Invest in You

7 years ago, in 2005, at age 20, I wrote a letter to myself as a child.

Arielle,

Don't be afraid. I'll carry you quietly, because you need complete and unconditional love--and my arms will be full of enough understanding that I won't have to use words.

I'll show you what it is to live for you and not for others and what they say and do. I'll let you cry when you need to without feeling ashamed and I'll comfort you like a blanket that soothes all your troubles, worries, and aching limbs. I'll let you stretch into a woman and prove to you how great it can be when you accept yourself and all the changes that go along with being you.

I'll travel great distances to listen to what you have to say. I'll never make you feel alone, unwanted, slighted, or misunderstood. I'll let you be mature when you want to be and I'll let you be a child when it helps you to heal. I'll make promises and I won't break them.

I'll brush your hair. I'll rub your back. I'll sing you songs. I'll nourish you. I won't suppress you--or second-guess you--or leave you. I am invested in you.

You are important to me...because you are me.

Love, Arielle 

I share this so that you can see how genuine and real and comforting it can be. I share this so that when I invite you to write a similar letter to yourself as a child, you'll know I walk the talk. Will writing a letter to yourself as a child heal all your pain? No. Will it be that magic recipe that sends that eating disorder packing for good? Probably not. But will it help? I hope so. It certainly can't hurt.

So, your mission - if you choose to accept it - is to find a photo of yourself as a child. Happy, sad, lonely, sweet, funny, silly, whatever it is! And look into that little face. And with it next to you, grab a piece of paper and write to YOU. Or prop it in front of your computer and start typing... and write to YOU. The little you.

Why? Because it can be hard to write loving things to the adult you, the current you. (It shouldn't be! But it often is!) But it's very VERY hard to write mean, self-hating, disappointed things to a child - even when that child is you.

Give that child what it needs. Say what you need to say. Say what you need to hear. Be real. Be genuine. Be loving.

You're Invited to a Celebration

Dear YOU (yes, YOU!),

You're amazing. Don't argue with me. Don't dispute it. It's a fact. You may be mentally rattling off all the reasons why you're NOT amazing right now, but for every one you can come up with, I have something to say about it. So you might as well just sit and listen for a minute. You might as well let your mind rest, especially if it's been in self-hate mode for a while.

If you're on your way to self-love, fantastic! I'm proud of you. If you've already found self-love, wonderful! It's great, isn't it? If you're still fighting your way to self-love, skeptical of whether or not that concept can ever exist for you, keep fighting. It's worth it. I promise.

But back to the ways in which you are amazing... You are here. That may seem like a silly, simplistic answer you don't think makes you amazing at all. But it does. Think about all the things you've faced in your life so far. Think about all the journeys, the hardships, the struggles, the pain. Then give yourself some credit for surviving it all. I bet it wasn't easy. Yet here you are. So that's pretty amazing.

Celebrate that this week. It's Eating Disorder Awareness Week. And I'm aware of you. Yes, you! You've made it this far. You're fighting. That's amazing. Or you've fought your way through and are doing well. That's amazing. Are you condemning yourself right now? Are you disappointed? Are you saying it's no big deal? Stop that way of thinking. Stop arguing with these words. In a nutshell, all I'm saying is that YOU ARE HERE. And that's cool. So why put energy into discrediting that?

Your energy can be better served elsewhere. Trust me. And you are so worth it. If anything is worth that energy, you are. So don't break yourself down. Don't sell yourself short. Don't give up on yourself.

Celebrate you. Yes, you!

I'm going to celebrate you. You can join me or not. It's your choice. But I'm going to celebrate you and you're invited. If I'm going to celebrate you, then YOU really should be there too, don't you think?

So come on, celebrate you. Yes, you!

Dear Readers, You're Not Alone

Now that National Eating Disorder Awareness Week has come to a close, there is a letter I'd like to share. It's a Thank You letter written by me... to all of you.

Dear readers,

Whether you are in the depths of despair, chugging along in recovery, maintaining new health and wellness, are a fellow activist, a worried parent, or a concerned friend or significant other, THANK YOU for coming here. Thank you for reading and listening. Thank you for recognizing that an eating disorder is not something of which to be ashamed, but something that requires help and support, like many other things in life. Thank you for trying, day to day.

