Finishing up the 4 week rotation on recovery questions:
Showing posts with label questions. Show all posts
Showing posts with label questions. Show all posts
Wednesday, October 3, 2012
Wednesday, September 12, 2012
How Did You Recover? and Other Questions...
This week's Wednesday Warrior video is a response to several questions and the beginning of a new 4 week rotation (so stay tuned!).
Tuesday, August 28, 2012
Questions for the Self
This week, I encourage you to ask yourself these questions:
- What do you most want to change?
- What do you think you could easily do differently...and what's stopping you?
- What does freedom mean to you?
- And what do you need to put into place to achieve it?
- Who are your supports?
- How can you utilize them more than you are currently?
- What are your most toxic elements in life?
- How can you better distance yourself from them?
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Don't Miss Out!
Just a quick reminder that I consistently do more videos than are posted here on the blog. In order to get notified of all the videos I do, please subscribe to my YouTube channel. I typically post on this site the Wednesday Warriors videos I make for a YouTube recovery collaboration, but that is a separate channel from my own and only a small portion of the eating disorder videos I create. I make recovery videos regularly- motivational, advice, and otherwise - and also respond to viewer questions, so make sure you're not missing out. :)
http://www.youtube.com/arielleleebair
http://www.youtube.com/arielleleebair
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Meals, Appetite, and a Few Suggestions
Allison asks,
“I recently fell into a relapse, and am trying with all my strength to pull myself out of the tailspin. I have begun eating again, but I can't help but feel the overwhelming feeling of failure every time I take a bite. I think about how ashamed I feel to be the size I am all day. I know that logically, the failure is in me NOT eating, rather than the other way around, but my disordered thinking won't let me be logical. How do I turn things around into being proud of myself for not restricting?”
I usually say “fake it ‘til you make it.” If you know that logically the right thing to do is eat and be proud of yourself, try to just do it without letting your mind make you do other things. If you begin to get down on yourself for eating, remind yourself that you are accomplishing SO much and that the more you eat, the better you will feel mentally and physically. Initially, the annoying things your head tells you are there, but the more you keep up with a routine of eating, the better you will be able to cope with that eating disorder voice.
You could start a rewards system for yourself to help associate feelings of pride with the right actions. For example, if you eat a meal, tell yourself you will get 15 minutes of downtime and pick something to do that you find enjoyable, fun, or relaxing. Or go bigger – if you eat 3 meals a day, reward yourself with something. If you do it for a week or more, allow yourself a gift. The rewards can be anything you want them to be – an hour surfing the internet instead of doing work, a new pair of shoes, etc. But if you set yourself to succeed and be kind to yourself after you’ve done so, you’ll be training your brain to understand what’s really worth it.
I’d also suggest my cell phone trick – if you haven’t heard me talk about it before, check it out here. You could use a message like, “Keep going – recovery is worth it” or something similar instead of what I suggest in that post. It might do the job nicely for some encouragement you don’t have to think about giving yourself.
-------------------------------------------------------
Ally asks,
“I am in recovery, and have been for a year. I am doing pretty well as far as not restricting. However, when I get stressed, I tend to lose my appetite. I know now to eat when I feel hungry, but what if I don't get hungry? I have also learned to not eat if I'm not hungry, so I can prevent binges. I don't ever intentionally not eat meals nowadays, but sometimes just realizing I haven't eaten that day can push me to think ‘Just a little more.’ and triggers me. How do I deal with loss of appetite?”
First – congrats on being in recovery for a year now. I think a lot of people tend to lose their appetites when they are stressed, myself included. Can you schedule time for your meals? I know it seems a bit like back-tracking to earlier in the recovery process, but it might help, especially if you’re stressed right now. That reminder to eat will help you to eat at times you know you should, whether you’re hungry or not. Set your cell phone to alarm at 8, noon, and 6 or whatever times work for you for meals – it can be like your “dinner bell” and remind you that you need to eat, even if you don’t feel hungry. Sometimes you have to go through the motions even if your heart isn’t in it, because unfortunately, if you don’t go through those motions, you might end up back in eating disorder land, even if it wasn’t your intention.
You don’t have to remember to set your alarms each day – do it now and set it to remind you daily. Then you can just focus on what you need to do and rest assured that, hungry or not, your phone will tell you when it’s time to eat.
As far as that triggering feeling when you do unintentionally skip a meal, you can try the tips from my response to the first question. Anything you can do to reinforce the positive stuff is always a step in the right direction.
You might find these old videos of mine helpful - they deal with the question: "Is it ever okay to overeat or skip meals in response to disturbing feelings? Normal eaters may reach for a candy bar when having a bad day, but they know eating is not a magical remedy for the downside of life. What distinguishes them from those with eating problems is that it is not a part of their everyday eating pattern. They dont beat themselves up, eat in secret, feel shame afterwards or swear to eat differently tomorrow. Their self-concept, self-esteem and general attitude have nothing to do with their behavior around food. Your (the viewers) work is to trust that youll gradually move towards eating more normally, and only rarely, eat or refuse food when youre upset (with absolutely no remorse!). The truth is it takes a lot of practice to sever the connection between feelings and feeding."
Is It Okay? Food & Feelings PART ONE
Is It Okay? Food & Feelings PART TWO
For those of you out there who are trying to figure out what being hungry really means and what good eating practices are, these videos of mine might help:
How to Eat When Hungry & Stop When Full PART ONE
How to Eat When Hungry & Stop When Full PART TWO
Like with the first question, if you can reward yourself in some small way for eating your meals, it will help you push through those times of lack of appetite. You have to push on through – especially when stress levels are high.
“I recently fell into a relapse, and am trying with all my strength to pull myself out of the tailspin. I have begun eating again, but I can't help but feel the overwhelming feeling of failure every time I take a bite. I think about how ashamed I feel to be the size I am all day. I know that logically, the failure is in me NOT eating, rather than the other way around, but my disordered thinking won't let me be logical. How do I turn things around into being proud of myself for not restricting?”
I usually say “fake it ‘til you make it.” If you know that logically the right thing to do is eat and be proud of yourself, try to just do it without letting your mind make you do other things. If you begin to get down on yourself for eating, remind yourself that you are accomplishing SO much and that the more you eat, the better you will feel mentally and physically. Initially, the annoying things your head tells you are there, but the more you keep up with a routine of eating, the better you will be able to cope with that eating disorder voice.
