RELAPSES versus Setbacks

This week's video details the difference between setbacks/slip-ups and relapses, but I also provide encouragement, prevention measures, and how to improve your awareness.

The Everlasting Plateau

Usually, recovery is a rollercoaster--full of ups and downs, curves and upside down spirals. We hear this. We know this. We understand this. It makes sense. There is, however, a lesser known part of recovery I call the plateau.

The plateau is what really tests your patience. It's a time during recovery when everything is moving along in the same way--not getting worse but not getting better--for a very long time. It makes recovery almost feel...stale.

It gets that impatience raging.

It makes you wonder if there is a better place in sight or if you've reached your peak.

Well, let me tell you right now--you haven't. The plateau is good in a lot of ways, because you're not constantly worried about setbacks. You're not preoccupied with slipping up. You're not solely focused on keeping your life on track day by day by day. You've made it somewhere. You've made definite progress. You're doing okay.

Yet...

Each day now seems the same. You're okay, but you're not great. You don't feel free. And the worst part of it is nothing's changing. No matter how much you push and try, you feel the same day after day. And you wonder, what gives? Is THIS what I've been working for?

NO.

It'll come. It's coming. You're getting there. You just can't see it with the naked eye. But if you compare day 55 to day 88 you'll see a definite difference. Know what I mean? It's imperceptible on a daily basis, but it's happening.

The plateau is not fun. But it's stable. And that's a blessing. Trust me. It's anything amazing, but let me tell you, it's a far cry from being immersed in an eating disorder every moment of every day. And at the end of that long stretch of plateau...when you get there...is a slide. And all you're gonna have to do is get on and zoom right into freedom. No more mountains to climb. No more holes to jump over. Just a slide. And sure, some hills may spring up here and there after you've slid into freedom... but when you're living sweet freeeeedom a little hill here and there is totally do-able. ;)

Wait it out. The plateau gives way. You're not done yet! There's more to come!

Fear of Failure

I think it's only natural to be afraid your eating disorder will come back...but the important thing is that if it ever DOES come back, you have the tools to fight it. It may never completely cease to exist, but you can be stronger than it is and you can survive.

Fear is only going to bring you down. It can take quite a while to be rid of an eating disorder, especially if it has been with you for a while, and no amount of relapses makes your recovery any less valid. It is a difficult fight, but you can do it. You’ll have good days and bad days. Just remember what you truly want. If recovery is your goal, you are already far along on your journey to a better life.

Bad days are inevitable, but you can pull through. Being afraid to slip back into your eating disorder can make you run closer to recovery, but if the fear becomes so great that one setback makes you doubt yourself, you need to recognize it and fight it.

Fear like this means you’re just waiting for your eating disorder to take hold of you again. It means you don’t think you can really get away from it. And in that case, you won’t.

We are all human and one setback does not negate all the hard work you put in up until that point. You aren't starting again at square one just because you had a setback. You are working towards something that is hard to achieve and it's only natural you will have slip-ups. If you recognize that you did something you didn't like, and feel bad over it, just get back on the road to recovery. That's all there is to it: putting a slip-up behind you. Many eating disordered people have relapses (sometimes multiple relapses) before they feel they are totally recovered. Just keep hopping back on the track to your goal.

Think of it this way: If you want to get from California to New York and you drive 1000 miles, then stop your car and therefore stop making progress, you don't have to start back at California to get on your way to New York again! You are still 1000 miles of the way there. You may have stopped and therefore your trip will take more time, but you don't have to start over. Just get back in the car and keep going. You'll get there eventually. And you can stop as many times as you want.

Put more faith in yourself than in your eating disorder.