers, and/or family say something that makes you feel negatively about yourself, just remember that what they say doesn’t determine what you are. And for everyone who says something that makes you feel badly, there are just as many people who see you as great in a lot ways.

If you see an ad on TV and it makes you wonder if you should try to change yourself in some way, don’t let something you see for two minutes on TV influence you into thinking you’d be better off looking different. You have your own mind; use it.

Appreciating yourself is your life raft in the waters of criticism.

You write your own story. You can change anything you want. And you can add a new chapter whenever you feel like it. You don’t need something external or someone you know telling you what and how to change. All throughout your life, people are going to offer their opinions whether you like it or not. Sometimes a person’s opinion will help you…and sometimes it will hurt you. It’s up to you to learn the difference. There are a lot of things out there that can help us…and there are just as many things that can hinder us. A minute of thought can make a world of difference when it comes to deciding whether or not to think negatively about yourself.

When it comes right down to it, no one else anywhere is YOU. You are the only you. There’s no one out there like you. So you can’t go wrong looking the way you do. You can’t go wrong being what you are. You are you and that is the way you were meant to be. It’s okay and natural to feel unsure about the way you look sometimes, but if you’re feeling good about yourself, don’t ever let anyone make you think differently. When you give in to a negative thought about yourself, you’re relinquishing a little piece of yourself. If you continue to do that, pretty soon you’ll have surrendered a lot of pieces. You’ll be weaker and more unsure than ever.

Appreciating yourself is your life raft in the waters of criticism.

It can get pretty difficult dealing with things and people around you, especially if they are undermining your confidence in yourself. But you know what? It takes a very strong person to make it through and come out on top—to come out feeling okay. To come out knowing you are great just the way you are. To come out better because you know this.

Don’t give up on yourself. You have all the power.

And you are beautiful. Just as you are.