Expressions of Gratitude

Crisis: Coping with Transition; Coping with PTSD

I have been continuing the 4 week rotation on crisis. Week one, I talked about Crisis in the form of loss of a support team or member of your support team. Week two, I talked about Crisis in the form of the death of a loved one or a large scale disaster (like a hurricane). Below are the videos for weeks 3 and 4. 

Coping with Transition or a New Place:



PTSD:

Thanksgiving Message from Arielle

If today is hard for you, the message below is for you. It's my annual Thanksgiving message, and regardless of whether you're an American who celebrates this holiday or are living elsewhere, the message is still relevant. Take care of yourself, be kind to yourself, and celebrate how far you have come today. It's all about gratitude.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Coping with Disaster and Death While Recovering from an Eating Disorder

This week's video is an important one if you have ever struggled (or are struggling) with loss of any kind. The second half of the video is key.

Hero?

My dear, delightful, and beautiful friend Tracey surprised me the other day by nominating me for the 2012 Health Activist Hero Award at WEGO Health. I visited Facebook to find that she had posted the nomination link and a message suggesting people vote for me in a variety of different groups and on my own Facebook wall.

Other friends and followers have joined in too and I am ever thankful. The page to nominate someone is here:
http://info.wegohealth.com/health-activist-awards-2012/ and the specific award would be Health Activist Hero if you want to follow Tracey's lead. :-)

I'm honored to be nominated and want you to know that regardless of any award recognition, I will never stop using my voice to support you, teach you, and advocate for you.

Thank you again!

When Friends Don't Understand Your Eating Disorder

Due to Hurricane Sandy, I was without power and unable to give you a Wednesday video this past week. Next week, all will continue as planned. I hope everyone is safe and warm. I did do a guest post for Libero Network which was posted on Wednesday, though, so I thought I'd share that with you, albeit a bit late:

Here is a snippet. You can read the rest by clicking the link:

When Friends Don’t Understand
Your Eating Disorder

by Arielle Lee Bair

---

At the beginning of 2011, I received a message that prompted a lengthy response from me and has since generated a lot of discussion. I often refer back to my response to the original message, because I have been asked similar questions time and time again. Sometimes friendships and relationships can be so emotionally charged that it’s difficult to see things objectively. And as many of us know, sometimes eating disorders muddy the waters of friendships even further. Below is the original (shortened) message and my response, with the hope that it will give some clarity to others who are dealing with the same dilemma.


(Read the full post at Libero Network...)

There are also some related video links posted there as well. Thanks to Lauren Bersaglio for featuring my post. Libero Network is full of resources.

Body Flaws

Comparisons

Insecure

Something completely different for your Wednesday Warrior video this week: slam poetry from Arielle. It's doubling as a Wednesday Warrior video and a video in my new Poetry Series, simply because it can! We're currently doing a 4 week rotation on Acceptance, and this week's specific topic is Insecurities.

Enjoy! Take your power back!

More Recovery Questions: Recovered and the Now

Finishing up the 4 week rotation on recovery questions:

Ways to COPE!

Tried and true (and specific) ways to COPE, with a spin. :-)

Mastering Self-Awareness

Self-awareness is a funny thing. It molds us, shapes us, teaches us, and impacts us. Without self-awareness, we cannot learn about ourselves. Without learning about ourselves, we cannot grow. Without growth, we remain stagnant and unfulfilled.

The thing about self-awareness is that it is not always pleasant. Sometimes we notice things about ourselves that we would rather push back under the rug. Sometimes we discover things that make us say, “Aha!” and revelation breaks through pain. Other times, self-awareness is uncomfortable. We become aware, maybe reluctantly...maybe even accidentally...and then we must face ourselves. We must look in that figurative mirror and ascertain what to do with what we see there.

I will not be so bold as to say that I have mastered self-awareness, but in the last several years I have become adept at seeing myself, knowing myself, and using what I see and know to live a life that feels right for me. I have also learned that self-awareness and writing go hand in hand most of the time, at least for me. I am able to process through feelings, observations, and discoveries – and by the time pages have been filled up with words, I feel I have learned a lesson or come to terms with whatever is at hand.

