Day #29: This is my Song...

There have been many songs over the years that have spoken to me on a deep level. There is actually a playlist I share that I feel is helpful, uplifting, consoling, and hopeful. You can find it in one of my header tabs, Arielle's Recovery Music Playlist. I'd love to tell you what each of those songs means to me, but I'd rather have you find out what they can mean to you. That's the beauty of songs - they are open to interpretation, they can express different things for different people, and they have the power to help us in an almost spiritual way. I will, however, talk about 2 here that have been very important for me.

The first is Watershed by the Indigo Girls. I have taken the liberty of highlighting the lyrics that I find most important.

Thought I knew my mind like the back of my hand,
The gold and the rainbow, but nothing panned out as I planned.
And they say only milk and honey's gonna make your soul satisfied!
Well I better learn how to swim
Cause the crossing is chilly and wide.
Twisted guardrail on the highway, broken glass on the cement
A ghost of someone's tragedy
How recklessly my time has been spent.
And they say that it's never too late, but you don't get any younger!
Well I better learn how to starve the emptiness
And feed the hunger

Up on the watershed, standing at the fork in the road
You can stand there and agonize
Till your agony's your heaviest load.
You'll never fly as the crow flies, get used to a country mile.
When you're learning to face the path at your pace
Every choice is worth your while.

Well there's always retrospect to light a clearer path
Every five years or so I look back on my life
And I have a good laugh.
You start at the top, go full circle round
Catch a breeze, take a spill
But ending up where i started again makes me wanna stand still.

Up on the watershed, standing at the fork in the road
You can stand there and agonize
Till your agony's your heaviest load.
You'll never fly as the crow flies, get used to a country mile.
When you're learning to face the path at your pace
Every choice is worth your while.

Stepping on a crack, breaking up and looking back
Every tree limb overhead just seems to sit and wait.
Until every step you take becomes a twist of fate.

Up on the watershed, standing at the fork in the road
You can stand there and agonize
Till your agony's your heaviest load.
You'll never fly as the crow flies, get used to a country mile.
When you're learning to face the path at your pace
Every choice is worth your while.

Based on my liberal highlighting, you can see that I think a  lot of the song is important. And when you hear it with the music and the natural, raw voices of the Indigo Girls... well, you'll just feel every word even more. I could sit here and try to explain, piece for piece, why I like this song so much, how it relates to my own personal journey, and what it means for me... but I feel like it would be an insult to your intelligence. You can read it, you can feel it as I do, and you can understand.

The second song is What I Cannot Change by LeAnn Rimes. I have again taken the liberty of highlighting the lyrics that I found to be most important, and I have also crossed out the parts that allowed the song to make sense to my personal life.

I know what makes me comfortable
I know what makes me tick
And when I need to get my way I know how to pour it on thick
Cream and sugar in my coffee
Right away when I awake
I face the day and pray to God I won't make the same mistakes
Oh the rest is out of my hands

I will learn to let go what I cannot change
I will learn to forgive what I cannot change
I will learn to love what I cannot change
But I will change, I will change
Whatever I, whenever I can
I don't know my Father
Or my Mother well enough
Seems like every time we talk we can't get past the little stuff
The pain is self inflicted
I know it's not good for my health
But it's easier to please the world than it is to please myself
Oh the rest is out of my hands

I will learn to let go what I cannot change
I will learn to forgive what I cannot change
I will learn to love what I cannot change
But I will change, I will change
Whatever I, whenever I can
Right now I can't care about how everyone else will feel
I have enough hurt of my own to heal

I will learn to let go what I cannot change
I will learn to forgive what I cannot change
I will learn to love what I cannot change
But I will change, I will change
Whatever I, whenever I can

 

So many things in my life have seemed unfortunate, unfair, upsetting, out of my control... I have had to learn to let go what I cannot change, even learn to forgive some things I cannot change, especially as they have related to my father. But I have also learned that I will change whatever I CAN. And that is a very important less to take away from this. Change is such a scary, powerful word. It can be powerful in a bad way, but also in a good way. You get to decide what to do with the stuff that can be changed... and as difficult as it often is, you can make the choice to let go of the stuff that is out of your hands. Doing these 2 things - letting go what I can't change and changing what I can - has made me a happier person.