Wednesday, February 4, 2009

(Not So) Dear Eating Disorder---

I'm furious at all the things that rise within and break my wings. The pain is great, the room is small, and I'm within it, standing tall. Yes, here I am--I give a damn--I'll give this door one final slam. I'm stronger than the past that's been--I call the shots; I'll tell you when! And if you think, unwanted guest, that one day soon you'll get the best of this young woman, I won't rest until you truly, finally see that you're just you but I am ME! I've learned too much, I've traveled far, and I know what you really are--so don't you for one second think that you will find that tiny chink within my armor, within my soul--I'm on to you, I'm in control! And as I live and breathe today, I vow to conquer every way the little bit of you that's left--and trust me, I won't feel bereft. I know the feeling freedom brings and with some healing, I'll have wings that work and move and fly again--I call the shots; I'll tell you when!


That one's for me and for all of you.

10 comments:

pushthedaisies said...

Your blog makes me feel good;
and a bit silly because of my ways, even after reading your amazing posts.:]

pushthedaisies said...

Your blog makes me feel good;
and a bit silly because of my ways, even after reading your amazing posts.:]

Arielle Bair (Becker) said...

Thanks, pushthedaisies. :) I'm glad you leave here feeling good. Our recognition of our own silliness can be pretty helpful sometimes! Thanks for commenting.

Much love,
Arielle

Kyla said...

wow, this is powerful! On a writing note, I think it's really hard to pull off rhyming, and you did it! Anyway, way to use your voice against the scummy ED.

Arielle Bair (Becker) said...

Thanks, Kyla. Yeah, it's what I call stream of consciousness prose-poetry. :) I'm a writer and sometimes I like to write like this as opposed to more traditional poetry. It still rhymes, but it flows in a way I can't explain...and it's more of a spoken word thing, if that makes sense. Like...I could "perform" it better than it can be read. :)

Thanks again!

Much love,
Arielle

Afterglow05 said...

You're inspiring. It even makes me think that there may be hope...a light at the end of the tunnel perhaps?

Thanks Arielle!

Arielle Bair (Becker) said...

There IS hope. :) Stick with me, girl--I'll shove that hope in your face 'til you have no choice but to reach it.

Much love,
Arielle

Afterglow05 said...

I actually giggled at the thought of you shoving it in my face. That may be just what I need. :)

Arielle Bair (Becker) said...

Afterglow,

I am pretty funny when I shove things in people's faces. :) I don't exactly look scary. Haha.

Kaz said...

An amazing and intensely strong read. Love you my dear. <3

Thinking of you