You could start a rewards system for yourself to help associate feelings of pride with the right actions. For example, if you eat a meal, tell yourself you will get 15 minutes of downtime and pick something to do that you find enjoyable, fun, or relaxing. Or go bigger – if you eat 3 meals a day, reward yourself with something. If you do it for a week or more, allow yourself a gift. The rewards can be anything you want them to be – an hour surfing the internet instead of doing work, a new pair of shoes, etc. But if you set yourself to succeed and be kind to yourself after you’ve done so, you’ll be training your brain to understand what’s really worth it.
I’d also suggest my cell phone trick – if you haven’t heard me talk about it before, check it out here. You could use a message like, “Keep going – recovery is worth it” or something similar instead of what I suggest in that post. It might do the job nicely for some encouragement you don’t have to think about giving yourself.
-------------------------------------------------------
Ally asks,
“I am in recovery, and have been for a year. I am doing pretty well as far as not restricting. However, when I get stressed, I tend to lose my appetite. I know now to eat when I feel hungry, but what if I don't get hungry? I have also learned to not eat if I'm not hungry, so I can prevent binges. I don't ever intentionally not eat meals nowadays, but sometimes just realizing I haven't eaten that day can push me to think ‘Just a little more.’ and triggers me. How do I deal with loss of appetite?”
First – congrats on being in recovery for a year now. I think a lot of people tend to lose their appetites when they are stressed, myself included. Can you schedule time for your meals? I know it seems a bit like back-tracking to earlier in the recovery process, but it might help, especially if you’re stressed right now. That reminder to eat will help you to eat at times you know you should, whether you’re hungry or not. Set your cell phone to alarm at 8, noon, and 6 or whatever times work for you for meals – it can be like your “dinner bell” and remind you that you need to eat, even if you don’t feel hungry. Sometimes you have to go through the motions even if your heart isn’t in it, because unfortunately, if you don’t go through those motions, you might end up back in eating disorder land, even if it wasn’t your intention.
You don’t have to remember to set your alarms each day – do it now and set it to remind you daily. Then you can just focus on what you need to do and rest assured that, hungry or not, your phone will tell you when it’s time to eat.
As far as that triggering feeling when you do unintentionally skip a meal, you can try the tips from my response to the first question. Anything you can do to reinforce the positive stuff is always a step in the right direction.
You might find these old videos of mine helpful - they deal with the question: "Is it ever okay to overeat or skip meals in response to disturbing feelings? Normal eaters may reach for a candy bar when having a bad day, but they know eating is not a magical remedy for the downside of life. What distinguishes them from those with eating problems is that it is not a part of their everyday eating pattern. They dont beat themselves up, eat in secret, feel shame afterwards or swear to eat differently tomorrow. Their self-concept, self-esteem and general attitude have nothing to do with their behavior around food. Your (the viewers) work is to trust that youll gradually move towards eating more normally, and only rarely, eat or refuse food when youre upset (with absolutely no remorse!). The truth is it takes a lot of practice to sever the connection between feelings and feeding."
Is It Okay? Food & Feelings PART ONE
Is It Okay? Food & Feelings PART TWO
For those of you out there who are trying to figure out what being hungry really means and what good eating practices are, these videos of mine might help:
How to Eat When Hungry & Stop When Full PART ONE
How to Eat When Hungry & Stop When Full PART TWO
Like with the first question, if you can reward yourself in some small way for eating your meals, it will help you push through those times of lack of appetite. You have to push on through – especially when stress levels are high.
Sunday, October 17, 2010
My Responses to YOUR Answers to My Why Video
I know it's been video land lately on my blog, which is funny, because my first love and main staple is writing. I guess it's easier for me to just post videos on days that I am busy (which seems to be every day lately!) because I already have a commitment to make them anyway.
I posted a video not too long ago, in which I asked you why you felt that you couldn't achieve the same recovery I have. It's something I hear so often and I was trying to challenge that. I received so many responses, as comments on YouTube, as emails, as messages, and as comments on here - so I began making a video to address your answers to my question. It turned out to be two videos, and now seems like when all is said and done it will be three videos. :) Three parts, that is.
So, here are Part One and Part Two of My Responses to Your Answers to My Why Video. Part Three will be on its way by the end of the week.
PART ONE:
PART TWO:
I posted a video not too long ago, in which I asked you why you felt that you couldn't achieve the same recovery I have. It's something I hear so often and I was trying to challenge that. I received so many responses, as comments on YouTube, as emails, as messages, and as comments on here - so I began making a video to address your answers to my question. It turned out to be two videos, and now seems like when all is said and done it will be three videos. :) Three parts, that is.
So, here are Part One and Part Two of My Responses to Your Answers to My Why Video. Part Three will be on its way by the end of the week.
PART ONE:
PART TWO:
Saturday, September 25, 2010
The Age Old Question
People have been asking me lately: "Are the thoughts really gone?" And the answer is: "Yes!" But what does a one-word answer really do for someone who wants to know the details of the essence of it all? So today, I'm going to direct you to a post of mine from one year ago. If you've read it before, read it again. Understand my main point: being "recovered" isn't about always being happy 100% of the time—it's about knowing what to do when you're not.
The old post, called Are the Thoughts Really Gone? can be found here.
The old post, called Are the Thoughts Really Gone? can be found here.
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Is This As Good As It Gets?
Definitely check this one out - this week I discussed the topic:
You're eating healthily, exercising moderately and taking good care of yourself, people assume you are doing well, but inside its still hard -- How do you stay strong? (and is this as good as it gets?)
You're eating healthily, exercising moderately and taking good care of yourself, people assume you are doing well, but inside its still hard -- How do you stay strong? (and is this as good as it gets?)
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Monday, July 5, 2010
The Final Installment of "So, What's Your Story?"
Here's the last installment in my memoir videos. You can find PART ONE here, followed by PART TWO here, followed by PART THREE here. Hope you have enjoyed getting some answers to your questions. :)
Saturday, April 24, 2010
Question # 21: When You Feel You've Exhausted the Topic
An anonymous reader recently wrote:
"Hi Arielle :) I'd really appreciate if you could give some advice on what to do when you feel you exhausted the subject of your ED with a friend, or family, in my case my boyfriend, yet you still feel like you do need to talk about it sometimes."
I'd start off by asking yourself a few simple questions.
Why do you feel you've exhausted the subject? Is it because of a reaction you get? Or is it because of a reaction you're afraid you'd get? Don't let fear get in the way of your needs.
Also: Do you feel misunderstood? Do you feel like you're not being heard? Is it putting a strain on the relationship or are you just afraid it will?
Make sure you assess your particular situation. It's very important.
Talking about your eating disorder is not something you can give yourself a limit for. You can't say, "I will only talk about it 3 times this week and if I've reached my max and need/want to talk about it again, I won't." It doesn't work that way.