In a way, self-awareness is like telling yourself your own story – but without the flowery language, the sugar-coated details, and the rose-colored glasses. “Sit down right here, Arielle, and let me tell you the story of you today. Let me explain to you how this affects you, why this affects you, and what it all might mean.” That’s sort of how my mind works through whatever is present on a given day. Sometimes it’s a matter of using all my strength to push away a boulder that’s in my way so I can see the light behind it. Sometimes it’s like unraveling knots in otherwise smooth yarn. Sometimes I must open a door I would rather keep closed.

But self-awareness makes for a better person, and I’ve come to see self-awareness as an adventure. Sometimes you like it and sometimes you don’t. But you’re taking the journey with yourself. Sometimes it’s a bumpy ride. Sometimes it’s a smooth one. You are both the driver AND the passenger.

Though I am of course learning lessons every day, I feel that I have a keen and sharp sense of self. Why? Self-awareness. If I can be an expert of nothing else, I want to be an expert of ME.

Allow me to go back to the door analogy. “Sometimes I must open a door I would rather keep closed.” We are complex individuals – each and every one of us - and it is perfectly natural for even the most put-together, happy-go-lucky, and self-assured people to shy away from self-awareness at times. The smallest things in every day life factor into self-awareness. Self-awareness doesn’t have to be about life-altering, game-changing instances. It doesn’t even have to be about problems. At the core, self-awareness is simply about emotions. That’s it. Emotions.

Emotions fuel reactions.
Emotions fuel actions.
Emotions determine mood.
Emotions guide decisions.

Emotions, it turns out, are incredibly important.

 But sometimes they feel larger than we are. Sometimes we don’t want to believe them. Sometimes we pretend they don’t exist. Sometimes we embrace them in order to escape other, scarier ones. There are as many scenarios as there are emotions.

But as a pioneer of your own self, you go forward. So, you open that door you would rather keep closed. And you back away, off to the side, not quite ready to deal with what may be behind it. You might stand aloof, listening while pretending not to listen. Or maybe it’s the other way around – perhaps you pretend to listen to what’s behind that door, all the while still not yet invested. You keep your distance, but you still opened the door, so it’s not like you’re not paying attention, right? It’s not like you’re not being self-aware, right?

But then, something calls to you. You don’t want to face it, but you’re ready to listen. So you stand tentatively, your ear pressed to the open door.

And now you’ve been drawn into the journey. You wait, listening, maybe even arguing with yourself. “Do I really feel that way?” “Of course I don’t feel that way.” “Or do I?” “That’s not how I operate!” “Can it be true?” “That’s not why I act the way I do!” You’re so close to whipping your head around to the other side of the open door, to give what’s waiting there a piece of your mind... but that would mean you have to face it... and not all the things we learn about ourselves feel good.

And then, eventually, with a little gasp, you let yourself not only hear it, but recognize it, whatever it is. “I guess I AM jealous of that person.” “Maybe that IS why I get so angry about that.” “I wish I hadn’t done that. I guess I really DO regret it.” “Wow – I wanted to think I was, but I’m NOT okay with it.” Then wide-eyed and nodding, you’ve stopped the denial/defiant ego/self-pity/awkwardness.

And you know what you must do. You began this self-awareness thing. You opened that door. Now you’ve got to face whatever is back there.

And even though it might not make you jump for joy or grin ear to ear, it’s usually never as bad as it felt at first. And by staring through that door into whatever is there with 1) a little confidence, 2) the reminder that you’re human, and 3) the desire to learn about yourself, you’re one step closer to being a master of self-awareness.

The intricate workings of ourselves deserve time, attention, appreciation, and care. You can’t give any those things to yourself if you’re working behind a closed door. Open it. And even if it takes a while, don’t be afraid to look inside.

More Recovery Questions: Challenges and Strengths

How Did You Recover? and Other Questions...

This week's Wednesday Warrior video is a response to several questions and the beginning of a new 4 week rotation (so stay tuned!). 

MORE About Who You Are and Can Be!

Who Are You and What Do You Want?

That's right. You heard me. Check out this short 4 and a half minute video for some important questions to lead you in the right direction and give you that little boost.

Questions for the Self

This week, I encourage you to ask yourself these questions:

• What do you most want to change? 

• What do you think you could easily do differently...and what's stopping you? 

• What does freedom mean to you? 

• And what do you need to put into place to achieve it? 

• Who are your supports? 

• How can you utilize them more than you are currently? 

 

• What are your most toxic elements in life? 

