Eating Disorders by the Numbers

On this last day of EDAW, I let the numbers speak for me.

Eating disorders by the numbers | Create Infographics

Highlighted Population: Males

EDAW continues. Today I look at a group that should not be forgotten in our discussions of eating disorders.

Post by Arielle Lee Bair, MSW.

STIGMAS

In this week's video, I discuss stigmas and how they impede recovery.

And the Winners Are...

Joy C!
Thaleia K!
Christina Z!
Chloe F!

I chose the winners of my giveaway at random, as all the awareness stories I received were fabulous. I am so proud of all your efforts.

When Joy hears negative body talk she stops it and takes her nieces on Operation Beautiful note drops! Go, Joy!
  
Middle Eastern Dance (belly dance) helped with Thaleia's recovery, so she is excited to use that as a medium to raise awareness. She is planning a dance showcase that will raise money for one of my favorite ED associations. As part of the program, she will provide information and resources. Yay, Thaleia!

Christina got a tattoo of the National Eating Disorder Recovery symbol. Friends are often intrigued by what it means and she shares her story of success. She says she makes sure that she is never ashamed by what she has been though and makes sure people know they are not alone. She shares this blog with friends that are struggling and has made her voice heard in smaller venues such as with co-workers, in school assignments, and classroom chat. Thank you, Christina!

Chloe says in Northern Ireland there is little to no awareness of eating disorders, so she has arranged to meet with Fixers.org.uk to start her own campaign called 'Can you stomach it?' The campaign is all about eating disorders and the issues that surround them in her own country as well as other countries. She has written articles for her University magazine, started a blog, and has begun talking more openly about her eating disorder on Facebook and with people. Great work, Chloe!

Joy, Thaleia, Christina, and Chloe - Please send me a FB message, Twitter direct message, or email with your contact info so I can mail you your e/d awareness bracelet. If I do not hear from you by the end of the week, I will attempt to contact you directly, but I do not have an email address for all of you. Thank you and I hope you enjoy the jewelry!

For those of you who would like to purchase an eating disorder awareness bracelet, you can do so here at my friend Mellissa's Etsy shop: Noor's Handmade Products

Each of the winners of my giveaway will receive one of these 4 unique bracelets:

And remember - awareness can continue all year long!

Hey, girls! You Need to Hear This!

I received an email from someone asking for advice on how to talk to a 12 year old girl about body dissatisfaction, comparisons to others, and negative self-worth. It got me thinking - like REALLY thinking - so I filmed an 8 minute video, specifically for girls. You know...those wonderful little creatures who grow up to be women. Do you have a daughter? A grand-daughter? A niece? A little sister? A student? If there is any girl in your life, this is what I want to tell her. This is what she needs to hear. It's not about eating disorders. It's about self-love. It's about life.

Arielle's Word of the Day #12: CROWD

Today, another old poem from 9 years ago...

 

Help me live

To face the day

Look around

And be okay

Help me live

To face the night

Think alone

And be all right

Help me live

To face the me

In the mirror

That I see

Help me live

To face the crowd

Beat the battle

Make them proud

Help me live

To face the day

Look around

And be okay

© ALB 2003

Why did I choose this tiny little thing written on a piece of scrap paper to represent today's word? Because of the second-to-last stanza. I lived to face the crowd. I beat the battle. I made them proud. But what's more - I made ME proud. And I just realized now, after re-reading this simple poem of mine 9 years later, that the person whom I was asking to help me live... was me.

I used to be afraid of the crowd.

Then I was lost in the crowd.

Then I proudly faced the crowd.

Now I lead the crowd.

Arielle's Word of the Day #4: CRAZY

I chose this word on purpose. I mean, I made this blogger challenge and picked all the words for each day myself - and I chose CRAZY because I was really curious to see the differences in posts, and I really wanted people to delve inside themselves and see what was there.

The way I feel about "crazy" is multi-faceted. I don't think I can succinctly say that I like the word or hate the word. Yet... it has evoked both positive and negative emotions from me.

1) I really dislike it when people call individuals with mental illnesses "crazy."

It can be hurtful, false, derogatory, and perpetuates stigma about mental health issues. It irks me.

2) I often use the word "crazy" when I'm not referring to mental health.

For example, my mom does a goofy dance. "Mom, you are so crazy!" I say with a laugh. Is this wrong? I don't think so. I love my mom. She loves me. It's not meant to be a nasty comment...

and yet...