If you feel you are holding something in, it will put even more of a strain on your relationship and on yourself.
Remember that having an eating disorder is like many other things. If someone comes home every day and says, "I had a bad day," because they dislike their job, they are saying the same things regularly and you wouldn't tell them to be quiet.
It's true that it can be hard for people to listen to things about eating disorders (or your eating disorder in particular) on a constant basis. Just be aware of how often you talk about it and how they might feel. Also be aware if you are repeating yourself a lot. Where do you hope to get with bringing up the eating disorder?
You know as well as anyone else that listening to someone complain on a regular basis is not fun. So ask yourself if your eating disorder talks are productive or therapeutic or helpful. If they are just complaints, they aren't helping you or the person listening to you.
Also remember that your partner or friend is not your therapist. Some things are better discussed in therapy. There is a difference between requesting support or acknowledging something, and having a mentally draining conversation frequently. It's really hard for some people to listen to certain things that therapists are more accustomed to hearing. Not everyone is equipped to be able to deal with everything. If you're not in therapy, consider it. Could be you need that outlet to get your thoughts out and right now only have a special person in your life to discuss these things with and it's becoming too much.
That said, needing to talk about the eating disorder is normal and silence will not get your far in recovery. If you hesitate to speak up when you need to because of another person, you may need to evaluate your relationship with the person. If they are not willing to listen or will not try to understand why you need to keep talking about the eating disorder from time to time, the problem may be the relationship.
Anyone recovering from an illness or addiction needs support, and if you are not getting support in the right quantities or in the right ways, you need to be honest with yourself.
For some people, keeping a journal is enough to make them feel better. For others, talking about struggles and thoughts are necessary. If you are constantly wishing you could talk about something, but don't, your relationship is not healthy...and neither is your recovery.
Any successful relationship needs good communication. And any successful relationship needs support flowing both ways. Do you have these things?
It may be that the person with whom you are in a relationship is not able to give you the support you need. This happens. Some people can not give us what we wish they would give us. It is not necessarily the fault of the person and there is not necessarily anything you can do to change the relationship dynamic. Sometimes it's just about acceptance, which can be very hard. Always put yourself in the other person's shoes and try to understand what they are hearing from you and how it might make them feel. BUT don't do this at the cost of your own well-being. PLEASE remember that compromise is a solution, NOT completely giving up your desire to talk about something. If you keep quiet for someone else's sake because you feel or they feel that you have exhausted the subject, you are really cheating yourself.
Be aware.
Be thoughtful.
Be willing to compromise.
But do not be silent.
Your recovery will suffer.
"Hi Arielle :) I'd really appreciate if you could give some advice on what to do when you feel you exhausted the subject of your ED with a friend, or family, in my case my boyfriend, yet you still feel like you do need to talk about it sometimes."
I'd start off by asking yourself a few simple questions.
Why do you feel you've exhausted the subject? Is it because of a reaction you get? Or is it because of a reaction you're afraid you'd get? Don't let fear get in the way of your needs.
Also: Do you feel misunderstood? Do you feel like you're not being heard? Is it putting a strain on the relationship or are you just afraid it will?
Make sure you assess your particular situation. It's very important.
Talking about your eating disorder is not something you can give yourself a limit for. You can't say, "I will only talk about it 3 times this week and if I've reached my max and need/want to talk about it again, I won't." It doesn't work that way.
If you feel you are holding something in, it will put even more of a strain on your relationship and on yourself.
Remember that having an eating disorder is like many other things. If someone comes home every day and says, "I had a bad day," because they dislike their job, they are saying the same things regularly and you wouldn't tell them to be quiet.
It's true that it can be hard for people to listen to things about eating disorders (or your eating disorder in particular) on a constant basis. Just be aware of how often you talk about it and how they might feel. Also be aware if you are repeating yourself a lot. Where do you hope to get with bringing up the eating disorder?
You know as well as anyone else that listening to someone complain on a regular basis is not fun. So ask yourself if your eating disorder talks are productive or therapeutic or helpful. If they are just complaints, they aren't helping you or the person listening to you.
Also remember that your partner or friend is not your therapist. Some things are better discussed in therapy. There is a difference between requesting support or acknowledging something, and having a mentally draining conversation frequently. It's really hard for some people to listen to certain things that therapists are more accustomed to hearing. Not everyone is equipped to be able to deal with everything. If you're not in therapy, consider it. Could be you need that outlet to get your thoughts out and right now only have a special person in your life to discuss these things with and it's becoming too much.
That said, needing to talk about the eating disorder is normal and silence will not get your far in recovery. If you hesitate to speak up when you need to because of another person, you may need to evaluate your relationship with the person. If they are not willing to listen or will not try to understand why you need to keep talking about the eating disorder from time to time, the problem may be the relationship.
Anyone recovering from an illness or addiction needs support, and if you are not getting support in the right quantities or in the right ways, you need to be honest with yourself.
For some people, keeping a journal is enough to make them feel better. For others, talking about struggles and thoughts are necessary. If you are constantly wishing you could talk about something, but don't, your relationship is not healthy...and neither is your recovery.
Any successful relationship needs good communication. And any successful relationship needs support flowing both ways. Do you have these things?
It may be that the person with whom you are in a relationship is not able to give you the support you need. This happens. Some people can not give us what we wish they would give us. It is not necessarily the fault of the person and there is not necessarily anything you can do to change the relationship dynamic. Sometimes it's just about acceptance, which can be very hard. Always put yourself in the other person's shoes and try to understand what they are hearing from you and how it might make them feel. BUT don't do this at the cost of your own well-being. PLEASE remember that compromise is a solution, NOT completely giving up your desire to talk about something. If you keep quiet for someone else's sake because you feel or they feel that you have exhausted the subject, you are really cheating yourself.
Be aware.
Be thoughtful.
Be willing to compromise.
But do not be silent.
Your recovery will suffer.
Friday, March 12, 2010
Question # 20: Taking Responsibility & Being Real
KRYSTAL left a comment a couple of months months ago (sorry it's taken me so long to get to your questions, Krystal!) and I'm going to break them up up into 2 parts to respond. First:
"Thanks for your videos, Arielle. I am just now catching up on them (of course, after the holidays are over)! One thing I have been struggling with lately is a realization that I may really not be the nice person I always thought I was. People have always thought of me as a really nice person. I have been able to find numerous flaws in my personality, but whenever I have had a "mean" moment, I have written it off and blamed it on depression, ED, or whatever stress was going on at the moment. I have been pretty negative and downtrodden lately about my realization that maybe I am just not as nice of a person as I have always thought.
