Monday, June 25, 2012

Arielle's Word of the Day #25: FORGIVENESS

Forgiveness is so important in recovery from anything. Often, we have to forgive people who have had a negative impact on our lives. Most of the time, we have to learn to forgive ourselves.

Learning to forgive things from our past happens in time, as we come to terms with ourselves and heal our skewed perceptions. Our sense of self improves, we feel love for the person inside. But the MAIN thing I see people with eating disorders struggle to forgive is RELAPSE. Individuals get down on themselves and they get down on themselves HARD when it comes to their own relapse.

"I'm so stupid."
"I screwed up AGAIN."
"I can't do anything right."
"I'm not worth it."
"I can't believe I can't stick with this."

These are just some of things I have heard people say when they slip up and relapse while in recovery.

STOP. Just stop right now. And FORGIVE. Forgive yourself. Without forgiveness, you can't move forward.
Watch this. It's old, but it may just help you to let go and forgive that person inside of you who is still trying.


Jacquelineand.... said...

I often hear or read people say: "Do the best you can with what you have."

It's a lovely sentiment but I don't think it goes quite far enough. In Jacqueline world it would continue thus: "Do the best you can with what you have IN THAT MOMENT, and forgive yourself as you would your oldest and dearest friend." After all, you wouldn't beat up that friend if they fell down; you would give them all the love and support you could. It's really only ourselves we are so harsh with.

Arielle Bair (Becker) said...

Jacqueline, I wholeheartedly agree! Asking someone to treat themselves as they would a dear friend is advice I give to my group members regularly! Really helps put things in perspective. I love to redirect by saying, "You wouldn't say that to a friend, would you?" :-)

Jenn said...

it's really easy for me to forgive other people (too easy sometimes, perhaps) but i still struggle with forgiving myself. For things I have done in the past, and things I still do... but I know that I NEED to to find that complete peace inside of me. I'm trying.