Arielle's Word of the Day #7: HONESTY

You can be honest about struggling. Because struggling means you are fighting something...that you're not just sitting there and taking it...or giving in. And THAT is really saying something.

Recovery can often seem like a battle of your two selves. A seemingly endless ping-pong game.

It comes down to this. You see the number on a scale OR you see the way you look in the mirror OR you experience a trauma OR you dissociate OR you have a bad day, etc etc etc. Maybe a few of the above. You wince. You try to tell yourself that this recovery thing you're doing is okay because you're trying to be healthy. But it doesn't feel okay. And you don't feel good about it. 

You think about restricting OR binging OR purging OR harming yourself in some way, shape, or form.

You know you shouldn't.

And you try to get support from others to keep your saner thoughts in the forefront of your mind. 

The thing is, if you give in to restricting OR binging OR purging OR harming yourself in some way, you are going to be back on a downward spiral. So keep that in mind.

It's so easy to say you will only restrict/purge/[insert behavior] enough to get back to what you feel is a comfortable weight/better life/less anxious mind, but that's the eating disorder wheedling its way back into your head and slowly clutching you again until you continue and continue and continue, losing yourself in the process.

I know from experience.

I don't want this to happen to you or anyone. I know the mindset an eating disorder can instill, and I want you to know that you are stronger than your inclination to restrict/binge/purge/self-harm.

And eventually, the more resistant you become to eating disordered behaviors, the less all the junk in your life (that made you turn to your eating disorder to cope) matters.

It could take months, years, maybe a decade, but it can happen. Don't be afraid to be honest with yourself about your emotions, your desires (even if they're bad), your experiences, your problems. As I said before, you can be honest about struggling...because struggling means you are fighting something. And when you've recognized it, you can go forward from there, with honesty by your side helping you to be strong in the face of all the things that want to lie to you.