You are not alone.

I'm on the other side of this screen, sending out positive energy and thoughts to everyone who needs them most. And out there are hundreds of other girls, boys, men, and women who are taking this journey with you. Eating Disorders feel lonely. They isolate you. They push others away. They make you feel like there's no one but you and the disease. It's simply not true. For every pair of eyes reading these words, there are dozens of others out there trying to win the same fight.

Keep your chin up, even when it feels like your head is being pushed under water.
Take one day at a time - there is no other way to do recovery.
The eating disorder might be your reality - but you can change your reality.
YOU CAN CHANGE YOUR REALITY.
Some people don't know that. Some people realize it too late. Some people don't understand the concept.

It's true. You can change your reality. It doesn't have to be this way.
And you can start today.

With love, encouragement, and understanding,

Possible Today and Every Day

I posted this for the first time in October of 2007. It was one of the first things I wrote on this now popular blog. I called it "Possible."

Consider it a mantra, a proclamation, or just...hope.

Recovery is possible.
It's not a guarantee. It's a possibility. It's not simple. It is difficult and sometimes seems impossible. It's not a one-step process. It's a multi-step process complete with twists and turns and bending roads...and roads you didn't even know were there. It's not the same for everyone. It's not always a happy process. It's not always a sad process. It IS empowering. It's not about pleasing other people. It is not about them. It's about YOU. It's not about perfection. It IS about emotion. It IS about honesty. It IS about self-discovery and self-affirmation. It's not about what you don't have. It's about using what you've got. It's not about hiding. It's about finding and displaying. It's not a quick-fix. It's a lifelong plan set into motion by truth and nurturing and self-love. It's not about external factors or environment. It IS about what's within. It is not crazy. It IS real.
Recovery is possible.

Voices Unite!

Eating Disorder Awareness Week is almost over! What have you done for the cause?

It doesn't have to be something BIG.

If you wear an awareness ribbon, bracelet, or shirt, you are supporting the cause. By facilitating discussion over these items, you are spreading the word.

By telling your story, sharing your desire to help, or providing resources to those in need you are doing a great service.

If you are simply reading and re-posting important recovery related info, you are doing a great job of keeping the heart of ED Awareness Week beating strong!

Don't stop now. There are still 3 days left.

The sweet author of Butterflyshapes just did a post on me and I'm ever grateful and very honored. You can check out her blog and the piece here: Wednesday Warrior.

Keep using your voices, everyone!

Day 4 of Eating Disorder Awareness Week: Maintaining Recovery!

Accept Yourself, Accept Others

It's an important message - to accept yourself and others. It MEANS something.

And we should all strive to do it. This simple mantra is ANAD's (National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders) message during Eating Disorder Awareness Week and every other day of the year.

Yesterday, I posted about their website and their Awareness Week page.

 I would love to see more bracelets like this worn by the masses. It can represent whatever you want it to represent for your personal recovery, but the meaning is clear.

I mentioned these awareness bracelets that can be purchased by way of a donation to the important cause. I have one.

  I've had one for some time now. I wear it often.

Eating Disorder Awareness Week is still young! And my voice will still be heard when the week comes to a close. How about you?

Get Involved, or Just Get Ready for Recovery!

ANAD (National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders), the organization with which I am affiliated for the support group I lead, etc. has a great page devoted to Eating Disorder Awareness Week.

-You can get involved in a number of ways.
-You can get ready for recovery by printing their Awareness Week calendar of music to listen to and activities to do.
-You can donate to the cause.
-You can order some really awesome awareness bracelets, one of which I wear almost every day.

There are a plethora of other pages on ANAD's website as well that do not directly relate to Awareness Week. Check it out. You'll be glad you did!

Keep the Hope Alive

Well friends, it's the last day of Eating Disorder Awareness Week - but this does not mean that the awareness should end. This is a week set apart from others. It is a time to devote voices and advocacy to a worthy cause. It is a time to talk about a subject which many keep closed inside of them.

