Happy Tuesday, all! This is a poem I wrote in the summer of 2003. I marvel that I had the right idea even 4+ years ago to write this. It took me a while to work things out in my own head and heart, but eventually, in years to come, I took my own words to heart. I wrote this to myself--the good part of myself. Here's to hoping this poem will mean something to you. I know so many of you understand.
Anorexia Versus You
Like “Am I okay or not?”
Unwilling to give myself
Or my own mind a shot.
*
I let It claw at me with nails
That could cut without much force;
I let It strangle me with passion
And I scream until I’m hoarse.
*
You try to pull me back,
Keep me safe from all It’s pain,
But sometimes I look away from you
And It just snatches me again.
*
You tell me I can beat It
And I know that this is true…
It has no power over me
If I’m with someone like you.
*
I know you try to help me
And I argue and I cry…
I wish I could explain It;
I wish I could tell you why.
*
I want to cling on tightly
And make you save me from it all,
But no matter how I try
It’s inevitable that I fall.
*
I know I’m disappointing
And I know I must be strong,
But it’s hard to give up something
That has held you for so long.
*
One day I will be rid of It;
It will be all in the past--
It’s something I’ll break free from,
But you’re something that will last.
*
It’s the last thing I should choose
And it’s the last thing I should do;
I keep holding on to It
When I should be holding on to you.
(c) Arielle Lee Becker 2003
2 comments:
Wow!
Your poem's amazing...so true. And I feel I can relate to it...(I won't say why)
If you're someone who's experienced anorexia you can express it much better than I feel I can!
Well done.
Anonymous,
Thank you for the kind words.
I'm glad you could relate to the poem and I hope you'll visit the site again. Yes, I struggled with anorexia for some years, and now this is a recovery blog where I share and write about eating disorders in the hopes of reaching others.
I hope you have a great end to your week, anonymous, and please come back again.
Much love,
Arielle
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