Day #13: Role Model Roll Call

I am so happy that this prompt occurs on Mother's Day (in the US). It feels so appropriate.

My role models are fantastic women and my mother is one of them. In the last few years, I've made THREE videos about my female role models and the people who I feel are part of my "sisterhood." Since the following videos can explain my role models better than pages of words could - and trust me, without the spoken word, you'd be reading PAGES - I'll direct you there and hope you watch.

The first video, from 2010, is one in which I talk about the women who have most influenced my life. I talk about all the beautiful characteristics they have NOT related to appearance and discuss what makes them special.  The second video, from 2011, is one in which I talk about my personal role models (women in my life). I re-mention a couple of the women I name in the first video, but I add several others of my "sisterhood" and go into more depth. The third video, from this year (2012), is one in which I talk about healthy role models of the world whom I love (those who are renowned, famous, or whom you may know too!).

*A video showcasing the WOMEN WHO'VE INFLUENCED ME THE MOST

 


*A video showcasing MY PERSONAL ROLE MODELS


*A video showcasing ROLE MODELS WHO ARE RENOWNED or WHOM YOU MAY KNOW

I hope you enjoy watching if you have the time. They're not terribly long and I hope they make you think about the women in your life who inspire you.

Miss Representation: My Take

I was lucky enough to go to a film screening of Miss Representation on Thursday night. I had seen the trailer and the extended trailer, and had also read lots of great posts and reviews of the film, so I was excited to finally see it in its entirety. I went with some of the women from the eating disorder support group I lead and the consensus was that it is an important film.

It touches on a variety of topics, from body image and eating disorders to violence against women to sexualization of women. The negative media onslaught is something of which I have long been aware, but to see the plethora of examples Miss Representation shows, it really got me fired up anew.

I don’t think I was alone in my thoughts and feelings of the film. One of the women with whom I saw the film said poignantly, “There was a point at which the film was discussing eating disorders and I started to feel isolated and almost ashamed like I would have if I were alone in the past...and then I realized I was sitting amongst three extremely intelligent, successful, and beautiful women who had either gone through or are still struggling with what I do and it made me feel really proud.” I find her statement to be extremely self-aware. I also love that the film - coupled with the experience of watching it with other, similar women – transformed her shame into pride in a matter of moments.

That's what solidarity can do, and solidarity was certainly a theme of the film.

I was somewhat annoyed when I heard male snickering from the audience at points during Miss Representation that were NOT meant to generate laughter, such as sexual images of women clearly being exploited or clips of men sickeningly taking advantage of women. I think it showed how true it is that “we live in a society of teenage boys,” as Carol Jenkins says in the film. To really understand what is meant by that quote, you have to see the film itself, as there is clearly nothing wrong with being a teenage boy, nor am I inferring that good mean don’t exist.

Another important quote from the film: “The more power a woman gains, the more backlash she receives.”

It’s true. Think about it for a few seconds. Think Hilary Clinton, Sarah Palin, etc etc etc etc. It doesn’t matter what your political affiliation – the misrepresentation of women in the media is a big deal. I also thought, for the most part, that the film did a great job with keeping the film bipartisan. Both Nancy Pelosi and Condoleezza Rice, for example, are interviewed in the course of the film, highlighting that this is a women’s issue, not a political issue. There is enough woman-hating out there without women doing it to each other, and the film did a good job of focusing on women as a sisterhood instead of pitting women against each other.

To find out where you can see the film, go here: http://missrepresentation.org/

The site also has a variety of ways to get involved, spread the word, and find out more. You can even take The Pledge.

Follow the movement and film celebrations on Twitter here: @RepresentPledge

If you’ve seen it, share your thoughts with me. I’d love to hear them. And keep using your voices!

Sisterhood and Recovery

Yesterday was International Women's Day. I'd like to say how much I appreciate all the wonderful women in my life and I'd like to applaud all the amazing women out there who are fighting hard in recovery. And thank you to all the men who support the women in their lives. This week's video is in honor of International Women's Day. Check it out:

A Common Bond

A friend recently informed me she had been reading this blog and that it really struck a chord with her. She hadn’t known about it and stumbled upon it randomly. She told me she read it avidly, every single post. She worried it was a violation of privacy, but I assured her it was a public site for a reason and I had no intention of hiding my battle with anorexia or my recovery from it.

I was extremely touched by her letter to me and very glad my blog had meant something to her, though she did not suffer from an eating disorder herself. She told me she had had some issues with food and body as well, and mentioned that she’d like to share her experiences with me. I can’t wait to have lunch with her and really talk.

It’s not that this friend didn’t know I had an eating disorder. She most certainly did. She just didn’t know I was writing about it, and then was unsure if I wanted her to find out that I was. Truth is, I want it out there. I feel it’s important. And a lot of people read it. And that’s okay with me. I have no problem talking to people about my past because it is a part of me and I have come a long way.

The topic of my eating disorder does not upset me. I examine my place in recovery every day in some form or another and I’m not afraid to talk about it, especially with people who want to understand. Really, a woman’s relationship with food is a more common thread between us all than we might realize. There are lots of different ways people use food, lots of different ways they cope, and lots of different ways they get healthy. I think it’s important to notice this.

My friend told me that she had her own journey to discover who she is and who she is with food. I like that she told me that. I feel closer to her just knowing she can relate to this blog. My friend also mentioned that she was worried about eating in front of me or about openly displaying her own habits she uses to keep herself healthy. As I told her, people don’t have to worry about eating in front of me or about the habits they use to keep themselves healthy. I have learned to not be triggered by these things. I will always be aware of eating disordered issues, but I can truthfully say that I consider myself recovered and I’m okay now. I would not have started this blog in the first place if I didn’t think I was strong enough to be someone who could help others. I’m great now! Happy, healthy, and very recovery-oriented. It doesn’t rule my life in the least, so to anyone who ever worried—I would say please don’t feel self-conscious about eating with me.

There was a time when I would have been uncomfortable to even go out to eat with any of my friends. That was a couple years ago now. For the last almost two years I’ve been actively recovering, gaining weight, staying healthy and fit at the same time, and working on learning about myself and my eating disorder. I’ve helped myself mentally. I’ve learned to live in the world at last.

In the letter my friend wrote me, she asked about my experience being mistreated by girls in middle school. And she had questions about the impact of my eating disorder on our own friendship. I tried to answer her as best I could. It’s often hard to come up with definitive answers in respect to eating disorders. At least that’s been my experience.

She was familiar with my middle school "mean girls" scenario. It messed me up for years even though I didn’t outwardly dwell on it much. I know she remembers. I didn’t realize how eating disordered this incident made me until later. It was definitely a weird kind of coping mechanism. The friend I’m speaking of was a great friend to me during that time and thankfully helped me cope in healthy ways along with my unhealthy ones.

I tried to get across to my friend that in the future, I’d be honored to be the listener if she wants to talk to me about her relationship with food. I think we can both understand each other well.

“I want to learn more than I already thought I knew,” she wrote to me. “ It's important as a woman and a future teacher, and as your friend.”

As I said to her, I think that’s wonderful. I feel that way too. It’s definitely a continuing goal of mine. And I so appreciate her saying it to me. It means so much and I’ve thought about that statement a lot since she wrote it to me a few weeks ago.

So, in closing, to my friend, I’d like to say: Thank you.

Here’s to honesty and sisterhood.