But it can be like this any day, every week. It certainly is in my world. In my life. On my blog. Take ED Awareness Week with you and don't let it go. The heart of eating disorders is silence. Break the silence.

On that note, I'd like to share with you the most recent post from a fabulous little blog called Weighing the Facts. Mrs. Menopausal, the blog's author, did a post entitled Eating Disorders and Body Image Advocates and Why They Blog. She posted a link to my blog with a little write up, but she also shared a few other bloggers' links - and some of them are really fabulous. So check her out and check them out - today and every day!

You Are Not Alone

Eating Disorder Awareness Week is coming to a close, and I've been trying to post related things all week (though I guess one could argue my whole blog is related). Today, I'd like to share with you a neat little site that was brought to my attention by a friend.

It's called You Are Not Alone and basically you can sign up to get a free support letter every month to give you encouragement on your path to recovery. It's sort of what I try to do here on my blog much more often than once a month, but this site is cool because it's an actual letter, sent to your email on a monthly basis. Every little bit of support helps, right?

The other cool thing is that there are resource links on this site, as well as a Free Stuff page, where different things get posted. Right now, there's a song by Shannon Cutts you can listen to (and a link to buy the CD the song is from).

Just found it a nice little resource I hadn't heard of before. Hope you are all having a fantastic week!

Eating Disorder Awareness Week!

As many of you know, this week is Eating Disorder Awareness Week! It's a time to celebrate recovery and a time to remember those who've been lost to their illness.

I'm going to be holding an Eating Disorder Awareness Fundraiser and Vigil this spring (it's far too cold here in PA to have one this week and many organizations have vigils throughout the year), so for now I want to leave you with a bunch of resources and awesome websites.

SpoonFedArt - awesome site - you will love it! - an artist who recovered from an ED sells BEAUTIFUL pendants made from spoons - I have one!
ANAD - lots of great resources here - including hotline and help finding support groups in your area and other listings - it's the organization I'm affiliated with to run my support group
WeRFreEDomFighters - the YouTube recovery collaboration I'm a part of on a weekly basis - you know, my "Wednesday Warriors" videos - there's some awesome stuff on there and new videos get put up each day with brand new topics
EDC - The Eating Disorders Coalition has lots of ways you can help out with awareness, prevention, and change!
Gurze Books - an excellent resource for all eating disorder relating books
ArielleLeeBair - my YouTube channel - 90% of all videos there are ED recovery related - the other 10% are just personal or family related!
Love Your Body - the Love Your Body campaign holds events and sells great and creative stuff to promote loving your body
NEDA - another worthy organization that has a plethora of resources, including a hotline
Light a Candle - You can light a virtual candle for a survivor or a lost loved one here - no need to leave your home or find a vigil near you


When I hold my event in the spring (definitely more information on that to come, as soon as I have all the details) this is one of the things I will be reading to the public. Take it to heart today and have a wonderful and important week, everyone.

ANAD Pledge

I will accept myself as I am.

My uniqueness is a badge of honor, something to be proud of. There is no one in the world quite like me and I will strive to develop my special skills and abilities.

I will accept others as they are.

Each person is special and different. I will to try to learn from these differences rather than be critical of them.

I will support diversity and freedom of expression in

the way people think, look and live.

There is no single standard of “rightness,” rather we live in a world of individuals, each of whom provides a different answer. Through our differences humanity continues to evolve.

I will not tolerate physical or mental abuse.

There is NEVER a reason for people to hurt other people and I will do my utmost to prevent such abuse. We are all equal and deserve the same thoughtful consideration.

I will actively work to change media programming and advertising

that exploits or demeans the human body.

Setting standards of physical “perfection” is harmful to everybody. The media needs to understand that real human beauty lies in our differences, not our similarities.

I will work to improve the lives of individuals, communities

and the environment.

As a responsible member of society, I understand that the more good I do for the people and places around me, the better off everyone will be. We need to think not only of today, but of tomorrow and our children’s future.

I will support good health through proper nutrition, regular

exercise and adequate sleep.

Good health enables us to achieve success in life— at work, at home and in our
personal relationships.

Hold your heads high, keep reaching for recovery, and celebrate yourselves!