I can recognize that the origin of that word, the very reason my brain chooses to use "crazy" to describe my mom when she is acting silly, is not a nice one. "Crazy" came from "looney bins" and insane asylums and straight jackets and people who were not "normal enough" to be in society. Or so the story goes...

I do not ever call someone "crazy" in a serious manner, i.e. I do not tell someone who has bi-polar disorder or bulimia or schizophrenia that he/she is "crazy."  I'm an advocate for ending mental health stigma. I try to educate people on how normal those with mental health issues really are. We are all people.

But I DO use the word "crazy" when I'm having a good time with my family or friends. I even call myself "crazy" - usually, as in "crazy cat lady." :-)

And this is why:

cra·zy  [krey-zee] adjective

1.

mentally deranged; demented; insane.

2.

senseless; impractical; totally unsound: a crazy scheme.

3.

Informal . intensely enthusiastic; passionately excited: crazy about baseball.

4.

Informal . very enamored or infatuated (usually followed by about ): He was crazy about her.

5.

Informal . intensely anxious or eager; impatient: I'm crazy to try those new skis.

6.

Informal . unusual; bizarre; singular: She always wears a crazy hat.

7.

Slang . wonderful; excellent; perfect: That's crazy, man, crazy.

8.

likely to break or fall to pieces.

9.

weak, infirm, or sickly.

10.

having an unusual, unexpected, or random quality, behavior, result, pattern, etc.: a crazy reel that spins in either direction.

I took the liberty of highlighting the definitions of "crazy" to which I refer when I use the term. While I personally feel that calling someone with ANY mental health problems "crazy" is derogatory with a capital D, there are fun, silly, positive reasons to use "crazy" too.

I use number 3, for instance, to describe myself and my love for cats. :-)

I also use number 4 to describe my husband, Rick - he's crazy about me. ;-)

Number 5 I use quite frequently to explain how impatient I am to be finished with the intense graduate program I'm doing right now.

And number 6, well, I use it to describe my hectic schedule. Anyone who knows me has heard me refer to "my crazy schedule" numerous times per week.

Number 7 I love. We should all use it more often. That's crazy, blog readers, crazy! And by crazy, I mean "wonderful," "excellent," and "perfect" of course! Did you know know/realize/remember that "crazy" had such a positive definition?

And number 10... it applies to all of us, I think. Who doesn't have "an unusual, unexpected, or random quality, behavior, result, or pattern" as part of their personality/life?

So yeah, you guessed it... what I'm trying to say is that we're all crazy. And when crazy isn't being used to put someone down, it can actually be a pretty cool thing. :-)

Arielle's Word of the Day #3: POWER

I love the word POWER. When I think of POWER, I think of the positive. I don't think about overbearing control or privilege or abuse. I think about the good kind of POWER that lights up the world, that teaches us to be leaders, that shows us our true and awesome selves.

I'm big on empowerment. Everyone deserves to know that they have a say in their own life.

Take your power back today, you amazing person you!

TRUST and Disclosure of Your Eating Disorder

Today's Wednesday Warrior video is below, continuing with the 4 week rotation theme of relationships.

Day #30: Someday I...

Someday, I...will create the Arielle Bair Foundation. Before I die, I want to create, found, and head a foundation that not only spreads awareness about eating disorders, but provides resources and financial help to people who really want help but can't afford it or access it for some reason. I feel strongly about this and know I can be of some help if the right opportunities and lifepaths present themselves. There are SO many people out there who want and need help, but can't get it due to finances, insurance issues, or even lack of quality care in their areas. I'd love it if my foundation could be international, because there are many countries out there who have health care systems that cannot amply provide for any eating disorder services for the people struggling.

**The AVERAGE cost for a month of in-patient treatment here in the U.S. is $30,000. That's ONE month. And most sufferers need MUCH more care than that provides. You're not "cured" in one month. And most people can't afford this kind of care. Nor can their parents if the sufferer is an adolescent or child.
 
I say that I want to create the Arielle Bair Foundation before I die, because it will take more resources, planning, guidance, expertise, and TIME than I currently have in my life. But...someday. It's in the works... it's in my head. :)

Can I do it? We'll see. But look, I already have my taglines. ^

And also? Someday I... am going to publish not one book, but many - on a variety of topics related to recovery. I have a unique voice in this field and I don't want to give you yet another personal story. For now, this blog is your place and I aim to serve. 

