Arielle's Word of the Day #8: TROUBLE

Today, I'd like to share with you a poem I wrote 9 years ago. It's simply called "Trouble" and was very much an analogy for eating disorder struggles...

Trouble

 

I scraped my way through treacherous fields,

Through mountains and through trees…

Through wild nights of terror…

Of darkness and of seas…

Seas that swallowed hopes of mine

And carried me to shore

To leave me on the scarring sand

(I’d been there once before).

I stumbled to a forest

Where I lost my little way

And cried alone into my hands—

The eve was turning gray.

And when I left the forest vast,

The night was full-blown black.

I trembled then with cold and fear

And wanted to turn back- - -

But there, just in the distance,

I saw a shining star,

Something I could follow

Though I would travel far.

I dragged my heavy feet

Toward the glow of hopeful light

And when the morning came again,

I reached ice and snow so white.

I sighed and stood in panic

(Now what was I to do?),

But I saw some hundred feet away

A lake of purest blue.

So I slid along the snowy banks,

Wary of the breaking ice.

I diligently plodded

And only doubted twice.

My limbs were cold and shaky

When I reached that heated lake,

So I dipped my body slowly in

To soothe my horrid ache.

No sooner had I warmed myself

Then the lake began to dry—

I was stranded at the bottom,

Just looking toward the sky.

The water had all gone away—

I was just inside a hole—

And I looked about me fruitlessly,

Searching for control.

Little birds flew by me

Just when I had reached despair

And one by one they clung to me—

I was lifted in the air!

They carried me to safety

Where I searched inside my soul

For the lake, the morn, the star—

For the HOPE that was my goal.

And after I’d restored my hope,

My goal was higher still,

But I’d gotten through such struggles—

Now I had a stronger will.

The will to keep on fighting,

To keep going, and to strive—

I would not give up ‘til I had won—

Yes, I would survive.

© ALB 2003