• How can you better distance yourself from them? 

I really invite you to have a conversation with yourself, even write down your responses to form new goals and plans, and to envision a better year. Later on in the week, I will delve into these questions in more detail, but before they can be discussed, pondered, and used for reflection and re-framing, you first need to ask them. So start... and I will follow up with some food for thought. 

These questions were meant to be the topic of this week's Wednesday Warrior video, but due to some overwhelming time constraints, I haven't been able to film a video in time to have it up for Wednesday. You'll either get a video a few days late (hate to do that - I'm always on time!) or a detailed blog post on this topic (these important questions) by the weekend. Either way, don't pass them off as too general, too basic, or too silly. Far too often, we forget to ask ourselves the really important things, the things that shape recovery and LIFE.

What IS Motivational Speaking?

Motivation is the desire to do things. What those "things" are is up to you. A definition for motivation is:

the act or an instance of motivating,  or providing with a reason to act in a certain way

I like to think that I do both of those things - that Actively Arielle: A Voice with a Commitment and everything this site, the videos, Twitter, and beyond stand for is pure and simple motivation.  In any case, that is my goal. Motivational speaking, broken down, is very basic, guileless, honest, and pure. It is not some grandiose thing that sets someone apart from the rest of the world. 

To me, motivational speaking is about you. For you. 

As for the speaking aspect of the term motivational speaking, there are many different ways to speak. Through spoken word, through video, through typed words on a screen, through images and declarations of encouragement...

Actions speak. And then they motivate.

Which means... (that's right!)... YOU can motivate too. 

Your Life Raft

Today, I thought I'd bring back a little post I first wrote 4 years ago by plumping it up, by revisiting it, by remembering it.. Today, I spoke to a group of women about eating disorders. We got on the very broad topic of 'this world in which we live.' It's a difficult place for people...especially for women. We throw around these terms: "society," "the media," "the diet industry," etc. And none of these things cause eating disorders. Eating disorders are mental illnesses. Yet, there are a lot of things out there that perpetuate the idea that it's all about the way you look. That it's all about what you wear, what size you are, how much you weigh... That it's all about your appearance.

Well I have news for you: there is a lot more to you than that. A LOT. And I hear you - I know you're being told left and right that there isn't. So it's hard to know what to think. I get that. And that's why: Appreciating Yourself is Your Life Raft in the Waters of Criticism.

That was the title of my 4-year-old post.

It’s easy to get swept up in the swirl of the world. You go to school or work and you see and hear things that make you feel inadequate. There are a lot of things out there that influence us, whether we like it or not. And in a lot of ways, it can be a good thing. Many of us have friends with whom we have a great time, family about whom we love and care, and things we enjoy doing, watching, or reading. And that’s okay. 

But when you already feel a certain way and suddenly you can feel that something around you is pulling you to feel another way, you need to stop and think for a minute. A minute is all it takes. You’ve heard the advice: “Go with your first instinct.” Well, in this case, you usually should. If something you see or hear or read makes you second guess how you FEEL about yourself, it’s best to examine it. 

Don’t get me wrong—it’s great when we see or hear or read something that makes us question our thoughts or our knowledge about something. It’s good to be open to other opinions, possibilities, and viewpoints. We can learn a lot by paying attention to the world around us. Just don’t let something make you feel like less of a person if you didn’t feel that way before.

If your peers are telling you something negative (that you’re fat, ugly, etc.) or worse—if your friends (which is questionable to say the least) are saying things that make you feel bad about the way you look—don’t let them bring you down to a place where you want to change to please them. Working to please others or to make others like you is no way to live and is, frankly, a recipe for disaster. At the end of the day, all you have is YOU.

Not all criticism is constructive.

Appreciating yourself is your life raft in the waters of criticism.

 

For girls and women, especially, life can become a competition. You want to be pretty, you want to be smart, you want to be thin. You want to make sure you are as good as everyone around you. Sometimes it can feel hard to measure up. Sometimes the people you’re trying to measure up against TELL you that you aren’t good enough in some way. You’re not pretty enough. You’re not smart enough. You’re not thin enough. Your clothes aren’t nice enough. Your job isn't good enough. Your grades aren't good enough.Your haircut isn’t cute enough. The list can be never-ending.

You’ll never be able to please everyone. And you’ll never be able to hold yourself above the water if you let other people pull you under. And drowning is a horrible way to die.