Day #11: I want you to understand that...

I could write a letter to society at large...or to parents of those with eating disorders...or to professionals who deal with those with eating disorders...or to magazine editors...or treatment center staff...

But instead, I'd really like to write to YOU. I'd really like to write to those WITH eating disorders. The ones who are struggling...who haven't yet chosen recovery...or the ones who have finally decided to make that leap, but are afraid...or the ones who have been at recovery for so long it's become a big mountain they are growing tired of climbing...

Because...

I want you to understand that...

Recovery is possible.

It's not a guarantee. It's a possibility.

It's not simple. It is difficult and sometimes seems impossible.

It's not a one-step process. It's a multi-step process complete with twists and turns and bending roads...and roads you didn't even know were there.

It's not the same for everyone.

It's not always a happy process. It's not always a sad process.

It IS empowering.

It's not about pleasing other people. It is not about them.

It's about YOU.

It's not about perfection. It IS about emotion. It IS about honesty. It IS about self-discovery and self-affirmation.

It's not about what you don't have. It's about using what you've got.

It's not about hiding. It's about finding and displaying.

It's not a quick-fix. It's a lifelong plan set into motion by truth and nurturing and self-love.

It's not about external factors or environment. It IS about what's within.

It is not crazy. It IS real.

Recovery is possible.

The length of time isn't what's important. It can take 3 years or 30 years. The goal is to get to the point where you can say, “I'm free” and mean it. Don't give yourself a deadline. Don't beat yourself up for slip-ups. Just. keep. trying.

I've said it many times before and I'll say it again: being "recovered" isn't about always being happy 100% of the time—it's about knowing what to do when you're not.

No matter how many cons it might feel like there are to your leaving your eating disorder behind, one big pro outweighs them all: you getting better, you feeling better, you learning to live life again.

Put more faith in yourself than in your eating disorder. Don’t underestimate your power to move forward and stay there. It all starts with you.

There's a 4 minute video I made that I like to share when I think people need it most. Do you need it today?

For more of Arielle's Letters to YOU from over the years, go here: Arielle's Letters to YOU.
And keep fighting...because, in short, I want you to understand that...recovery is possible.

Day #7: Forgotten Brothers

I can't tell you how many times I have had men or boys contact me for services in regards to eating disorders... and I've had to turn them away from the female-only support group I lead or provide them with the very minimal resources for men. I never end a conversation with one of these men without referring them elsewhere, but I always regret that there are not more places for men to go. What's more - even in some existing services, men may still feel unwelcome.

When people talk to me about eating disorders being a female problem, I try to educate them kindly - eating disorders are affecting more and more males. It's a harsh reality.

I can't imagine what it must be like to struggle with an eating disorder as a male - the horror and pain of the mental illness is terrible enough, but throw in the extra stigma of gender and these guys have got to feel even more alone than their female counterparts.

That's one of the things I try to emphasize when I do talk to men and boys with eating disorders: they are not alone. It may feel that way, but it's not true. And then I refer them to some GREAT guys out there who have struggled too - and who help other males and advocate for them!

...People like Sam Thomas and Nicholas Watts of Men Get Eating Disorders Too (MGEDT), an awesome organization working to end stigma and raise awareness, among other things!

...People like Patrick Bergstrom of I Chose to Live, a recovery movement with great resources for EVERYONE who wants to help those struggling with eating disorders.

These men choose not only to live healthily, but to BE A VOICE for other men. It's admirable and they will help create change.

So here's to our forgotten brothers - may you soon not be "forgotten" at all.

Day #6: Doctor Doctor!

 

A personal ad -

Woman seeking doctor

With some compassion and a heart…

Woman seeking doctor

Who’ll see her face, not just a chart…

Woman seeking doctor

Who’ll show respect and empathy…

Woman seeking doctor

Who understands equality.

So – you ask – who am I?

A woman with a voice,

Who advocates for those

Who don’t know every choice.

I used to be a patient,

A client on the phone

Or standing there in person

Feeling so alone.

So – you ask – who am I,

Who seeks a doctor now?

A sufferer turned recovered,

With sweat upon her brow.

I morphed into a blogger

Who helps make words from tears,

I changed into a leader

Who tries to lessen fears.