On the brighter side, I am going to take some of your advice from your video "Appreciating What You DO Have Instead of Trying to Change What You've Got". I am going to blog about some things I am thankful for, maybe every day if I can find the time to get on my blog. I am also going to look for some good quotes to frame - I loved those quotes in your bathroom - awesome!"
Okay - you've probably heard the saying "You are your own worst critic" before, but let me talk about that for a second. We can all find flaws in our personalities, and not one of us is perfect. We can strive for perfection, we can strive to be nice, but we may never live up to our expectations. If you are looking for flaws, you will find them. You can keep in mind that you are only human - without making excuses for yourself. You don't always have to be one extreme or the other. By that I mean, you don't have to either be a horrible person or a perfect one. It doesn't work that way. You are who you are and you will change in many ways as you grow as a person.
That said, a part of recovery is definitely taking responsibility for your actions. So if you think you've been making excuses for yourself based on depression, stress, or your eating disorder, perhaps you are. But it doesn't mean those things are not a factor in why you are not able to be as nice as you wish to be.
I think being honest with ourselves is a difficult thing at times. As you say,you're downtrodden lately about the realization you may not be as nice of a person as you originally thought. If this is a true assessment, I can imagine it's rough. But keep in mind that many things can alter one's perception, and one of those things is an eating disorder. Your very sense of self could be askew. The way you view yourself could be completely off. The best thing to do is examine your actions, thoughts, and feelings - and see where they lead you. If you can recognize that you are not feeling like a nice person for valid reasons, you will be better able to change that.
The best advice I can offer is akin to what you are already doing. The more positive reinforcement you have around you, the more positive you will become. Surround yourself with the right things, and you will see a change. You can help your mood, you can help your "niceness." So definitely frame some positive quotes - and put them where you can see them on a daily basis. Make that list of things you're thankful for - and while you're at it, make a list of all the positive attributes YOU possess.
Might be hard at first... but don't let it slide. Complete a list. And add to it as you think of more positive traits. We all have them. Dig for them.
Krystal continues:
"On another note, I have been struggling with the decision on whether to blog about ED stuff. I was bulimic for so long and it was such a big part of my life, but since I was mostly normal weight, not a lot of people knew about it unless I told them. A lot of the new people I know have no clue I ever struggled with ED. I feel like blogging about it sometimes, but don't know if it would change things between me and my newer friends, or make things weird between us. . . What has been your experience? Sorry if you have already blogged or done a video about this. If so, you can just direct me there. . .Thanks."
I think blogging can be very therapeutic. Whatever you want to disclose to the public is up to you. Do only what you feel comfortable doing. If you want, start out small and see how it feels. See what kind of feedback you get. You don't have to tell your whole story all at once. You don't even have to give a backstory if you'd rather not. You can simply write your thoughts, and if some of those thoughts happen to be eating disorder thoughts, put 'em in there.
Your blog is your space. No one can tell you what to write. But if you constantly feel you are censoring yourself, it doesn't make for as therapeutic an experience. You know? Furthermore, if you are refraining from putting some honest bits of yourself out there because you're worried about what other people will think, say, or do - you're giving in to something that will not help you. That mentality is only going to hurt you. That is no way to live your life.
My two cents: I'd rather have a friend who's being real than a friend who's not.
Can I promise you one of your new friends won't ask questions? No. Can I promise you one of them won't shy away and act strangely? No. But as you've probably been told many a time, if they are really your friends, they'll still be your friends when they know more of your story. Don't let fear back you up against a wall.
I have met and befriended a lot of people since I recovered. Do I start having full blown conversations about my disorder with them? No. But do I blog about it? Obviously, yes. I'm not ashamed. And if someone will think differently of me because of my past, that is on them, not on me. Go in with the right attitude and you will not be disappointed.
Best of luck!
Videos of mine from the last year or so you might find helpful:
Friendships & Eating Disorders: Gaining Perspective Part 1
Friendships & Eating Disorders: Gaining Perspective Part 2
Addressing Trust and Friendships
Perfection & Imperfection
Telling, Fielding, and Dealing
Learning to Like Yourself
Stop Pretending & Start Being Real
"Thanks for your videos, Arielle. I am just now catching up on them (of course, after the holidays are over)! One thing I have been struggling with lately is a realization that I may really not be the nice person I always thought I was. People have always thought of me as a really nice person. I have been able to find numerous flaws in my personality, but whenever I have had a "mean" moment, I have written it off and blamed it on depression, ED, or whatever stress was going on at the moment. I have been pretty negative and downtrodden lately about my realization that maybe I am just not as nice of a person as I have always thought.
On the brighter side, I am going to take some of your advice from your video "Appreciating What You DO Have Instead of Trying to Change What You've Got". I am going to blog about some things I am thankful for, maybe every day if I can find the time to get on my blog. I am also going to look for some good quotes to frame - I loved those quotes in your bathroom - awesome!"
Okay - you've probably heard the saying "You are your own worst critic" before, but let me talk about that for a second. We can all find flaws in our personalities, and not one of us is perfect. We can strive for perfection, we can strive to be nice, but we may never live up to our expectations. If you are looking for flaws, you will find them. You can keep in mind that you are only human - without making excuses for yourself. You don't always have to be one extreme or the other. By that I mean, you don't have to either be a horrible person or a perfect one. It doesn't work that way. You are who you are and you will change in many ways as you grow as a person.
That said, a part of recovery is definitely taking responsibility for your actions. So if you think you've been making excuses for yourself based on depression, stress, or your eating disorder, perhaps you are. But it doesn't mean those things are not a factor in why you are not able to be as nice as you wish to be.
I think being honest with ourselves is a difficult thing at times. As you say,you're downtrodden lately about the realization you may not be as nice of a person as you originally thought. If this is a true assessment, I can imagine it's rough. But keep in mind that many things can alter one's perception, and one of those things is an eating disorder. Your very sense of self could be askew. The way you view yourself could be completely off. The best thing to do is examine your actions, thoughts, and feelings - and see where they lead you. If you can recognize that you are not feeling like a nice person for valid reasons, you will be better able to change that.
The best advice I can offer is akin to what you are already doing. The more positive reinforcement you have around you, the more positive you will become. Surround yourself with the right things, and you will see a change. You can help your mood, you can help your "niceness." So definitely frame some positive quotes - and put them where you can see them on a daily basis. Make that list of things you're thankful for - and while you're at it, make a list of all the positive attributes YOU possess.
Might be hard at first... but don't let it slide. Complete a list. And add to it as you think of more positive traits. We all have them. Dig for them.
