Sunday, January 2, 2011

Dessert!

I was asked recently to do a video on the topic of dessert. I think it's a really worthwhile and often overlooked topic, so I was happy to oblige. I will get to all other questions and suggestions as soon as I can. I have a list. :)

Hope everyone is having a wonderful start to 2011. Take a minute to consider "Dessert!"

5 comments:

happinessiswithinblog.com said...

I honestly feel worried about eating dessert after watching this now and i've been eating dessert almost every night while in recovery for the past 6 months. Since when is toast and PB dessert? I'm not trying to sound rude this was just an upsetting video !

Arielle Bair (Becker) said...

There's no need to feel worried about eating dessert - it sounds like you are doing great based on your comment and what I saw today on your blog. I'm sorry you felt this video underminded the confidence you have in yourself. This video was a response to those who write in asking for help with incorporating dessert for the FIRST time. You have been eating it and are doing well. Many viewers out there are looking for advice for how to start doing it without feeling bad. We all know that people with eating disorders don't just start out eating dessert out of the blue like it's no big deal. They don't start with "normal" sized portions for the most part. They work their way up to what is right for them. Toast and peanut butter may not be dessert to you, but to a person who has not had any kind of snack in her diet for a long, long time it is a very scary thing to eat.

Furthermore, moderation is not a bad thing. It means not restricting and not eating to excess. Those with bulimia struggle with moderation and not eating too much. Some may find that a small bowl of ice cream feels like too much because they are used to restricting and an anorexic mindset. Others, like those with bulimia and binge eating tendencies, may find it difficult to stop after one bowl. We are all different. This video was meant as a response to those first starting out and embarking upon the world of dessert in recovery.

The number one rule of recovery is Don't compare yourself to others! Don't compare your recovery to someone else's or second guess yourself. Keep strong and take care. :)

happinessiswithinblog.com said...

Thanks for your response!

To be honest, after I sent that comment it dawned on me that your video is for people with all different eating disorders and they are in different places in recovery! Which, giving advice to all those people is really REALLY hard to do.

For example, even when someone started talking to me about 'healthy restraint' (a term i heard tossed around when people are recovering from bulimia and binge eating) I took that to mean that restriction was healthy and i needed to do that to be "good". Eating disorders are very sneaky!

To be honest, I dont think you can really give advice for all types of eating disorders. Yes, there are similarities but they are also VERY DIFFERENT. Even the word "moderation" kind of triggers me. It makes me think that there are "good foods" and "bad foods". Like if xx is only to be eaten in "moderation" it must not be good for you--therefore I should not eat it OR I should feel guilty when I eat it.

I know eating dessert is REALLY scary to do when you havent in so long but I also think giving yourself PERMISSION to eat is really a helpful tool in recovery. I mean with Anorexia you have NOTHING but rules, rules, rules. I STILL have rules I cant seem to break. So for me, I feel like it's really important to learn how to allow myself to break those rules and not live conformed to them. So when someone says, you should eat "this in moderation" or only a "small" bowl of dessert--i feel like that is MORE RULES...and of course I listen to them.

The dietitian's i've worked with over the past year or so have really tried to encourage me to get out of the "rules" mentality. That xx should only be eaten in moderation. I guess because I have a tendency to take that statement so extreme that I will NEVER eat xx. You know what I mean? So they say things to me like "it's okay to eat dessert--have as much as you like, there is nothing wrong with that!". Of course I dont go and eat a pint of ice cream because that ISNT what I would like but it helps me feel less guilty about eating dessert. It sort of makes me feel guilty when someone says "this is good to eat in moderation". My old dietitian use to tell me I have "permission to eat whatever I want" all the time, I found that approach really really helpful. It's not like I ever listened but I would like to get to a point where I CAN listen to that and it made me feel better about eating.

happinessiswithinblog.com said...

Thanks for your response!

To be honest, after I sent that comment it dawned on me that your video is for people with all different eating disorders and they are in different places in recovery! Which, giving advice to all those people is really REALLY hard to do.

For example, even when someone started talking to me about 'healthy restraint' (a term i heard tossed around when people are recovering from bulimia and binge eating) I took that to mean that restriction was healthy and i needed to do that to be "good". Eating disorders are very sneaky!

To be honest, I dont think you can really give advice for all types of eating disorders. Yes, there are similarities but they are also VERY DIFFERENT. Even the word "moderation" kind of triggers me. It makes me think that there are "good foods" and "bad foods". Like if xx is only to be eaten in "moderation" it must not be good for you--therefore I should not eat it OR I should feel guilty when I eat it.

I know eating dessert is REALLY scary to do when you havent in so long but I also think giving yourself PERMISSION to eat is really a helpful tool in recovery. I mean with Anorexia you have NOTHING but rules, rules, rules. I STILL have rules I cant seem to break. So for me, I feel like it's really important to learn how to allow myself to break those rules and not live conformed to them. So when someone says, you should eat "this in moderation" or only a "small" bowl of dessert--i feel like that is MORE RULES...and of course I listen to them.

The dietitian's i've worked with over the past year or so have really tried to encourage me to get out of the "rules" mentality. That xx should only be eaten in moderation. I guess because I have a tendency to take that statement so extreme that I will NEVER eat xx. You know what I mean? So they say things to me like "it's okay to eat dessert--have as much as you like, there is nothing wrong with that!". Of course I dont go and eat a pint of ice cream because that ISNT what I would like but it helps me feel less guilty about eating dessert. It sort of makes me feel guilty when someone says "this is good to eat in moderation". My old dietitian use to tell me I have "permission to eat whatever I want" all the time, I found that approach really really helpful. It's not like I ever listened but I would like to get to a point where I CAN listen to that and it made me feel better about eating.

happinessiswithinblog.com said...

The dietitian's i've worked with over the past year or so have really tried to encourage me to get out of the "rules" mentality. That xx should only be eaten in moderation. I guess because I have a tendency to take that statement so extreme that I will NEVER eat xx. You know what I mean? So they say things to me like "it's okay to eat dessert--have as much as you like, there is nothing wrong with that!". Of course I dont go and eat a pint of ice cream because that ISNT what I would like but it helps me feel less guilty about eating dessert. It sort of makes me feel guilty when someone says "this is good to eat in moderation". My old dietitian use to tell me I have "permission to eat whatever I want" all the time, I found that approach really really helpful. It's not like I ever listened but I would like to get to a point where I CAN listen to that and it made me feel better about eating.