EDAW13: Don't Wait, Accept the Invitation

It's brief. If you have 2 minutes, watch. And remember.

And don't forget to participate in Arielle's EDAW Giveaway if you want to win 1 of 4 eating disorder awareness bracelets. Details (and photos) here: http://tearstowords.blogspot.com/2013/02/arielles-eating-disorder-awareness.html

Be the Change

My shortest video EVER. It's only 30 seconds long.

Arielle's Word of the Day #1: CHANGE

So here we are... Day #1 of Arielle's "Word of the Day" June Blogger Challenge, a beautiful union with Hungry for Change. If you have yet to sign up, you can do so here: http://junebloggerchallenge.weebly.com/index.html

You don't have to sign up - you can participate without doing so - but it's a great way for your blog to be noticed by everyone else who is doing the challenge.

Hungry for Change, an amazing UK campaign, has partnered with Actively Arielle for this awesome new blogger challenge. I look forward to seeing what all of you have to share. Please feel free to comment here at Actively Arielle for further exposure, recognition by me, or to simply share something poignant with me that you have learned while writing with one of the prompts. I'd love to hear what you have to say.

Also, if you're on Twitter, don't forget to use the hashtags #ArielleLeeBair and #HFChange when tweeting about the challenge or linking to your posts! It helps facilitate community! You can follow me on Twitter here: @arielleleebair - I tweet constantly. And remember to use the daily images (like above) for each word.

But, of course, on to Day #1 of the "Word of the Day" Challenge...

Change means so many things. It can be wonderful. It can be difficult. It can be unexpected. It can be a goal. I say with certainty that I WILL CHANGE THIS WORLD FOR THE BETTER. And I don't mean that in a conceited, full-of-myself way. I just know that I will, because that is something for which I strive, for which I work. It is a goal of mine. It is the reason I use my voice. It is the reason I serve you.

I facilitate change daily. I have witnessed change. I have endured change.

But what I really want to talk about today is that fact that change can be scary. Yes, SCARY. There is often a lot of fear associated with change. And that's okay. We're humans. We're not robots.

And you know what else? As scary as it is, change is often necessary. Especially in eating disorder recovery.
It really is. Yeah, I know. It's also a lot of work. But it's for the best. So please, take this away with you today... a video I did a year ago...simply entitled CHANGE.

Check it out:
CHANGE with a Capital C ;-)

Also, if you're so inclined, I actually did a video called ACTIVE Change. As if Change alone wasn't enough, right? :-)

ACTIVE Change

Out with the Old, In with the New

Get rid of the stuff that's holding you back.

What have you outgrown (not in a physical sense, unless that's somehow relevant)? Think on it. You are still allowed to MISS what you've outgrown, but that doesn't change the fact that you've outgrown it.

On that note, what DON'T you miss? Use that as a force to push you in a better, more positive direction. We all have memories of days, months, and even years we'd rather forget. Perhaps you'd like to wash away some recollection of pain or misery? The thing is, in NOT forgetting about it, we become stronger people. So, don't erase. Instead, remember. And then ask yourself, "Why don't I miss that?" And use it like a tool to propel yourself forward.

What aren't you quite ready for? Be honest with yourself. It's okay to realize you're not exactly ready for everything all at once. Not many of us are. It can still be a tangible goal, whatever it is you're not quite ready for--because you just have to tell yourself: I'm not ready for it YET.

And finally, when all these questions have been asked and perhaps re-asked, ask the most important question of all: What are you looking forward to?

What are you waiting for? I can't answer that FOR you! :)

Your Life Raft in the Waters of Criticism

It’s easy to get swept up in the swirl of the world. You go to school or work and you see and hear things that make you feel inadequate. There are a lot of things out there that influence us, whether we like it or not. And in a lot of ways, it can be a good thing. Many of us have friends we have a great time with, family we love and care about, and things we enjoy doing, watching, or reading. And that’s okay.

But when you already feel a certain way and suddenly you can feel that something around you is pulling you to feel another way, you need to stop and think for a minute. A minute is all it takes. You’ve heard the advice: “Go with your first instinct.” Well, in this case, you usually should. If something you see or hear or read makes you second guess how you FEEL about yourself, it’s best to examine it.

Don’t get me wrong—it’s great when we see or hear or read something that makes us question our thoughts or our knowledge about something. It’s good to be open to other opinions, possibilities, and viewpoints. We can learn a lot by paying attention to the world around us. Just don’t let something make you feel like less of a person if you didn’t feel that way before.

If your peers are telling you something negative (that you’re fat, ugly, etc.) or worse—if your friends (which is questionable to say the least) are saying things that make you feel bad about the way you look—don’t let them bring you down to a place where you want to change to please them. Working to please others or to make others like you is no way to live and is, frankly, a recipe for disaster. At the end of the day, all you have is YOU.

Not all criticism is constructive.

Appreciating yourself is your life raft in the waters of criticism.