Krystal continues:
"On another note, I have been struggling with the decision on whether to blog about ED stuff. I was bulimic for so long and it was such a big part of my life, but since I was mostly normal weight, not a lot of people knew about it unless I told them. A lot of the new people I know have no clue I ever struggled with ED. I feel like blogging about it sometimes, but don't know if it would change things between me and my newer friends, or make things weird between us. . . What has been your experience? Sorry if you have already blogged or done a video about this. If so, you can just direct me there. . .Thanks."
I think blogging can be very therapeutic. Whatever you want to disclose to the public is up to you. Do only what you feel comfortable doing. If you want, start out small and see how it feels. See what kind of feedback you get. You don't have to tell your whole story all at once. You don't even have to give a backstory if you'd rather not. You can simply write your thoughts, and if some of those thoughts happen to be eating disorder thoughts, put 'em in there.
Your blog is your space. No one can tell you what to write. But if you constantly feel you are censoring yourself, it doesn't make for as therapeutic an experience. You know? Furthermore, if you are refraining from putting some honest bits of yourself out there because you're worried about what other people will think, say, or do - you're giving in to something that will not help you. That mentality is only going to hurt you. That is no way to live your life.
My two cents: I'd rather have a friend who's being real than a friend who's not.
Can I promise you one of your new friends won't ask questions? No. Can I promise you one of them won't shy away and act strangely? No. But as you've probably been told many a time, if they are really your friends, they'll still be your friends when they know more of your story. Don't let fear back you up against a wall.
I have met and befriended a lot of people since I recovered. Do I start having full blown conversations about my disorder with them? No. But do I blog about it? Obviously, yes. I'm not ashamed. And if someone will think differently of me because of my past, that is on them, not on me. Go in with the right attitude and you will not be disappointed.
Best of luck!
Videos of mine from the last year or so you might find helpful:
Friendships & Eating Disorders: Gaining Perspective Part 1
Friendships & Eating Disorders: Gaining Perspective Part 2
Addressing Trust and Friendships
Perfection & Imperfection
Telling, Fielding, and Dealing
Learning to Like Yourself
Stop Pretending & Start Being Real
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Question # 19: Wishing You'd Never Come Clean About Your ED
JULIA asks:
"I came forward without prodding; no one knew about my EDNOS except for me. Am I still allowed to have days when I wish I'd never said a word? How can I deal with those feelings?"
I finally got a new webcam so you can actually hear how I REALLY sound without that lispy, snake-like Ssss noise, so I thought I'd respond via video. It's a short one, and I realize I don't offer any earth-shattering advice, but it's my thoughts on the matter nonetheless.
"I came forward without prodding; no one knew about my EDNOS except for me. Am I still allowed to have days when I wish I'd never said a word? How can I deal with those feelings?"
I finally got a new webcam so you can actually hear how I REALLY sound without that lispy, snake-like Ssss noise, so I thought I'd respond via video. It's a short one, and I realize I don't offer any earth-shattering advice, but it's my thoughts on the matter nonetheless.
Monday, February 15, 2010
Question # 17: Trapped & Tied...Am I Ready?
SUZANNA WHITE writes: "My question kind of goes with the art: '...trapped and tied to your disorder'
(The Healing Room by Shawna Atkins)
(The Healing Room by Shawna Atkins)I think as the days go by, I want less and less to recover. Did you have this same feeling when you were in recovery? I desperately want to go back to how things were when I was at overtaken by my eating disorder, and most days I feel like trying to recover was my biggest mistake. I kind of just want to know I'm not a freak. Do you ever step on the scale? I am just not ready to stop weighing in--maybe I'm just not ready for recovery?"
I can't tell you whether you are ready for recovery - only you can make that decision. But I can tell you that I understand your current stage. It's almost... apathetic? I've felt that way in the past. Going back to how things where when you were overtaken by your eating disorder is the easy way out. It's also giving up - because it's only a matter of time before going back to the beginning becomes giving up on life. Your life won't be your own and more importantly, it may not even exist in a few months or years. I know this is what practically everyone preaches - that you need to stop or you'll die. But it's true. There aren't really old women anorexics out there. You either recover or you die. I know it's blunt, but it's true.
You're not a freak. Wanting to give up on recovery does not make you a freak. I think many of us feel that way at some point. You're certainly not alone. Letting go and giving everything back to your eating disorder would feel like a sense of relief, right? It's less work, it makes your mind feel better, etc. But that's because your mind has an illness. You have to understand this to get anywhere.
If recovery was easy, there wouldn't be therapists, nutritionists, support groups, self-help books, treatment centers, and other resources. And yes, you do have to CHOOSE recovery - it's not going to choose you... but all that means is making the decision to live or die - because even if you're still breathing while you have your eating disorder, you're still not really living.
An eating disorder is a slippery slope. You give in once, you're falling fast. You give in twice, you're falling hard. You give in three times, you're falling down into a big dark hole. And it's going to be even harder to get out. Going back to it only seems easier than this whole recovery thing right now - but it's really not. That's all in your head.
Do I ever step on the scale? Yeah, I do. At the doctor's office when I go for my regular appointments. I didn't even have a scale in my house for the first 3 years after college. Scales do not matter to me. I do have one now. I do get on it...maybe a few times year? I don't care that it exists. I let a scale back in my life when I knew it wouldn't affect me any longer. If you came to my house and said you had to take it, I'd say, "Sure, go ahead." It's just a thing. Before it used to be power. Control. Numbers. Self-worth. Constant, multiple-times-per-day evaluation. That was years ago. I'm done with that. It's no way to live!
You can be ready for recovery and still be scared of the scale. You can be ready for recovery and still step on it. But one of these days you're going to have to make the conscious effort to stop and say, "This is it. This isn't helping me. I'm done. Maybe in a few years I can be around a scale again, but that is not today."
And tell yourself to cut the crap. You either want to be rid of your eating disorder or you don't. In my humble opinion, you wouldn't be reading my blog OR submitting a question for me to answer if you didn't on some level want to be rid of your eating disorder. This is a recovery blog. I give advice, support, help, and motivation for recovery from an eating disorder. It has never been anything but that and I have never pretended otherwise. You know this. And therefore, on some level, you want to recover.
Are you ready? As I said, I don't know. I can't answer that. But you can. And you will. At some point, you will. Maybe you're not ready to answer that question you've put to yourself, because you know that if you do you will have to start putting more effort into recovery. Maybe you're just afraid of a life without an eating disorder as part of your identity. Whatever it is that's holding you back, sit with it. Reflect on it. And remember, recovery is possible. You can do it if you really want it.
