Appreciating Your Body

This week's topic is an important one. I had to cut my video down from its original 17+ minutes because I had too much to say!

Video Version of "Dealing with Summer" + Your Body

This week's topic is:

"Make your clothes fit you instead of making your body fit your clothes. Many popular clothing retailers produce clothing that flatter thin body types. There is a lot of pressure to buy those "goal jeans" that may never flatter your body type. Many times having a fashion makeover that flatters your body type can make any body look appealing, and improve self-esteem. How can we respect our bodies by finding clothing that fits our body instead of making our body fit clothing."

My video is a spoken version of my latest post regarding clothing and summer, but there are some other tidbits as well, including links to 4 other videos that are relevant. I know some people enjoy watching/listening vs. reading, so here you go!

Body Dysmorphic Disorder

This week's topic was an interesting one - the little known disorder called BDD (Body Dysmorphic Disorder). I discuss how this relates to eating disorders and give a basic background.

As usual, click to view on YouTube, as embedding will be disabled.



Hope everyone is doing well - and I promise, I won't keep feeding you videos each week - I have some other posts coming up. :)

Setting Goals & Making Plans

Just a brief lapse in my answering of your reader questions to post my weekly video for the ED recovery collaboration on YouTube. This is the last week in our special Confidence, Self-Esteem Building, & Assertiveness Program, but don't worry, there will continue to be weekly videos--we're just going back to the regular "response to viewer questions" format. :)



I'm working on answering Question #4 of the reader questions, so if you have any more for me, let me know and I'll get to them!

A Response: Finding Love For Yourself...

A few days ago, I received a comment on my latest post from Z. She wrote:

“You really make recovering sound like it's worth consideration at the very least. I know that recovery comes gradually, but how can you decide to recover when you have no love for yourself, let alone the love needed to save yourself? Do you siphon the courage from other people? Is it possible to hate yourself more than you do when you're making yourself beautiful i.e. disordered? You've really given me a lot to think about when it comes to my own issues. I think you are beyond brave to speak out against such a silent horror. I hope one day we can all just look at this as a disease and not something we are meant to be so ashamed of. Maybe then more of us would be willing to get help.”

Z-
Believe me, you don’t know how much I hope that one day this disease will not be something shameful. I too hope that more and more people out there struggling will become more willing to seek help. Breaking the silence is certainly a step in the right direction. We all have voices and we can all use them if we decide to do so. It’s not easy, but it gets easier with every word.

Let me first say this: Recovery IS worth considering. Sometimes the decision to move forward is like a switch. Sometimes it’s a slow process of realization. Sometimes it’s an “aha” moment. Sometimes you find it has happened before you even were aware of it. So, the question at hand—how do you decide to recover when you have no love for yourself? Well, you start by trying what you can to love yourself. Forget recovery for a second and focus on you.

You may recall a post of mine from a couple months ago called A Daily Reminder. You have to surround yourself with positive reinforcement. It doesn’t matter if you don’t believe it. You hear what I’m saying? It doesn’t matter. Do it anyway. Surround yourself with everything you can. Fake it ‘til you make it. Pretend you believe it. Hopefully one day you will.

It’s gonna make you feel silly. I realize this. But it’s almost…necessary. I mean, I get an alarm message on my cell phone every single morning at 9 AM that says, “I like myself.” It’s my phone telling me to like myself. It’s me telling me I like myself. And I don’t even hate myself, girl. And I still do it. I still make myself receive that message.

Do something like that. Put a sign on your mirror so every morning when you look in it you see something positive. Something that is telling you that you like yourself. That you love yourself. That you are good. It may be false. You may not like yourself or love yourself, but it sinks in. Allow it to happen.

Let me lay it out differently. If you hear the message, “You’re fat” or “You’re stupid” every day for your whole life, you’re going to start to believe that, right? Well, if you hear the message “I like myself” or “You’re good” every day for your whole life, you’re going to start to believe that too.

Cool, huh? Do a role reversal. If you smile because you find the message silly for a while, it’s still serving a purpose.

And yes, you CAN siphon courage from others, but ultimately, that courage must fuel your own courage. You can rely on it in bits and pieces…or for short periods of time…but you need to use it as an example of what you want to give yourself, not a replacement. Know what I mean?

By all means, surround yourself with people who fill you up and help you. Support is vital. Let it buoy you up and hold you above the water so that you can finally start to work on your issues and rise above what is bringing you down. In time, you’ll find that you are doing a lot of it on your own, and you don’t need them to do it for you.

A helping hand is never something to push away. Just remember that the goal is to be helped into helping yourself.

In response to your other question, it is always possible to hate yourself more. But it is always possible to love yourself more too. Don’t choose the wrong end of the spectrum. A choice is easy. It’s the following through that’s difficult, but you have to believe it can happen. You can’t give up on yourself—even if you don’t like yourself.

I hope I’ve given you more to think about. I know I put it all out there as if it’s simple, but it’s not and I will never pretend it is. Please feel free to respond again…and remember—the simplest things (like what I’ve been describing) are sometimes the best things we can do for ourselves. So don’t make excuses… today is the perfect day to begin.

Much love,

Arielle