Really, it’s all about survival. You can’t let people--or things you see, hear, or read--get the better of you. If you read in a magazine that being a certain size makes you somehow less appealing to the world at large, but you felt okay about your size before you read it, listen to your first instinct—that you are fine the way you are. Don’t buy into the negative pull. If your friends, school peers, co-workers, and/or family say something that makes you feel negatively about yourself, just remember that what they say doesn’t determine what you are. And for everyone who says something that makes you feel bad, there may be just as many people who see you as great in a lot ways.

If you see an ad on TV and it makes you wonder if you should try to change yourself in some way, don’t let something you see for two minutes on TV influence you into thinking you’d be better off looking different. You have your own mind; use it.

Appreciating yourself is your life raft in the waters of criticism.

You write your own story. You can change anything you want or choose not to change. And you can add a new chapter whenever you feel like it. You don’t need something external telling you what and how to change. All throughout your life, people are going to offer their opinions whether you like it or not. Sometimes a person’s opinion will help you…and sometimes it will hurt you. It’s up to you to learn the difference. In fact, there are a lot of things out there in the world that can help us…and there are just as many things that can hinder us. A minute of thought can make a world of difference when it comes to deciding whether or not to think negatively about yourself.

When it comes right down to it, no one else anywhere is YOU. You are the only you. There’s no one out there like you. So you can’t go wrong looking the way you do. You can’t go wrong being what you are. You are you and that is the way you were meant to be. It’s okay and natural to feel unsure about the way you look sometimes, or to feel unsure about the things you think or do, but if you’re feeling good about yourself, don’t ever let anyone make you think differently. When you give in to a negative thought about yourself, you’re relinquishing a little piece of yourself. If you continue to do that, pretty soon you’ll have surrendered a lot of pieces. You’ll be weaker and more unsure than ever.

Appreciating yourself is your life raft in the waters of criticism.

It can get pretty difficult dealing with lots of things and people around you, especially if they are undermining your confidence in yourself. But you know what? It takes a very strong person to make it through and come out on top—to come out feeling okay. To come out knowing you are great just the way you are. To come out better because you know this.

Don’t give up on yourself. You have all the power.

How great is that?

YOU have all the power.

 

And you are beautiful - outside, inside, and everywhere in between. Just as you are.

Eating Disorder Recovery: Confidence vs. Pride

This week, I'm happy to share a piece by Lauren Bersaglio over at Libero Network.

I love showing you that there are other positive recovery voices out there besides my own, so I asked Lauren if she'd write about CONFIDENCE and she delivered! In fact, her piece goes so perfectly with my Wednesday Warrior video for this week that I had to post it immediately.

Take it away, Lauren!



 "

Pride:

“A high or inordinate opinion of one's own dignity, importance, merit, or superiority, whether as cherished in the mind or as displayed in bearing, conduct, etc.”*

Synonyms: conceit, egotism, vanity, vainglory

Confidence:

“Belief in oneself and one's powers or abilities; self-confidence; self-reliance; assurance.”*

Synonyms:  faith, reliance, dependence

(*definitions found at: dictionary.com)

When Arielle asked me to write on confidence I realized that when it comes to recovery it is difficult to discuss confidence without also discussing pride. See, in recovery there are two voices in your head – your destructive, Eating Disorder voice (commonly referred to as ED); and your constructive, Recovery Voice (this represents your true self). 

Confidence – that’s Recovery language; but Pride, well that’s ED language.  

And when we are fighting off our inner demons, our sense of self is typically not at its highest – and this is when we have the greatest opportunity to develop confidence; however, this is also when we are most vulnerable to developing pride. 

Why is ED so bent on us developing pride? Wouldn’t he prefer we remain insecure? 

Yes and no. Yes, ED would prefer for us to remain insecure; however, it is possible to be insecure while also being prideful. According to the definition offered above, Pride is based on a “[disproportionately high] opinion of one’s merit or superiority”, and in recovery this causes more harm than good.

Pride does not tell you to persevere on the hard days because it would never admit to having a ‘hard day’; it does not tell you that you are worth more than the way you are living, because it sees the way you are living as just fine; it does not tell you that you can have a better life and that others can help you get there, because it does not need others. Instead, it tells you that the hard days ‘weren’t hard at all’, that the way you are living is no worse than anyone else, that your life is just fine, and that you most definitely do not need to seek the help of others – you’ve got this covered on your own, right? 