Yes, there was a time I felt like you. But now I feel like me. And I'd much rather feel like me. Feeling "trapped and tied" to something gets old pretty quickly... and you deserve better.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Question # 16: Forbidden Foods & What It's Really About
The next question comes from Kia. She asks:
"In these years of anorexia, I've stopped eating a lot of different foods (most of them, except fruits, vegetables, yogurt and meat), and some of the foods I've stopped eating, they have become some kind of 'forbidden': I still can't eat some of them (such as pizza, ice-cream, hamburgers, wrustel, etc...), while I eat hardly some others... So, I wanted to ask you: have you lived something similar? If yes, have you solved the problem, or are there 'forbidden' food to you, right now? Moreover: how did you solve this problem? How can you resist to put out again some foods from your nutrition?"
It may surprise you to know that I have no "forbidden" foods. I also have no "safe" foods. I eat everything, and I do mean everything. I'm not even a picky eater. There are a few foods I naturally dislike like creamed corn, french onion soup, and scallops, but I've disliked them since childhood. Other than those and a very few others, I eat anything and everything.
When I was dealing with my anorexia, I definitely ate very few foods. I had certain foods that I considered safe - usually low calorie foods. I had such little variety in my diet it was amazing (actually boring is a better word). I also had, as you call them, "forbidden" foods. At one point, I wouldn't eat anything with fat content. I had to have fat-free everything. I wouldn't eat sweets. I wouldn't eat hamburgers. The list went on and on.
I had to re-learn what it means to eat. I used food as a coping mechanism. As a form of control. There were problems behind the food - food wasn't really the problem. Once I was able to deal with the problems, I was able to realize that food was just food. It's what eating disordered individuals strive to learn every day - that food is just food. What a concept, you know? But it's true - food is to nourish and to be enjoyed. It's not a violent entity. It's not a weapon. It's not a punishment. It's not a reward. It just is.
I also had to slowly re-introduce foods that I had previously given up. Foods that used to scare me, I had to bring back into my diet one by one. It's really as simple as that. I can't promise you won't have moments of freaking out or feeling bad, but keep pushing through.
The following video can answer this question better than anything else I can say, and surprisingly enough it was this week's "Wednesday Warriors" video for the ED recovery collaboration on YouTube. Check it out! :)
"In these years of anorexia, I've stopped eating a lot of different foods (most of them, except fruits, vegetables, yogurt and meat), and some of the foods I've stopped eating, they have become some kind of 'forbidden': I still can't eat some of them (such as pizza, ice-cream, hamburgers, wrustel, etc...), while I eat hardly some others... So, I wanted to ask you: have you lived something similar? If yes, have you solved the problem, or are there 'forbidden' food to you, right now? Moreover: how did you solve this problem? How can you resist to put out again some foods from your nutrition?"
It may surprise you to know that I have no "forbidden" foods. I also have no "safe" foods. I eat everything, and I do mean everything. I'm not even a picky eater. There are a few foods I naturally dislike like creamed corn, french onion soup, and scallops, but I've disliked them since childhood. Other than those and a very few others, I eat anything and everything.
When I was dealing with my anorexia, I definitely ate very few foods. I had certain foods that I considered safe - usually low calorie foods. I had such little variety in my diet it was amazing (actually boring is a better word). I also had, as you call them, "forbidden" foods. At one point, I wouldn't eat anything with fat content. I had to have fat-free everything. I wouldn't eat sweets. I wouldn't eat hamburgers. The list went on and on.
I had to re-learn what it means to eat. I used food as a coping mechanism. As a form of control. There were problems behind the food - food wasn't really the problem. Once I was able to deal with the problems, I was able to realize that food was just food. It's what eating disordered individuals strive to learn every day - that food is just food. What a concept, you know? But it's true - food is to nourish and to be enjoyed. It's not a violent entity. It's not a weapon. It's not a punishment. It's not a reward. It just is.
I also had to slowly re-introduce foods that I had previously given up. Foods that used to scare me, I had to bring back into my diet one by one. It's really as simple as that. I can't promise you won't have moments of freaking out or feeling bad, but keep pushing through.
The following video can answer this question better than anything else I can say, and surprisingly enough it was this week's "Wednesday Warriors" video for the ED recovery collaboration on YouTube. Check it out! :)
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Question # 15: Perfectionism
I've finally resumed! The next question is from Veggie. She asks:
"What do you think about the role of the perfectionism in EDs? (Moreover, in anorexia?)
Have you got some tricks to be not overwhelmed from perfectionism? I've asked this because I'm a 'perfectionist' and I've got some problems to split the 'healthy perfectionism' - which is part of my character - from the 'anorexia perfectionism' - which plays a great part in the maintenance of my anorexia..."
GOOD question. I actually did a YouTube video called "Perfection & Imperfection" seven months ago. I'm going to put that video here, so if you don't want to read through the post, you can just watch me talk sternly at you in my smiley, perfectionism-is-crap, Arielle-ish way. But for Veggie's sake I've taken the liberty of writing out the majority of what I say in the video, since I know English isn't her first language and I understand how hard it can be to understand someone in a video when you'd prefer to just read their words at your own pace. I'm also aware that I have a fair number of other viewers who don't speak English as a first language, so I figured this way the words are below the video as well.
So many people, eating disordered or not, are just so engrossed with this topic of perfection and imperfection. And it can really become an obsession, whether it's body image related, beauty related, achievement related. You can even go as far as "grade" (referring to school) related. There are so many things to be obsessed about where flaws are concerned. And it's a really unfortunate thing that people are obsessed with this, because it takes away from living your life.
I was extremely obsessed with being perfect in a wide variety of categories. I had your typical perfectionist, anorexic mindset. That's a little stereotypical, but it is very true that eating disordered people tend to be perfectionists or at least have somewhat of an obsessive mindset.
Not only does everyone have imperfections, but everyone has problems, issues... If you feel that you're the only one, that's where you're going to run into that fear of being imperfect. You can learn to embrace your imperfections if you don't think of them as imperfections. "Imperfections" sounds like such an ugly word and sometimes just stereotypes or stigma around a word can really change our perception about it.
So how do you come to terms with not being perfect? Honestly, it can take a while. There are definitely still days when I don't like something about myself, the way I did something, or when I wonder what other people think... but I've come a long way from where I used to be and I'm so much happier because of it. Letting go of this "having to be perfect" attitude is going to really, really benefit you. But you have to stick with it, because this question--at the heart--is "how do I come to terms with not being perfect?" That's where any of my "tricks" would come in. The only way to "not be overwhelmed by perfectionism," as Veggie puts it, is to accept our imperfections and realize FULLY that no one is perfect. No one. And our imperfections don't have to be something NEGATIVE.