Woman seeking doctor

Who wants to end the stigma…

Woman seeking doctor

Who wants to solve enigma…

Woman seeking doctor

Who sees mental health as vital…

Woman seeking doctor

Who wants more than just the title.

So – you ask – who am I

Who seeks a doctor now?

Recovered woman leader,

Who took on a new vow:

We need more good among us

And so I heed the call –

I went back to school to be

A mental health professional.

© Arielle Lee Bair

To all the great doctors and mental health professionals out there! And a call to arms for all those who could use a little reminder.

Arielle's Letters to YOU

I'd like to direct your attention to the "Arielle's Letters to YOU" tab at the header of my site. It's a place where I compiled all my letters and main messages to you - the ones written directly to YOU.

You can click here to view Arielle's Letters to YOU. It seems appropriate to direct you there during Eating Disorder Awareness Week. I hope you'll give it a look. You don't have to read all the letters. You can read the ones that jump out at you, the ones you need.

On that page you will find the letters (from 2007 to 2012) entitled:

• You Are Invited to A Celebration (a post from last week in honor of EDAW and YOU)
• Dear Readers, You Are Not Alone
• You Are Beautiful
• What Gives You Hope?
• Appreciate Today
• An Important Message
• A Word to Worried Parents
• Letter to All
• The Rope
• You Are a Beautiful Flower
• I Invite You to Live

I hope you'll read them, take them to heart, and continue on this journey of life.

Eating Disorders & Bipolar Disorder

Here's this week's video, up a few hours early even though it's not quite Wednesday yet (at least not here!).

Proof that Eating Disorders Affect Everyone

I received some mail from ANAD (Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders) on Monday. I'm an ANAD eating disorder support group leader and they send me regular mail. Well, this week I was really intrigued by the contents of their mail. In fact, I made a brief video about it and read the (less than 1 page) letter. Check it out. It's very telling.

By the way, YouTube is having some major issues this week, so a few of my videos from earlier posts may not be working. Hopefully all will be fixed soon, but I know some videos are not currently viewable.

Time's Running Out...

Thank you, everyone, for all the kind words and for all your votes for my blog. I'm still in the Top 20 and...

There are only 2 weeks left to vote for my blog!

You can vote only until Dec. 15th, so please cast your vote for me now, if you haven't already. I truly appreciate all the support. If you watch my videos, read my posts, and like the art/writing/ideas/suggestions/recovery-oriented advice you find here, help me make it to the top of the Wellsphere Blogger Awards.

You can click on the badge below to place your vote. (Or use the badge located on my sidebar.) To make your vote count, it will ask you to create a username, but Wellsphere only sends one initial email and no more. You will not be bombarded with emails you don't want to receive, so don't worry. Please help! Take a second to vote! Thank you!!!

Arielle B. http://tearstowords.blogspot.com/

Love to all.

Thank You!

I just want to take a minute to thank you all for voting for my blog. My blog is currently #10 in the Top 20 HealthBloggers on Wellsphere, so it's definitely making a difference. You are all wonderful and I really appreciate it. Voting goes through Dec. 15th, so I'm hoping I stay near the top or even move on up!

I have amazing readers.

You can only vote once, but if you'd still like to vote and haven't, you can do so here or just click the "Vote Now" button on the left sidebar of my blog.

Eating Disorders in People with Disabilities

Okay, my weekly video is up on the WeRfreEDomfighters collaboration on YouTube, and I have to admit that it's not too amazing. My topic was Eating Disorders in People with Disabilities, which isn't really my forte, but I gave it my best shot. It's not terribly long and I shared a few links to direct people to some better info.

Click to view on YouTube. You'll be directed there.

And please, if you'd like to support me and my blog, vote for me on the left sidebar and I could win an award with Wellsphere. (((Thank you!)))

Appreciate Today

Appreciate today. Appreciate life. If it's a fleeting moment in which you can appreciate the world around you, then so be it. At least it's something.

Don't let external factors bring you down. There is always something to appreciate in this life. Whether it be the beauty of a sunny day, spending time laughing with family, or talking for hours to a good friend, there is something to appreciate today.

Look for it. Find it. Embrace it.

Sometimes it's just a matter of realizing that there is some good floating around you. Open your eyes. Accept the bad, but don't forget about the good.

Appreciate today. You only get to live today once.