These are all lies. Lies that keep you in denial. Lies that keep you chained to ED. 

Before I entered into recovery for my Eating Disorder, I was insufferably proud. Despite my lack of confidence, I still believed I knew better than everyone else, that I didn’t need help from anybody else, and that there were a whole lot of people far more screwed up than I was. And even when times got hard (and even downright frightening), I didn’t seek out help – because I was better than that, because I was ‘stronger’ than that. 

Little did I know that this Pride was only keeping me weak. 

And it wasn’t until I got the strength to let go of my pride that I was able to move forward in recovery and gain my life back. 

I was completely defeated – lying on the couch crying, weak, and hungry – and I knew I had nothing to lose, unless I stayed where I was, then I had my entire life to lose. And I realized it was my pride that had taken me to that place. That place where no one, and I mean no one, knew what was going on.

So slowly I began letting go of my pride. I told my professor, and then I staged my own intervention (yup, no jokes). And as I sat there in my living room, surrounded by family and close friends – most of who hardly knew the severity of what was going on – I said: “I don’t want to stop. But I want to want to stop. And I need your help.” 

They stayed with me for three hours that night – praying for me, listening to me, and encouraging me. And it was in that moment that the pride I had been holding on to so tightly began to disappear and confidence moved in to take its place. 

Confidence told me that I did deserve better than how I was living. It told me that I had been wrong, but that was OK, because now I was on the right path. It told me that I could recover, and that I was worth it, too. And most importantly, it let me know that it was ok to ask for help. 

Along with my pride also went my vanity. 

See, with ED I fluctuated between seeing myself as ugly and horrible, to seeing myself as All That. Vanity led me to the scale, tape measure, and mirror dozens of times a day. Vanity led me to compare myself to every other girl in the room. Vanity took away my True Beauty. 

But now (despite what some may think because of all my Instagram headshots!) I am not vain, but I do have confidence. I love myself for who I am, and the way that I am. I have learnt to accept my body (which was not easy, but was SO worth it). Now, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t have my moments of insecurity (I am, after all, only human), but it is this newly found confidence that is able to shout even louder than these lies and shoot them down before they can settle in.

And so my question for you is this: are you proud, or do you have confidence? 

If you are letting Pride control you, you need to realize this is what ED wants. So start fighting back, because YOU are strong, YOU are beautiful, and YOU are worth recovery…and you CAN do it - be confident in that!  

Here are some ways you can begin letting go of your pride:

•          Be honest with yourself when you are having a rough day and reach out to someone
•          Tell your counsellor/therapist about your recent slip-ups/relapse
•         Develop self-awareness: don’t stay in denial of the existence or severity of your struggles
•         Share your struggles with a trusted friend or family member and receive their support – remember, this doesn’t mean you are weak, this means you are strong and confident enough in yourself that you know accepting help from others doesn’t threaten who/what you are
•         Avoid things that feed into vanity: stop comparing yourself to others, stop obsessing over your appearance each morning before you leave the house, stop thinking you’re ‘All That’ – because you know when the pendulum swings the other way, you’ll be calling yourself ugly. Instead, see yourself as Beautiful (inside & out)

Here are some ways to begin developing confidence: 

•        Allow others to build into your life and show you who they see you as: beautiful, strong, capable 
•         Accept compliments, and believe them
•        STOP weighing/measuring yourself. Just stop. NOW. There is no reason to do this unless it is under professional supervision (and then you may even be able to request to not be told what the numbers are)
•        Spend time looking at yourself in the mirror. Really. But not in the way you used to – look in the mirror and point out all the things you LOVE about yourself. But the minute EDs critical voice begins to whisper, WALK AWAY
•        Write down things you love about yourself & inspiring reminders and post them on ALL of your mirrors, your fridge, your door etc… 
•         Listen to music that gives you a sense of worth, confidence, & strength. Some of my favourites: “Beautiful” by Christina Aguilera, “Hello” by Christina Aguilera, “The Voice Within” by Christina Aguilera, “Skyscraper” by Demi Lovato, “Believe in Me” by Demi Lovato, “The Middle” by Jimmy Eat World, “Concrete Girl” by Switchfoot.