You have to remember that nobody's perfect, and I know that's such a typical, cliched statement, but it's so true. Nobody is perfect. Perfect does not exact. (Yep, you heard me.) And imperfections are so much more beautiful than perfection is. (Okay, now you're thinking I'm crazy... but it's true! I really believe this!) In order to come to terms with not being perfect, you have to really embrace the good qualities you have. You have to really learn to love all the good things about yourself. And once you've done that (which even THAT can take a while), then you have to start to embrace your flaws. (Sounds thrilling, doesn't it? But hear me out...)
That's not to say that you shouldn't continually be trying to make yourself a better person; I think that's something that everyone sort of strives for in their lives. I mean, they know that they're not so great at something...or they know that they could change their attitudes about something... and they want to make themselves better... and that's very good and very commendable...AS LONG AS THE GOAL, ultimately, IS NOT PERFECTION.
Perfection is not achievable, so essentially, you're setting yourself up for failure from the get-go.
You need to let go of that whole perfection thing.
Perfection is a fallacy. Next, you must learn to accept your own imperfections as normal...because they are normal. And I'll tell you why. No matter how alone you might feel about a certain flaw or imperfection that you have, you're not alone. Just think how lonely having an eating disorder is. And think how alone you felt at certain points throughout your struggle...or even how alone you still do feel. But are you alone?
I mean, I made this video for a recovery collaboration that has over 600 subscribers and even more viewers. If you're reading this, you are among hundreds of visitors to my blog. And that's just a tiny microcosm of the world. There are A LOT of people with eating disorders out there. And even though at one time or another we might feel alone because we have one, we know we're not. You have to remind yourself: YOU'RE NOT ALONE.
Put the same strategy towards perfectionism. Use logic. Whatever your imperfection might be (today, tomorrow, 5 minutes from now), whether it's about a body part--being too big, too small, too this, too that--somebody else out there (and most likely, MANY, MANY other people) have that same imperfection.
And to be quite honest with you, who's to say it's an imperfection? I mean, especially if lots of people have it. And maybe, if by some major miracle, you are in fact the ONLY person who has that particular imperfection...isn't that more special? More unique? Think about it.
And I know all imperfections people worry over have nothing to do with the body. Maybe you wish you were smarter, prettier, tanner, taller, shorter...the list can go on and on. And chances are if you really sat there and thought about all the things you wanted to change about yourself, you might have a pretty long list. But again, remember: Everybody out there has SOMETHING they don't like about themselves. Everybody out there has an imperfection, or many.
You have to tell yourself to cut the crap sometimes. And just stand there in front of the mirror and say to yourself (sternly): "I'm not perfect...but I'm fine just the way I am."
From one (recovered) perfectionist--haha--to another, the role of perfectionism in eating disorders can be huge, but you can accept and grow, and soon your imperfections won't seem like a bad thing anymore.
"What do you think about the role of the perfectionism in EDs? (Moreover, in anorexia?)
Have you got some tricks to be not overwhelmed from perfectionism? I've asked this because I'm a 'perfectionist' and I've got some problems to split the 'healthy perfectionism' - which is part of my character - from the 'anorexia perfectionism' - which plays a great part in the maintenance of my anorexia..."
GOOD question. I actually did a YouTube video called "Perfection & Imperfection" seven months ago. I'm going to put that video here, so if you don't want to read through the post, you can just watch me talk sternly at you in my smiley, perfectionism-is-crap, Arielle-ish way. But for Veggie's sake I've taken the liberty of writing out the majority of what I say in the video, since I know English isn't her first language and I understand how hard it can be to understand someone in a video when you'd prefer to just read their words at your own pace. I'm also aware that I have a fair number of other viewers who don't speak English as a first language, so I figured this way the words are below the video as well.
So many people, eating disordered or not, are just so engrossed with this topic of perfection and imperfection. And it can really become an obsession, whether it's body image related, beauty related, achievement related. You can even go as far as "grade" (referring to school) related. There are so many things to be obsessed about where flaws are concerned. And it's a really unfortunate thing that people are obsessed with this, because it takes away from living your life.
I was extremely obsessed with being perfect in a wide variety of categories. I had your typical perfectionist, anorexic mindset. That's a little stereotypical, but it is very true that eating disordered people tend to be perfectionists or at least have somewhat of an obsessive mindset.
Not only does everyone have imperfections, but everyone has problems, issues... If you feel that you're the only one, that's where you're going to run into that fear of being imperfect. You can learn to embrace your imperfections if you don't think of them as imperfections. "Imperfections" sounds like such an ugly word and sometimes just stereotypes or stigma around a word can really change our perception about it.
So how do you come to terms with not being perfect? Honestly, it can take a while. There are definitely still days when I don't like something about myself, the way I did something, or when I wonder what other people think... but I've come a long way from where I used to be and I'm so much happier because of it. Letting go of this "having to be perfect" attitude is going to really, really benefit you. But you have to stick with it, because this question--at the heart--is "how do I come to terms with not being perfect?" That's where any of my "tricks" would come in. The only way to "not be overwhelmed by perfectionism," as Veggie puts it, is to accept our imperfections and realize FULLY that no one is perfect. No one. And our imperfections don't have to be something NEGATIVE.
You have to remember that nobody's perfect, and I know that's such a typical, cliched statement, but it's so true. Nobody is perfect. Perfect does not exact. (Yep, you heard me.) And imperfections are so much more beautiful than perfection is. (Okay, now you're thinking I'm crazy... but it's true! I really believe this!) In order to come to terms with not being perfect, you have to really embrace the good qualities you have. You have to really learn to love all the good things about yourself. And once you've done that (which even THAT can take a while), then you have to start to embrace your flaws. (Sounds thrilling, doesn't it? But hear me out...)
That's not to say that you shouldn't continually be trying to make yourself a better person; I think that's something that everyone sort of strives for in their lives. I mean, they know that they're not so great at something...or they know that they could change their attitudes about something... and they want to make themselves better... and that's very good and very commendable...AS LONG AS THE GOAL, ultimately, IS NOT PERFECTION.
Perfection is not achievable, so essentially, you're setting yourself up for failure from the get-go.
You need to let go of that whole perfection thing.
Perfection is a fallacy. Next, you must learn to accept your own imperfections as normal...because they are normal. And I'll tell you why. No matter how alone you might feel about a certain flaw or imperfection that you have, you're not alone. Just think how lonely having an eating disorder is. And think how alone you felt at certain points throughout your struggle...or even how alone you still do feel. But are you alone?
