Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Question # 4: Beyond Negativity...

“How can you find positivity and strength to fight against anorexia, when all around - and, moreover inside - you spread negativity?”


Start inside and work your way out. It’s no easy task, but if you work on what’s inside of you first, the rest will follow. Positivity and strength aren’t things you find, they are things you realize, things you tap into, things that you must force yourself to remember time and time again.


The strength is there. If you think it isn’t, you won’t find it. If you tell yourself you don’t have what it takes to be positive and strong, you won’t be.


Try simple things to add some positivity and strength to your life.


-Create a special playlist with strong, recovery oriented songs that have a positive message—a message that makes you want to keep fighting.


-Keep a journal REGULARLY and get out most of your negativity there. That way, you won’t be berating yourself as constantly because you’ll have an outlet. The plus: you won’t be spreading negativity all around either—it’ll be kept in one place, between two covers of a book.


-Use Post-Its. They’re quite an invention. Force yourself to write positive phrases and stick them where you’ll see them. Your mirror, for one. Your computer. Your desk. Your refrigerator. Right smack dab on the calendar page of your planner. Even on the underside of the toilet seat if it’ll help you.


-Pummel a positive message into your head, especially one that’s difficult for you to swallow. For example, my daily cell phone idea.


I realize that these things won’t keep you positive and strong 100% of the time. But they’re a start. And don’t underestimate the power of asking for help when you need it. It takes so much strength. So if you’re looking to be strong, do that. It’s a test. And it can’t hurt.


One big thing: Instead of getting angry at yourself and calling YOURSELF “stupid” and other choice names, get angry at it. In your case, as the question above states, anorexia. (Insert "bulimia, ednos, orthorexia, binge eating, etc.) You have the power to turn things around. You do. But getting angry at yourself is only going to spread more negativity. Channel your anger in the right direction—at the source of your pain. Not at another person or at circumstances in your life. Not at yourself. AT IT. At this disease.


It might make you feel more empowered... STRONG, if you will. :) Use it.


*All links direct to more elaboration on my answer to the question. :)

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Thanks for your answer.

The first and the fourth ideas are very good... I'm going to try.
As it can't go worse than it is going, maybe things can only get better.

How you know that I often call myself as "stupid"? - (as I really am)

I know the wrong things are inside me, not outside. I know the wrong thing is anorexia. But it gets really hard to face with. I feel like my life is a neverending battlem and that what's going on: nothing's fine, I feel torn. I'm all out of fight, this is how I feel. I'm sick and tired about anorexia. Illusion never change into something real. I try to fight but I'm already torn.

And I don't know why I'm writing down this all here to you. Maybe because I'm stupid, I've just said so.

J.

Arielle Bair (Becker) said...

J.- You are far from stupid. You are fighting against a very powerful thing. Don't berate yourself. I didn't think for a moment that you were stupid.

I'm glad you're willing to try the ideas. They definitely can't hurt. I hope they'll do some good.

Don't give up. Anorexia only has its appeal until you are so sick you can't enjoy life at all. Then you are left with nothing.

Take care of yourself and thanks for reading,
Arielle