 "

Thanks for sharing your thoughts and insights, Lauren. I'm proud of you - and I mean that in a completely positive way. ;-) I'm also confident that you will continue to do great things.

 

Lauren Bersaglio is the Founding President & Editor of Libero Network (www.liberonetwork.com) – an online magazine & resource site for those recovering from eating disorders, depression, addiction, anxiety, and abuse. Lauren also writes on her personal blog www.laurenbersaglio.com. You can contacter her at: laurenb[at]liberonetwork.com and follow her on Twitter @lauren_b_sag

How to Celebrate Your Good Qualities and Confidence

This week's topic continues our 4 week rotation all about YOU.

Last week, I talked about 

Today's video touches on: How to Celebrate Your Good Qualities & Talents - It's okay to be proud of yourself, to think you're SMART, FUN, THOUGHTFUL, MUSICALLY TALENTED, ATHLETIC, etc. And it's even okay to celebrate it!!!! Don't sell yourself short, but also don't pretend you're less than you are just because you think it's more socially acceptable! There is a difference between being self-absorbed and self-confident!

TA DA!

Each year, for the anniversary of the site, I typically give it a fresh look. Well, ACTIVELY   ARIELLE won't turn 5 until October, but instead of waiting 2 more months, I decided to give the site its new look today.

I decided to keep the same words in the header, but opted for a new pic with more of a smile to fit with the positive atmosphere. :-) I also changed up the colors, going with a more simplistic look, where the words and images shown here will have to speak for themselves.

I wanted to steer away from anything too busy or distracting. I want this to be a calm space, waiting for whoever chooses to visit. I want this to be a clean, fresh, unmarred space with energy on the pages.

In other news, I'm hoping to showcase some new Recovery Cats in the coming weeks. Currently, there are 33 delightful cats, all available on a variety of products (magnets, mugs, art prints, photo prints, greeting cards, postcards, mousepads, and coasters!).

The Print Shop is here: Arielle's Recovery Cats.

Recovery is the cat's meow. :-)

Exit to Make a Return to Yourself

My fabulous friend Tracey, at Just As I Am, has been facilitating a great blogging program for interested bloggers in recovery. The weekly prompts can be found at Blogging for Wellbeing and it's a wonderful way for the eating disorder recovery community to gain support, share wisdom, and use their individual voices!

This week, I wanted to pop into the Blogging for Wellbeing mix with a little something.

Last week's blog prompt was "Self" and this week's is "Beauty." To me, those two go together, creating a union that is unstoppable. When I saw each of the blog prompts, I was reminded of a poem I wrote some years ago. Though the title of it is "Exit," it's really about beginning anew. "Exit" refers to leaving one thing in order to jump full-force into something better. To me, it's about the self and it's also about beauty... beauty OF the self, beauty of life, beauty of the power within. Thanks, Tracey, for reminding me of this poem and for the opportunity to share it with others.

Exit

Exit—here I go,

I’m leaving like a flash of light

That shone once and was gone.

Safer to go than to stay,

Better to learn than to wait,

I’m going.  I’m flying.

Exit—here I go,

I’m leaving and I’m coming back

A new woman.

Out of my life and into my dreams,

Born once again,

I’m running away.

Exit—here I go,

I’m leaving like a gust of wind

You feel only for an instant.

I’m ready to jump,

I’m ready to fall,

I’m ready to go.

Exit—here I go,

I’m leaving and I’m coming back

A new woman.

To care for myself,

To leap into the unexpected,

To grow like a flower in the rain.

Exit—here I go,

I’m leaving like the moon leaves

In the morning light.

Like rain that falls from full clouds,

My thoughts cascade and flow

Into carved paths time digs into the ground.

Exit—here I go,

I’m leaving and I’m coming back

A new woman.

Leaves fall and bloom again in spring;

So do our spirits fall, only to again

Be replenished with happiness.

Exit—here I go,

I’m leaving like the seeds

Leave the swaying trees.

Like a seed, bursting from earth

So I have grown too,

A flower not yet fully blossomed.

Exit—here I go,

I’m leaving and I’m coming back

A new woman.

Promise is there—

The promise to experience

With a face upturned toward the sun.

Exit—here I go,

I’m leaving like yesterday

That turns into tomorrow.

Exit—here I go,

I’m leaving and I’m coming back

A new woman.

© Arielle Lee Bair 2006