For girls and women, especially, life can become a competition. You want to be pretty, you want to be smart, you want to be thin. You want to make sure you are as good as everyone around you. Sometimes it can feel hard to measure up. Sometimes the people you’re trying to measure up against TELL you that you aren’t good enough in some way. You’re not pretty enough. You’re not smart enough. You’re not thin enough. Your clothes aren’t nice enough. Your haircut isn’t cute enough. The list can be never-ending.

You’ll never be able to please everyone. And you’ll never be able to hold yourself above the water if you let other people pull you under. And drowning is a horrible way to die.

Really, it’s all about survival. You can’t let people--or things you see, hear, or read--get the better of you. If you read in a magazine that being a certain size makes you somehow less appealing to the world at large, but you felt okay about your size before you read it, listen to your first instinct—that you are fine the way you are. Don’t buy into the negative pull. If your friends, school peers, co-workers, and/or family say something that makes you feel negatively about yourself, just remember that what they say doesn’t determine what you are. And for everyone who says something that makes you feel badly, there are just as many people who see you as great in a lot ways.

If you see an ad on TV and it makes you wonder if you should try to change yourself in some way, don’t let something you see for two minutes on TV influence you into thinking you’d be better off looking different. You have your own mind; use it.

Appreciating yourself is your life raft in the waters of criticism.

You write your own story. You can change anything you want. And you can add a new chapter whenever you feel like it. You don’t need something external or someone you know telling you what and how to change. All throughout your life, people are going to offer their opinions whether you like it or not. Sometimes a person’s opinion will help you…and sometimes it will hurt you. It’s up to you to learn the difference. There are a lot of things out there that can help us…and there are just as many things that can hinder us. A minute of thought can make a world of difference when it comes to deciding whether or not to think negatively about yourself.

When it comes right down to it, no one else anywhere is YOU. You are the only you. There’s no one out there like you. So you can’t go wrong looking the way you do. You can’t go wrong being what you are. You are you and that is the way you were meant to be. It’s okay and natural to feel unsure about the way you look sometimes, but if you’re feeling good about yourself, don’t ever let anyone make you think differently. When you give in to a negative thought about yourself, you’re relinquishing a little piece of yourself. If you continue to do that, pretty soon you’ll have surrendered a lot of pieces. You’ll be weaker and more unsure than ever.

Appreciating yourself is your life raft in the waters of criticism.

It can get pretty difficult dealing with things and people around you, especially if they are undermining your confidence in yourself. But you know what? It takes a very strong person to make it through and come out on top—to come out feeling okay. To come out knowing you are great just the way you are. To come out better because you know this.

Don’t give up on yourself. You have all the power.

And you are beautiful. Just as you are.

Unlimited Chances

There's no such thing as giving yourself too many chances. You yourself are the only one who can give YOU as many chances as you want or need. There is no limit to chances. There is no maximum.

I know how hard it is to even try. I used to have days where I just didn't care about a damn thing. I just wanted everything to stop and leave me to sit with myself and fade away into nothingness. I used to cry until the tears wouldn't come anymore because I had used them all up.

I got sick and tired of it. I know you're probably sick and tired of it now...maybe you've BEEN sick and tired of it for a long time...maybe you're even sick and tired of being sick and tired...

But maybe there’s something missing... Perhaps you’re sick and tired, but unfortunately, too tired to do anything about it. That's defeat. Don't allow yourself to be defeated. It's too easy. You're worth so much more than that.

In any case, I know it can feel too hard to even begin to try some days...because it's the same old story. The same old song and dance. To just keep on keeping on...to just keep on trying again and again. If you've been through this so many times and have been fighting for so long, it gets old and it gets worse.

That's the bad news.

The good news is fighting back is the only way you're going to eventually get out of the hell. The good news is: there IS a way out. It's just really hard to find. But if you want out, you've got to look. And if you're still coming up short, you've got to KEEP looking.

Because the thing is, you're either going to burn out and fade away or you're going to start climbing that rope to safety and freedom and health and happiness. Those are the only two alternatives...because this awful state of struggling—even if it’s been going on for a long, long time—only lasts so long, my friend.

You need a change--and I don't mean a change in your attempts to recover. I mean a vacation from your normal way of living. Nothing eating disorder related. Just a plain and simple change. And a big one. Something to rip away the focus on your eating disorder, to force you to spend time reflecting on yourself, to simply BE and exist and breathe in the change that will surround you. And when you come back from this "vacation"--when you've implemented this change--you just might not be so tired and listless. You'll be fresher, clearer, and better able to put a new foot forward. Again.

A big change is the only way to get out of that sick-and-tired-don't-care attitude.

I'm not saying there's one answer for everyone. But time away, that mental "vacation" (in whatever respect is available and possible) from the same old daily life you have is beneficial. You can recharge, restart, and refresh. But it can't be something subtle. It has to be something big. Significant.

You have a lot of chances waiting. Take them.