I mean, I made this video for a recovery collaboration that has over 600 subscribers and even more viewers. If you're reading this, you are among hundreds of visitors to my blog. And that's just a tiny microcosm of the world. There are A LOT of people with eating disorders out there. And even though at one time or another we might feel alone because we have one, we know we're not. You have to remind yourself: YOU'RE NOT ALONE.
Put the same strategy towards perfectionism. Use logic. Whatever your imperfection might be (today, tomorrow, 5 minutes from now), whether it's about a body part--being too big, too small, too this, too that--somebody else out there (and most likely, MANY, MANY other people) have that same imperfection.
And to be quite honest with you, who's to say it's an imperfection? I mean, especially if lots of people have it. And maybe, if by some major miracle, you are in fact the ONLY person who has that particular imperfection...isn't that more special? More unique? Think about it.
And I know all imperfections people worry over have nothing to do with the body. Maybe you wish you were smarter, prettier, tanner, taller, shorter...the list can go on and on. And chances are if you really sat there and thought about all the things you wanted to change about yourself, you might have a pretty long list. But again, remember: Everybody out there has SOMETHING they don't like about themselves. Everybody out there has an imperfection, or many.
You have to tell yourself to cut the crap sometimes. And just stand there in front of the mirror and say to yourself (sternly): "I'm not perfect...but I'm fine just the way I am."
From one (recovered) perfectionist--haha--to another, the role of perfectionism in eating disorders can be huge, but you can accept and grow, and soon your imperfections won't seem like a bad thing anymore.
Friday, January 22, 2010
Thank You & Stay Tuned!
I need to take a minute to say thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you, my readers for all your wonderful and appreciative comments. I have received a plethora of them in the last month (via comments and emails) and I haven't really responded. You are all so great and so, so kind.
I also want to tell you that I owe you a BUNCH of answers to questions. I just compiled the list of the rest of them (I believe I left off at # 14 a while back...). So Kia...Suzanna White...Veggie... Krystal... I didn't forget about you, dears! I am working on the responses this minute and will have them up on the blog in respective posts as soon as possible. You left me some really great questions in comments a little while back and they have been stashed away, waiting for me to get my butt in gear. :)
I hope you all have a wonderful weekend. I know I am looking forward to it! For now, I will leave you with this:
What can I do this weekend to put a smile on my face?
Well, what are you waiting for? :)
I also want to tell you that I owe you a BUNCH of answers to questions. I just compiled the list of the rest of them (I believe I left off at # 14 a while back...). So Kia...Suzanna White...Veggie... Krystal... I didn't forget about you, dears! I am working on the responses this minute and will have them up on the blog in respective posts as soon as possible. You left me some really great questions in comments a little while back and they have been stashed away, waiting for me to get my butt in gear. :)
I hope you all have a wonderful weekend. I know I am looking forward to it! For now, I will leave you with this:
What can I do this weekend to put a smile on my face?
Well, what are you waiting for? :)
Monday, November 30, 2009
Getting Your Priorities Straight
Hi everyone,
I have officially stopped accepting art for my Calling All Art! Show & Tell and Giveaway (unless you get something to me within the next 3 hours, that is). I still have some more artwork to put up on the site in the next couple of weeks, but I will no longer be collecting more for the Giveaway. Stay tuned, because there are some DAZZLING pieces still to come.
On a different note, I received a question from one of my YouTube viewers last week and made a video in response. Hope you can find it helpful. It's about getting your priorities straight, or in other words, "how can I give up other aspects of my life to get help?"
Check it out - click to view on YouTube as usual. :)
I have officially stopped accepting art for my Calling All Art! Show & Tell and Giveaway (unless you get something to me within the next 3 hours, that is). I still have some more artwork to put up on the site in the next couple of weeks, but I will no longer be collecting more for the Giveaway. Stay tuned, because there are some DAZZLING pieces still to come.
On a different note, I received a question from one of my YouTube viewers last week and made a video in response. Hope you can find it helpful. It's about getting your priorities straight, or in other words, "how can I give up other aspects of my life to get help?"
Check it out - click to view on YouTube as usual. :)
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Question # 13: How to Fill the Void
Well, your questions are still coming! I’ll keep going until the questions run dry, so if there’s anything at all you want to ask, just leave a comment on any post and I’ll collect them and go from there. No need to backtrack to the original Q & A post.
Question # 13 comes from Stella:
“How can you fill the void you feel when you stop restricting so you can't count on anorexia ‘support’?”
Excellent question! I did a post about this a long time ago, back in 2007. I called it “Filling the Gap.” This is something a lot of people struggle with as they try to recover, and it’s a concern for a reason. Letting go of something so all-consuming is difficult. It stands to reason that you wouldn’t want to be left with a void after you “let go.” That wouldn’t feel very good.
Check out the link to my old "Filling the Gap" post for some elaboration. It all centers around the question: What do you want to do?
The more open-ended the question, the better. Your life is like a blank canvas and you get to paint it.
Sometimes it's hard to remember what it is we actually like to do. Sometimes we never even learned what those somethings are. We never had time. We were all-consumed with our eating disorders. But there is beauty in discovering what we're good at, what we enjoy, what makes us smile or feel accomplished (besides eating disordered behavior), what makes us laugh or tap into our creative sides.
I challenge you to find out. I challenge you to rediscover (or to discover for the first time) what you enjoy about this world, this life. There is a plethora of wonderfulness out there waiting. All you have to do is start with the question What do I want to do? and then go DO it. It's often as simple as that.
Friday, November 13, 2009
Your Votes are Helping!
Just a quick reminder to vote! :)
You may remember that about a month ago, I asked for a little help regarding my blog. I'm a Top HealthBlogger with Wellsphere and that badge on my sidebar is there because of the Blogger Awards. Well, you guys have been voting for me, and it's really made an amazing impact! Last I checked, I was #9 in the Top 20!
You guys are fantastic.
The voting continues until December 15th, so if you'd still like to place a vote, there's plenty of time. If you like this blog and it's been helpful for you, I'd appreciate it so much.
My response to the last reader question is coming, as well as more art from... you!
You may remember that about a month ago, I asked for a little help regarding my blog. I'm a Top HealthBlogger with Wellsphere and that badge on my sidebar is there because of the Blogger Awards. Well, you guys have been voting for me, and it's really made an amazing impact! Last I checked, I was #9 in the Top 20!
You guys are fantastic.
The voting continues until December 15th, so if you'd still like to place a vote, there's plenty of time. If you like this blog and it's been helpful for you, I'd appreciate it so much.
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My response to the last reader question is coming, as well as more art from... you!
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